Beginning to talk with your kids about sex

Posted on November 5, 2015 · Posted in Communication, Culture, Parenting

Even if your child never sees any television or movies, he will still be exposed to the world’s concept of sexuality. He will hear it from the children that he plays with. Talk about sex is a part of every school situation. Suppose you attempt to cut your child completely off from the world? As unwise as that would be, there will still be contact. There is more than enough information in the form of short comments, quotations in books, pictures on billboards, stories and pictures in magazines and catalogs to influence your child’s concept of sex. Whether you like or admit it, your child is hearing from the world about sex. That is why God wants you to talk to your children about it. Your children need to hear in your everyday talk what God says and thinks about sexuality. You need to prepare your kids for Satan’s lies and deceptions about sex. Your children need to know that sensitivity and sensuality are two very different, indeed, opposite things.

How do you begin this conversation? Take comfort that you don’t have to begin talking about sex the way the world does. Graphic content and biological illustrations are not profitable for discussion about sex with your very young children. It is better to keep it simple and conceptual in the beginning. Tell them something like this:

“Sex is something special that God created for married people. It is a way for mommies and daddies to be close and special with each other. Sex is a blessing because it is designed to help husbands and wives know each other and bring joy to each other. Sex is also how God makes babies grow inside of mommies. But, sometimes people who aren’t married want to be close like that, and that is bad.”

Initially that is all that you need to say. Learn how to communicate these thoughts to your children in your own words.

As time passes and your children grow older you will tell them more, as they are ready. Proverbs 7 will help your children see reality from God’s perspective. Be sure to teach them this perspective well before they encounter sexual temptation themselves. A six or seven-year-old will probably be more receptive to this conversation than a sixteen-year-old!

Like it or not, lust has forced its ugly head into our daily lives.

God wants you to teach your children that lust and sensuality are wrong, and that sex outside of marriage is wrong… But it is not enough to teach them that it is wrong. You must teach them how to guard against the temptations that will assault them. They must be warned about the weakness of their own flesh. You have to tell them that when the temptation comes, sex won’t seem bad, it will seem like the most wonderful experience they have ever had—until it’s too late!

Excerpted from Everyday Talk, Chapter 10

Broken-Down HouseEveryday TalkEveryday Talk About Sex and Marriage

Jay Younts
Jay Younts is the Shepherd Press blogger. He is the author of Everyday Talk and other materials on parenting. He has been teaching and speaking on parenting issues for 30 years. Jay and his wife, Ruth, live in Fountain Inn, South Carolina. He serves as a ruling elder at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Moore, South Carolina. He and Ruth have five adult children.