January 2009 Archives

See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ. Colossians 2:8

Last year I did a number of posts about the Superbowl.  The links to those posts are listed below. While I don’t want to revisit all that was said in those posts here, I do want to draw your attention to combination of sport, spectacle and motivational manipulation that is the Superbowl.

Even in a down economy NBC is getting 3 million dollars for 30 second commercial during the game. These commercials  tell us much about what advertising industry leaders think will motivate viewers to action.  The Superbowl remains a cultural extravaganza. For Christians it should be a time of prayer and concern for a culture that is lost and becoming more lost. This event is about much more than sports. It is about life in America, 2009.

It is important to help your children see that this massive spectacle is a veiled cover for a troubled time. Yes, the pageantry will be extravagant, the hype will be overwhelming and there might even be a good football game. But at its core, the Superbowl is about how important we think we are as a culture. Use this time to show your children the shallowness of the spectacular.  Look for unsaved friends to whom you can reach out with the beauty of the gospel.

Superbowl Post 1
Superbowl Post 2
Superbowl Post 3

He who works his land will have abundant food,
  but he who chases fantasies lacks judgment. Proverbs 12:11

Let's look first at how gaming can detract from a productive life. As we do, consider this:  to the extent that gaming detracts from or lessens being productive, to that extent it must be avoided. Tremper Longman’s commentary on this Proverb captures the essence of the problem. Longman translates the phrase "...he who chases fantasies lacks judgment." with the phrase "...he who pursues emptiness lacks heart."

…The emphasis here is not so much on lack of exertion, but rather that energy is misdirected.He goes on to say that what is pursued in this situation lacks substance.  (Longman, 274)

In his commentary, Bruce Waltke says that the one who pursues fantasies has no sense. (Vol. 1, 528)

Longman is perceptive in focusing on misdirected energy rather than the game itself. Many gamers put a huge amount of time and energy into their gaming. Gamers are seriously committed to gaming, even if other, legitimate priorities suffer. The comparison here is with a farmer who thinks of other ways to get money, while neglecting his farm. Thus, instead of working his land, he schemes or chases fantasies and ends up without food for himself and his family. The farmer may think long and hard about acquiring money or about where he would rather be—but he will not be productive, and he will be hungry.

Electronic media has provided the occasion for many to be distracted from the work God has called them to and driven by fantasies instead. You don’t have to be a hard core gamer with the latest, most powerful computer to be drawn in. Hours can be wastd playing Solitaire or some other “low tech” game. The danger is that the energy spent in the pursuit of games—fantasies—will lead to a lack of productivity in areas where there is clear responsibility.

So the issue in gaming becomes pursuit of productive things rather than the pursuit of fantasies. Why not take time to evaluate the impact of gaming (broadly defined) on the lives of your children and those close to you? Think through these considerations:

In what areas is productivity being lost?

Is there a clear sense of meaning and purpose in the lives of your children? Or do they have large chunks of time that are seemingly discretionary?

Are there issues in their lives where they are unsettled and troubled?

What good things could be accomplished if less time were given to gaming?

Perhaps you can think of some additional considerations. In any event, think these things over and make some observations about them. We will get back to this in the next one or two posts.

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother's womb.

 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place.
    When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

 your eyes saw my unformed body.
    All the days ordained for me
    were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.

 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
    How vast is the sum of them! Psalm 139:13-17

I read the following comment on a blog that was posted yesterday, January 27. It was written by a mom hurting from a cruel, nasty comment made to her daughter because of a prominent birthmark.

The girl on the bus pointed at her birthmark--the one just below her left eye--and told her she looked stupid.

The soft confession came from my little girl, who was staring at the floor. A groan escaped me and I grabbed my daughter close. And I did exactly what I shouldn't have: I cried. Will it get easier to be strong? Will it get easier to say the right thing in response to pain?

Perhaps these words may bring comfort to this mother and her daughter.

A birthmark, curly hair, freckles, gangly arms, large feet—these are all things that may seem out of place, less than perfect. Why? Because they may not match someone’s stereotype of a human body. In a culture that features Barbie dolls and makeovers of all kinds, “different” is often equated with “not good.” Children are particularly adept in pointing out things that are different. Children are also born with the capacity and even the desire to hurt others. It comes naturally (Galatians 5:19-21). So, to answer this young mom, cruelty is always hard to experience, especially when you see it directed toward your child. However, there are several important truths to consider that will help you and your child respond well to such hurtful comments.

