June 2008 Archives

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Ephesians 6:1

It seems that there is actually one more post in this series of communicating the Gospel to your children. Heather, one of our readers, raised an important question about the last post. Here is her comment:

You mention that "Heather has been given only one option." Is it ever appropriate to offer a choice? For instance, "Honey, you can either give the train to your brother and find another toy, or you can play with the train with him." Or should these options be explained at a point when there is “not” a squabble going on (i.e. "here are some ways you can share and act kindly in the future")?

For wisdom will enter your heart,
  and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Proverbs 2:10

The wise in heart are called discerning,
  and pleasant words promote instruction. Proverbs 16:21

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother—which is the first commandment with a promise— that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Ephesians 6:1-3

This is the final post in this series about pleasant words and communicating the Gospel. I am also responding to comments left by Shannon and Ann. Thank you both for sending them.

In the last post I focused on the futility of attempting to reason with young children without first establishing the foundation of God’s authority. A child’s ultimate well being on planet Earth is directly connected to his attitude towards God’s authority. In other words, through repentance and faith in Christ, he must joyfully submit to God in every area of life.

The wise in heart are called discerning,
and pleasant words promote instruction.  — Proverbs 16:21

For wisdom will enter your heart, 
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. —Proverbs 2:10

If you have been following this series of posts on communicating the Gospel to your children, you will recall that we started the practical application by looking at teenagers and then working backwards. Now we are at the age of young children and toddlers, ages 0 to 5.

How do you communicate the goodness of God to these little ones? While there are several biblical themes that could be used I am focusing on two Proverbs, the ones listed at the beginning of this post. Remember the premise for this series:  If the knowledge of God is truly pleasant to your soul, your words should match that reality. The goal of your instruction to young children is to so honor God that your children will be receptive to your influence when they become teenagers.

The wise in heart are called discerning,
              and pleasant words promote instruction. Proverbs 16:21

In Shepherding a Child’s Heart, Tedd Tripp identifies three age ranges in children.  The first is from infancy to childhood (ages 0 to 5), next is childhood (from ages 5 to 12), and then the teenage years. There are, of course, significant differences within these ranges. A 9-month-old is different than a 5-year–old, and a 13-year-old is different than a 19-year-old. Yet these categories of ages are helpful. Each range marks a transition both in the development of the child and in the responsibility of the parents.

Your path led through the sea,
  your way through the mighty waters,
  though your footprints were not seen. Psalm 77:19

Last month I did a series of posts about the Asian floods and earthquakes and how the news media reported these events. Because these events happened on the other side of the world, they may not have seemed to be of immediate concern. It’s too bad, but life goes on. But now floods have come to the Midwest, the heartland of America. Many readers of this blog live in that area. Here is a quick survey of this morning’s headlines:

Flood Waters Keep Rising

Floods hit food prices

Cities of Sorrow

Another Levee Breaks in Western Illinois, threatening residents and farmland

The wise in heart are called discerning,
  and pleasant words promote instruction. Proverbs 16:21

If the wisdom of God has entered your heart then you can say that God has been good to you. This pleasantness of heart should result in pleasant words from your mouth. What do I mean by pleasant words? I’m not talking about careful, manipulative words that play polite “control” games with others. No, pleasant words should illustrate the genuine joy and pleasure that results from experiencing the power of the Gospel in your life. You and I deserve the torment of hell, but through gospel grace we receive the wonderful mercy of God. This reality must be translated into the language that you speak to your children.  God may use any number of different ways to bring your children to Christ. But the one way that must not be ignored is the words that you use to talk to your children. The thread that begins with the goodness of God that brings pleasant, intimate knowledge of him to your soul must extend to the very words that you use to give direction and counsel to your children.

10 For wisdom will enter your heart,
  and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.  Proverbs 2:10

Psalm 13 is a tender reminder that God has been good to us. As parents, we long for our children to know his goodness firsthand. How does that happen? This, of course, is the big question—but the starting point is less complicated than you might think. Allow me to ask a question from Psalm 13. Do you believe that God has been good to you?