The first matter to clear up is the cause of the cruelty. This cruel response was not caused by the birthmark, but by the sinfulness of the girl on the bus. The birthmark is not the reason for the cruelty, even though it is the occasion of the cruelty.

Let’s not accept the assessment of the unkind bus mate over the teaching of God’s word. Psalm 139 expresses God’s intimate involvement in the shaping of our physical bodies, and then includes a prayer of gratitude for the way that we are made. The psalmist says God knit him together in his mother’s womb according to God’s own thoughts—so he rejoices because he is fearfully and wonderfully made. The psalm clearly indicates that God gave careful thought to how he made the psalmist’s body. These thoughts of God then became a source of wonder and awe. And remember, David did not write this psalm only for himself. It was written for a choir, to be sung as an encouragement to all of God’s people—of various shapes, sizes, proportions, and, yes, birthmarks. None of us is the product of random chance, and that includes the way we look. This birthmark was God’s particular choice for this girl. It may be different than most, but it is God’s choice. So there is nothing cruel about the birthmark. The only cruelty comes from a foolish child who is, in effect, calling God stupid, as the girl on the bus did.

The next matter to consider is God’s purpose. Why did he give this beautiful little girl a birthmark? We don’t know the details, of course, but we do know principles that certainly apply. We know from James 1:2-4 that trials are given to test our faith and produce steadfastness. Just as a test in school motivates a student to learn and then reveals his progress, so a trial in life provides an opportunity for growth in grace, and then reveals progress in godliness.

James 1:2-4  Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Finally, remember that “for those who love God all things work together for good.” Who knows how many ways God might use this birthmark for good? How many times might God use the godly, faithful response of a child to instruct and bless others?  And what a blessing could it be for a child to learn at an early age to trust and love the God who made her, and to overcome evil with good?

I would encourage this mom to rejoice in these words of the psalmist, the apostle Paul, and James; then, in turn, to help her daughter rejoice. Yes, God gave her daughter a distinctive birthmark. He did it on purpose, and it can be responded to with awe and wonder. The sadness in this situation is greater for the little girl who, perhaps unwittingly, is saying that God did a stupid thing. To make fun of what God has done is not wise.

The birthmark is a gift of God to this girl. She has not been cursed, but blessed. If a child asks her about the birthmark she can say, “I don’t know why I have this mark. But I do know that God wanted me to have it. It is special to me.“ For the daughter to embrace this powerful expression of God’s purpose in her life, this little girl’s mother must believe it first. Over time, as both mother and daughter look at reality from the perspective of Psalm 139, doubt will turn to joy. This little girl is indeed fearfully and wonderfully made!

I pray this will be an encouragement to this mom and her daughter. Thanks to Tim Challies for pointing out to me this mother’s post. We will return to the current series with the next post.

He who works his land will have abundant food,
    but he who chases fantasies lacks judgment. Proverbs 12:11

But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. Romans 14:23

Electronic gaming is another one of those activities that is not mentioned by name in the Bible. Such  activities often cause problems for parents and children. We tend to want to find a verse somewhere that gives a thumbs up or down to our activities. We think it would be nice if Proverbs 35:10 said: It is okay to do gaming, but no more than 30 minutes a week, else you will be in great danger of losing your mind.  But God, in his infinite wisdom, did not provide a book with a list of rules for every possible situation. What he did provide is a book that teaches his people how to love him by applying principles. Yes, there are commandments, but these are meant to help us form principles for all of life as we obey them. So, for example, the Holy Spirit directs the apostle Paul to use the concerns of his day about eating meat offered to idols to form a principle that not only answered the immediate concern of his day, but applies to all of life for all time – whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. In one master stroke of wisdom, God provided a timeless principle relevant to all cultures, including ours. Just as we have seen in the Facebook series, God has much to say about an issue that is not mentioned by name in Scripture.

I believe there are at least two defining principles that have specific application to electronic gaming:

     1.  Gaming must not detract from a biblically productive life.

     2.  Gaming, if it is to be done, must proceed from faith.

We will make practical application of these principles in upcoming posts. But first I want to provide a little history about the gaming phenomena. In 1993 David Sheff wrote Game Over: How Nintendo zapped an American industry, captured your dollars, and enslaved your children (Random House).  As you can tell from the subtitle, the author had a problem with Nintendo. Sheff did not write from a Christian perspective, but from the perspective of an analyst of American business and culture.  He was angered and alarmed by the success of Nintendo and its impact on American culture. Shortly after the book was published, Nintendo lost its leadership role in the gaming industry, as Sony and Microsoft became serious rivals. Sheff chronicles the rise of how a Japanese company that began in the late 1800’s as a manufacturer of elaborate playing cards for leisure use in Japan became a gaming giant in America. As the family-run company grew, it tried its hand at various avenues to tap into the Japanese market for leisure dollars. The company moved beyond playing cards and dabbled in ventures such as instant rice, running a taxi cab company, and even prostitution. But they returned to the company’s initial vision of amusement in leisure time. The focus shifted from playing cards to toys. Nintendo had built a huge distribution network in Japan and they made full use of it. Eventually one of their employees began to explore toys that incorporated electronic devices, such as remote controlled cars. That led to using technology to place simple games on a TV-like screen. In 1981 Nintendo had it’s first major hit game – Donkey Kong. The rest is history. By 1990 their character Super Mario was more recognized by American children than Mickey Mouse.

Sheff draws this telling conclusion:

In the last part of the twentieth century, leaps in technology ushered in a new era in which children and a substantial part of the culture as a whole would be more influenced by interactive electronic media – in their simplest form, video games – than by television, which had defined the previous generation.

This insight is key to understanding the impact of gaming on our culture and your children. Interactive electronic media is a more precise term to help understand the gaming influence. This term also helps to illustrate the strong attraction of Facebook and other forms of social networking.

In all of this, living for the glory of God must be understood on a practical level. Because the church was not particularly concerned with video versions of tennis or a plump Italian plumber named Mario, we were unprepared for what would come. Bouncing white balls on a screen and a harmless looking plumber gave way to captivation by games like Doom and Grand Theft Auto. Parents and church leaders finally became alarmed, but it was too late—electronic gaming is here to stay.

Principles were ignored because the initial presentation didn’t seem so bad. Now, interactive electronic media is riding a wave of powerful technology that has the power to enslave and encourage rage, lust, and revenge in ways few thought possible. The Wii offers an even broader arena for interaction. If biblical principles are not carefully applied, the temptations that Wii type systems provide far outweigh previous forms of gaming.

The biblical response is to bring the power of the glory of God to bear on these pursuits, which for many are no longer merely a leisure pursuit. The seductive allure of interactive electronic media offers to define life itself for the avid gamer, at least temporarily. Nothing but the majesty and glory of God can turn your children from the attractions of a dazzling, compelling electronic world.

In the next post we will look at the danger of chasing fantasies.

All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing.
        He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth.
        No one can hold back his hand or say to him: "What have you done?" Daniel 4:35

Like most of you, I was amazed at the skill and split-second judgment of Pilot Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger of US Air Flight 1549, as he put the plane down in the Hudson River with no loss of life. I watched one video clip in astonishment that showed passengers climbing out onto the wings of the plane within 25 seconds after the plane settled down after the splash. One of the ferries arrived on the scene three minutes later! As I listened to and read the various news reports over the next several days, the praise for the crew, the first responders, the passengers, and all concerned continued to grow. In response to all of this Captain Sullenberger said, "We were simply doing the jobs we were paid to do."

With the exception of a few references to prayer, one person about whom I did not hear much in all of the reporting was God. Be sure to make this point to your children. The safety of all of those on the plane is directly attributable to God and his purposes. This has been ignored in the news. Justin Taylor has linked to a helpful article by John Piper on just how involved God was in the incidents leading up to the impact with geese and the landing in the river. As King Nebuchadnezzar declared 2,500 years ago, God does as he pleases with the peoples of the earth!

Suppose Captain Sullenberger had not been able to effect a flawless water landing. Suppose, just as he was about to touch down, that a sudden burst of wind had caught one of the wings and caused the plane to sideslip into a spectacular cartwheel  that would have resulted in the deaths of all 155 passengers on board. The Miracle on the Hudson would have become the Tragedy on the Hudson. Would it have been because the pilot was less skilled? Would the flight crew have been less capable? Would the first responders have been any less alert? Yet, if this event had ended in significant loss of life, this same pilot’s judgment would have been questioned. Questions could have been asked about why the first responders were not on the scene more quickly. What is the difference between the hypothetical scenario I just described and the actual event? The difference would have been the purposes and actions of God.