I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.  —Psalm 13:6

Summer officially arrives 10 days from now. As the sun begins its six-month march southward amid days that relentlessly shorten, it seems that summer will be almost over before it even began. My wife and I used to look forward to summer as a time to get things done. We would plan ambitious projects for ourselves and our 5 children. Then, before we knew it, the leaves began to turn, signaling the approach of fall. Where did summer go?  (For those of you in the Southern Hemisphere I realize that winter is just beginning for you, so you have a six month head start to consider these things.)

…just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.  Matthew 20:28

Fairness is an unchallenged Goliath in the army of humanism. The modern days soldiers of humanism see the “fair” treatment of humans as an inalienable right of individuals, to the exclusion of the old notion that there is a God to whom man is accountable. The Humanist Manifesto mockingly scorns such notions. (See the Humanist Manifesto.) John Dewey and other important educational thinkers and psychologists had no use for the idea of obedience to a God who is no longer needed by an enlightened culture. These humanist thinkers have dominated educational philosophy for the last 100 years. In support of humanism, school textbooks have become increasingly politically correct. The educational texts of the early days of the American republic, such as McGuffy’s Readers or Noah Webster’s An American Dictionary of the English Language spoke of a God to whom man is accountable and a Bible that was worth studying. Humanism and its advocates, such as Dewey and Piaget, openly scorn the Scriptures and God’s authority. They have exchanged the eternal truths of God for pragmatic lessons learned by observing children playing marbles. This is but one reason why the U.S. Supreme Court has gone from quoting Scripture in its decisions to blatantly rendering decisions that defy the Bible.

So the last will be first, and the first will be last.  Matthew 20:16

The modern concept of fairness is rooted in achieving justice. Biblically, however, both fairness and justice must be defined as doing things God’s way. From a Christian perspective, the only way to be fair is to apply God’s word accurately to a given situation. Is this the same thing as making sure each child gets the same number of minutes to play with a toy, or making sure that each child has the same number of toys to play with?  Not really.

In the last post we looked at the parable of the workers in the vineyard to gain a biblical perspective on the concept of fairness. I made the point that what is right or fair must be associated with what God wants rather than what we think is right or fair.

So the last will be first, and the first will be last. Matthew 20:16

In a recent post I identified fairness as a Goliath of humanism. The Goliath metaphor represents an idea or a practice so culturally accepted that it becomes a champion of conventional wisdom, even while standing in opposition to the truth of Scripture. So this metaphor represents concepts that are seemingly unchallengeable. There are several such modern day champions which challenge biblical truth. Humanism is the modern source of these champions, though the issues they represent are as old as sin. In the days ahead we will look at several of these humanist champions, these modern-day Goliaths. Let’s begin with fairness.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2

Lisa posted this comment last week. Her concern is an important one. I am confident that many can identify with this comment.

How does one balance caring deeply about God's reputation through trying to raise godly children who glorify Him and still loving those who profess Christ yet bring shame to Him with the worldly, disrespectful, defiant heart issues they allow in their children? We feel called to homeschool our two daughters and shelter them from worldly and evil influences. Yet even among Christian homeschoolers, I am alone in my worldview. I do not say this with pride: I am truly discouraged and lonely in my quest to keep the hearts of my children focused toward God and His glory. It makes me question what I'm doing! These parents know all the right things to say and have read "all the books." They can quote Scripture perfectly and articulate the most Spirit-filled prayers. Yet, their children and homelife indicate that a true spiritual battle is going on, and Satan is having a heyday. And the parents themselves are willfully recalcitrant and delusional in accepting the responsibility that comes with this high calling. In fact, they get combative over this issue. Is it wrong to choose not to associate with families whose children can have such a profound negative influence on your children? How far do you take this? Must I quit a beloved Bible study I have been a part of for years because one new family is bringing all this into the mix? "Bad company corrupts good character," but how do we balance this with "clothing ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility..." Help!

Recently Berta, Lisa and Heather, as well as others, have made comments that to help sharpen the focus of the blog. Your comments, questions and insights provide direction to the issues we cover. This blog is an interactive forum to discuss the biblical dynamics of raising children for the glory of God. Please continue to offer your thoughts. The next two posts are directly related to comments from Lisa and Heather. I look forward to hearing from you.