From miracle to tragedy – the cause of both is found in the purposes of God. When God chooses to show his forbearance and preserve lives, it is an opportunity to explain to your children that God shows mercy so that man would be reminded of God’s control and reach out to him in repentance. If this event had resulted in a chilling cartwheel of death, it would also have been a merciful reminder that God is God, that people’s lives are in his hands and it is foolish to delay repentance.

Parents, use opportunities like this one to remind your children (and yourself) just how dependent we are upon God even for our next breath. Encourage your children to learn their responsibilities well, as Captain Sullenberger did. But then call them to entrust themselves to God, the One who holds all things in the power of his mighty hand.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land." Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-4

The last issue to consider regarding schoolwork, at least for this series of posts, is what to do when schoolwork does not happen. Let me sound a strong word of caution:  this is a complex topic. Parents, you must sort out what are matters that pertain to the struggles with sin and growth that your child has and what are the matters that are related to his schoolwork. I understand that the two areas intersect. Yet there are distinct aspects to each. For example, if your child looks at you defiantly and says no, I am not going to do my work, that is not an issue of schoolwork but of clear disobedience to your parental authority. The solution to this response is clear. You cannot allow outright defiance in your home. (As an aside, if you are struggling with this kind of response with your teenagers, checkout Rick Horne’s new book, Get Outta My Face.) This is not the sort of response I will address in this post.

 However, schoolwork assignments add another set of variables that goes beyond the immediate scope of the parent-child relationship. If you tell your child to take out the garbage, or take a few minutes to read to his little brother, the interaction is primarily between you and your son. However, if the task is to complete a schoolwork assignment, there may be important factors influencing your child of which you are not immediately aware. This is true even for homeschoolers. This post will focus on some of the problems that specifically relate to doing schoolwork. The principle to weigh carefully here is Ephesians 6:4 – do not provoke your children to anger.

Any time your child interacts with an outside source of direction or information, wisdom, discernment and patience are required to understand your child’s reaction to that source. Your child may be reading a short story about which he must write a paragraph. Your child may be faced with a word problem in her math book that she has never seen before. There may be some artwork accompanying an assignment that is new or strange to your son that causes unexpected reactions. A child in a school setting could be impacted by any number of variables that affect the way he works. Your child may not have understood his teacher, or perhaps he was distracted by problems with other kids in the classroom. So if your child is slow or troubled by a schoolwork assignment, don’t automatically assume he is being lazy or irresponsible. Passages like Ephesians 4:29 and Proverbs 18:13 must be carefully considered.

It is important to take the time to understand why the assignment is not going well. (The problem envisioned here is one of a deeper nature than the example in the last post.) Discipline appropriate to schoolwork struggles, discipline that benefits your child and honors God, is an art form all on its own. Simply giving terse directives may get the immediate assignment done, but that approach could also result in the beginning of a relational hindrance between you and your child. Such a hindrance could seriously undermine your ability to influence and help your child on other occasions when he really needs parental direction and concern. It is not uncommon for parents to genuinely desire a closer relationship with their children, but then find that their children have come to believe that their parents don’t really care. The opportunity has been lost.

 Here is an example of what I mean. Your 5^th grader is reading a short story about which he is then supposed to write a paragraph. There is an element to the story that disturbs him, but it is not obvious to you that he is troubled. His mind begins to focus on the troubling element. He may connect it with something in his life that is also troubling him—but he is embarrassed to tell you. So when you notice he is working slowly, or perhaps drifting, you encourage him to get back to work and focus on his task. He says okay, but still can’t focus. You direct him with pleasant words again to regain his focus. You ask him what the problem is. He says “Nothing, really.” You encourage him to stay with it. Eventually he finishes, but he is late finishing, you are frustrated, and he is reserved. You are thinking why can’t he just do his work? and he is wishing he could talk to someone about the disturbing thoughts he is having about the story. You warn him he must be more diligent about his schoolwork or you will take away his privileges with the computer for a week. He just bows his head and walks away.

This example is meant to be illustrative of a myriad of situations in which schoolwork issues are not what they may appear to be on the surface. In giving instruction you want to follow the principle of using pleasant words. You also want to spend enough time to know when your child’s subtle mood changes might indicate internal problems that need to be addressed. The principles of listening well and knowing your child are important if you are going to be a wise shepherd and build a strong relationship with him. You want him (or her) to talk freely with you about the things that trouble them but are hard to talk about.

Not all schoolwork issues are this complex, but you want to be prepared for the ones that are. Discipline that is directed at helping motivation must be applied with great care. It is important to be clear with your children about what you expect of them regarding schoolwork. It is not wise to assume anything. Develop clear easy-to-follow procedures about when and where schoolwork is to be done. Then, don’t just assume they will do it. Follow up.

By teaching about biblical motivation in doing things for the glory of God, using pleasant words, looking for troubling complicating issues, and providing clear steps to follow about when and where to do schoolwork, you will have addressed many of the reasons why there are troubles with schoolwork . On the other end of the issue are the acts of defiance and disobedience that are not really schoolwork problems, but problems of character and faithfulness. These should be dealt with the same way you would address any other act of defiance.

This, then, leaves us with a narrower, more specific focus. These are the issues directly tied to not getting the work accomplished. This is where you want to encourage your children to faithfulness and diligence. These are not natural traits, but must be pursued as fruit of the Spirit. The focus goes back to Colossians 3:21-23. You want to teach your children to do their work for God. Because you have already dealt with problems caused by the way you promote and present the schoolwork, and, likewise, because you have dealt with the heart issues of defiance and disobedience, you focus narrowly on matters tied directly to the schoolwork.

What are these matters? Assuming a child has the capacity to do the work, homework issues generally fall into one or more of three categories:  speed, neatness, and accuracy. Thus, If a child's work is sloppy or full of mistakes, then you must point out that this work is not what God desires from him. The consequences should fit the offense. One response is to have the child redo the work until it is done as well as your child’s abilities will allow. Discipline is built into this process. If homework is done as well as it can be the first time, then children will avoid having to redo the work.

Consequences for not doing schoolwork well should impact other areas of life as well. If schoolwork is done slowly or poorly, other activities will be delayed or canceled (assuming of course that you are working with them about working more quickly). But the focus should always be on learning to work well, not simply on negative consequences. Encouragement and positive consequences should outweigh the threat of negative consequences. Instead of scolding and exasperation, offer your child encouragement and support. Break the work down into achievable steps, and be available to help as needed. Be a cheerleader! Your loving, firm, and compassionate involvement at this step has potential to open a rich relational component in your relationship that will serve you, your child, and Christ. This is the way to live out Proverbs 6:20-24 with your children.

Let me know your thoughts. I am open to doing additional posts of this subject if it will be helpful. 

The wise in heart are called discerning,
       and pleasant words promote instruction. Proverbs 16:21

This series of posts is in response to this question and comment.

 I'd like to see you address the topic of motivation in schoolwork sometime on your blog. How do we use the Scriptures to instill in our kids a motivation to do their best in their studies? What form should discipline take for children who do not apply themselves the way they should?

In the previous post we saw that schoolwork is something given by God. When homework  presents challenges, we have an opportunity to appeal to the gospel grace of God for strength and wisdom to complete the task at hand for his glory. In other words, schoolwork is part of the providential plan of God.

In this post we will look at how to promote schoolwork to your children. "Promoting schoolwork" may seem like strange language. Sporting events, school plays, and political causes are promoted, but schoolwork? However, the Bible uses this language. Over and over, Proverbs pleads with young people to listen to instruction and warns of the folly of those who ignore it. Proverbs 16:21 assumes that promoting instruction is a good thing, and this verse states a simple but profound teaching principle. The translation quoted above is from the NIV. Let's read three other translations of the same verse; the additional translations help to clarify the importance of way in which instruction is given.

 The wise of heart is called discerning,
   and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness. ESV

The wise are known for their understanding,
      and pleasant words are persuasive. NLT

Anyone with a wise heart is called discerning,
    and pleasant speech increases learning. HCSB

Pleasant words encourage and attract us; harsh words discourage and alienate. Threats may produce fear and compliance, but they are not nearly as effective pleasant words, which encourage cooperation, enthusiasm, and affection. Pleasant words promote instruction!

Your children need the encouragement of pleasant, sweet words to do their schoolwork in a God-honoring way. You want much more for them than just completed school assignments; you want your children to be wise and discerning in the inner man, and you want them to be drawn to God's ways. From the world’s perspective, finishing the assignment and getting a good grade is all that is required. From a biblical perspective, every challenge carries the opportunity to know God more deeply. This is where pleasant, gentle persuasion from loving parents comes into play. Schoolwork provides an opportunity to hold out the gospel. God’s grace, his help, is available to those who come to him humbly and ask for it. And God is honored when children depend upon him for strength to do the things he has give them to do. God is not honored by attempts to accomplish tasks by the sheer force of human will, apart from the help and purposes of God (Proverbs 19:21).  Use pleasant words to help children see that God wants them to trust him, to come to him for strength for each assignment. That is one aspect of why Jesus died. All of life is about living out the implications of the gospel, and schoolwork, too, is an opportunity to encourage your children to turn to Christ for strength if they do know him, and an opportunity to seek God’s forgiveness and grace if they do not. Don't miss the opportunity to point them to Christ.

How to do it? Let me give an example.  If your child is procrastinating in finishing his work, you might be tempted to say something like this in a stern, almost exasperated, tone: Schoolwork is just part of life; the sooner you finish the sooner you can play. The Bible says not to complain, so stop complaining and get to work! When I come back I expect your work to be done. Do you understand!?

Now, the parent's content is accurate. Schoolwork is part of life. When the assignment is completed other things can be done. Complaining is wrong and needs to be corrected. Setting time limits for getting work done is often a good idea. Making sure that children understand your direction is also a good thing. But, as Christians, we have to be more than accurate. We must also, in addition, speak with love, compassion, understanding and persuasion. Speaking that way is not natural for parents, any more than it is natural for children to their work eagerly with a thankful spirit. Parents need the power of gospel grace as well! James 1:19-20 illustrates the truth of Proverbs 16:21 this way:

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

It is important for your child to know that there is no alternative; he must do his schoolwork. But how this reality is presented is also important. What is going to promote instruction and persuade him to do his work? Sweet, pleasant words delivered with firm resolve. So, let’s recast the above example from the viewpoint of Proverbs 16:21.

You see that your child is not being diligent in completing his task. Your tone is pleasant and sympathetic, but it is also firm, indicating that there will be no alternative to completing the work at hand. Your words might be something like this: “I know it's difficult to do your work sometimes, isn’t it? Is there anything bothering you that is keeping you from doing your work?” If the answer is yes, determine quickly what the problem is. Usually, it will be best to address the issue after the schoolwork is done so that the problem itself doesn't become a way to procrastinate. However, occasionally you may discover something that needs your immediate attention. To continue – “Okay, I know there are other things that seem more interesting. But remember, this work is part of what God has planned for you so that you can know him and learn to follow his ways. God tells us to be diligent . Is there anything about the assignment you don’t understand, or is there something I can help with? Okay, then, let’s pray right now for God to help you focus on your work and ask for his strength to finish. I’ll check back with you soon to make sure things are going well. I know there are some fun things that you want to do, and I want you to be able to get to them as soon as you are finished. I love you.”

Obviously, you will have to adjust the language to fit your situation, but be sure to cover these points in encouraging your child to do his work.

As always, let me know your thoughts. The next post will look at appropriate disciplinary steps to take when your kids resist doing their schoolwork. 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
       and lean not on your own understanding;

 in all your ways acknowledge him,
       and he will make your paths straight.  —Proverbs 3:5-6

In the last post we looked at a request regarding motivation and children doing schoolwork.

I'd like to see you address the topic of motivation in schoolwork sometime on your blog. How do we use the Scriptures to instill in our kids a motivation to do their best in their studies? What form should discipline take for children who do not apply themselves the way they should?

I asked you to think about this topic and consider how you might answer the question raised by the commenter. Now that you have had time to do that, let’s see what you think about my response.

This familiar proverb is often found on wall plaques. It is too often used as a Christian platitude, without any particular application. But it is specifically designed (as one of many applications) to help motivate your child to honor God with his schoolwork. The first couplet contrasts trusting God with relying on one’s own understanding of life. The second couplet gives a directive and a blessing.

What is there about schoolwork that should point to trust in God? First and foremost, it is God who assigned the schoolwork. God orders all things and determines all earthly authorities, including teachers (Colossians 1:15-20; Romans 8:28). Schoolwork, no matter how random, tedious or difficult it might be, is ultimately directed by God in his wise providence. One of the purposes of all the work that we have to do is to drive us to Christ and his gospel (Col. 3:17). In order to encourage your children to trust God, you must first encourage them with the gospel message of grace. Their schoolwork is sent to them by God. Therefore, schoolwork becomes an opportunity to call your children to faith in Christ.

So, when your children are unmotivated to do schoolwork, your first step is to encourage them to trust God. He didn’t make a mistake. He actually ordained that they would have this work to do at this time. Encourage your children to trust God's wisdom in providing their work for them. In doing so, you are encouraging them not to trust their own understanding. Most children fall into the ratherbe camp. That is, I would rather be – making snowballs, playing ball, playing Wii games, etc. This is where they are to trust God and not their own understanding.

Does this mean your children will never have an unreasonable teacher who consistently gives unrealistic assignments? No, of course not. But that is where you function as a parent to protect—not coddle, but protect them—from this sort of thing. It is your responsibility as a parent to work out a solution; it is not an option for your child to rebel against authority.

Verse six complements the truth in the first couplet. Bruce Waltke, in his excellent commentary on this verse (The Book of Proverbs: Chapters 1-15 [NICOT], Eerdmans), shows that the word acknowledge here means much more than just a tip of the hat to God. The word has the same root as the other OT passages that talk about knowing God intimately. This verse is urging God’s people to show love for him in all they do. If God is acknowledged with this sort of conscious devotion, God then promises to make their paths straight.

Now, back to the child struggling with schoolwork. God has not made a mistake in giving the assignment, even if the human teacher did! Encourage your child not to rely on his own feelings and understanding, but to actively trust God’s wisdom. The ultimate reality is that your child's assignments are from God. (Colossians 3:23 teaches that this is true for all tasks, not just schoolwork.) Therefore, this is a matter of obedience to God—schoolwork is not primarily about getting grades or pleasing teachers and parents. Schoolwork is about bringing honor to God.

You might be saying by now that your child is not particularly interested in honoring God in schoolwork. Well, that's the fundamental problem, isn't it? Of course it's not natural to want to please and honor God. That's true for all of us. Children may want to work for a good grade or some reward or recognition—that's natural, and we are usually quite satisfied with that, because the homework gets finished and our own task is much easier. But not all children are motivated by those desires. What do you say then? Doing work for God’s honor seems pretty intangible.

Parent, be thankful for the opportunity to address your child's difficulty.  What is needed is the gospel. And when are people most drawn to the gospel? Isn't it when they are most discouraged by their failure, weakness, and need? Help your children to be see the desires that drag their attention away from obedience. Remind them of the gospel and of God's grace, which is available to help them whenever they need it.

As a parent you are commanded by God to teach your children to acknowledge and love God in every area of their lives (Deuteronomy 6:4-7; Ephesians 6:4, etc.). Schoolwork assignments are opportunities to show just how intimately God is involved in the life of your children. These assignments were handpicked by God especially for your child so that he would look to Christ for the strength and wisdom to accomplish the task (Philippians 4:13). Even if your child does not understand this, it is still your obligation as a parent to help him see it this way. This is reality.

If you teach discipline and hard work as the primary means to accomplishing schoolwork you will give your children a faulty picture of how life works. Your children need Christ to do their work in a way that honors God. They need Christ, and they need to see that their work has been given to them by God so that they will come to trust him for the strength to do their work. True biblical discipline flows from seeing the need for Christ’s grace in all of life.

This addresses the principles of the motivation issue raised in the original question. In the next post we will look at some practical ways to present these issues to children to encourage them with the gospel. Then we will take a look at appropriate discipline and correction in light of the biblical, gospel driven purpose of schoolwork.

In this light I strongly recommend Instructing a Child’s Heart. This book addresses the formative, foundational perspectives needed to help you and your children know God more deeply in all of life.  

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
       and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways acknowledge him,
       and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5&6

The following request came in from one of our readers.

I'd like to see you address the topic of motivation in schoolwork sometime on your blog. How do we use the Scriptures to instill in our kids a motivation to do their best in their studies? What form should discipline take for children who do not apply themselves the way they should?

This is a topic that nearly every parent, and certainly every child, is familiar with.  "It's time to do your schoolwork." The response is usually not – Sure mom, thanks for reminding me. I can’t believe that I almost forgot to get back to doing my work. This school stuff is great! Maybe I will have even more to do tomorrow.”  No, the response is more likely to be,  “Why do I have to do this? I really don’t feel good. Maybe I should stay home tomorrow.” So, what do you do to provide biblical motivation?

I believe the familiar passage in Proverbs (quoted above) is a great place to start. Since the question is about schoolwork, let me give you an assignment. Think about how Proverbs 3:5-6 applies to the question that our reader asked. I’ll give you my answer tomorrow. Please let me know your thoughts.

Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. ESV Colossians 4:5

Due to an excellent observation in a comment from Jenny, this post will address another issue regarding Facebook. Your comments and thoughts are valuable. There have been a number of good suggestions for posts in the last couple of weeks and, Lord willing, we will get to them all.

Jenny raised an important consideration in her comment. She raised the concept of “me time.” As Christians our lives are to be centered on bringing honor to the name of God in all that we do. (I Cor. 10:31; Col. 3:17, etc.) Our culture inundates us with the idea that our first need is to care for ourselves. Yes, God is important, but only as he or she meets our need for whatever spiritual vacuum we have that needs filling. From a cultural standpoint the idea of spirituality is just another part caring for myself first. Culturally, we are challenged every day to see life in terms of self-fulfillment—my needs, my space, my time, my life and, sadly, my god, whomever I deem her or him to be.

As Paul teaches in I Corinthians 6, we are not our own, we have been bought with a price. It is instructive to note that the context of this teaching that we are not our own is a discussion of sexual conduct. What could be more intimate and personal than your sexual life? Yet Paul says that even in this area we are not our own. We are not free to choose how to behave sexually, based upon our assessments of our needs. And, not surprisingly, the area of sexuality is one in which our culture openly despises biblical truth. Sex is for you, in any way that you wish to have it. You have the right to do with your body whatever you want. Clearly, by asserting the value of self-fulfillment regarding sexual behavior, the culture has not been friendly to Christianity.

If Paul says that you are not your own in the intimate area of sexuality, certainly this same principle applies to the rest of your life. In acknowledging the Lordship of Christ over your sexual life, you will actually enjoy and benefit from sex more than if you followed the calling of the culture for self-fulfillment. In other words pursuing what I want apart from God is never a good or healthy practice.

From another perspective, let’s say that you live on a farm far away from the urban sprawl. How helpful would self-fulfillment be as a guide for living on a farm? Saying that you would rather not go out and prepare the fields for harvest so you could catch up on the latest status updates of your Facebook friends would seem a little bit ridiculous. Or, waiting to milk the cows until tomorrow so you can play Word Twist on Facebook or check out a friend’s latest blog entry—because I just need time for myself—is equally ridiculous. Instead, as a Christian you should be filled with gratitude that there are fields to harvest and cows to milk.

Okay, so you don’t live on a farm. But you do live where God has purposed for you to live (Acts 17:26). Your time is not your own, but purchased by God with the blood of Christ. God wants you to make the best use of your time or, as the NIV translation says, to make the most of every opportunity.

To specifically address Jenny's comment, your children are young for an amazingly short time. There are opportunities to speak of God even when changing diapers. Changing a diaper means that God has given you a precious child! You can’t separate the chore of dirty diapers from the blessing of your child. This is part of who he is and what it means to have him. If there were no diapers to change there would be no child. So, even changing diapers is an opportunity to thank God for his faithfulness to you. Here is a challenge:  every time you change a diaper, tell your child how thankful you are for him and thank God for him. Grumpy diaper changing leads to a grumpy life.

With Facebook, you are presented with an opportunity to learn about others and to influence those outside the faith, at least in some small way. This can be a good thing. However, there is the temptation to sit and be caught up for hours following the endless rabbit trails of friends, groups to join, causes to become a fan of, and games to play. You may call this "your time." But as we have seen, your time is not your own. To improve your time management, perhaps you need to set a limit for the time you will spend on Facebook. And while that may be needed for some, an even better option is to turn away from our culture’s calling for self-fulfillment. God provides you each day with the opportunity to die to yourself and live for him. Facebook ought to be just something that you do as a fun diversion when you have the time to squeeze it in. Things like serving your family, studying God’s word, prayer, remembering the many ways God has blessed you, reaching out to people in your church and community, etc., should make Facebook time hard to find. It should be hard to find because your life is crowded with the joy of living life for God’s glory. It is not your time, your space, your life – it is God’s.

Facebook & Friends

A friend loves at all times,
       and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.  Proverbs 27:6

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. John 15:13-14

Joe added you as a friend on Facebook. We need to confirm that you know Joe in order for you to be friends on Facebook.

This is the message one receives when someone requests to be added as a friend on Facebook. As I mentioned earlier, the average Facebook account about has 100 friends. Many have much higher friend totals. What is a friend? A Facebook friend  is anyone whom you are willing to give permission to view your Facebook page, your "wall." That is one way to define a friendship. Others, in pragmatic, informal ways define friendship according to life experience. So a friend could be someone who is always there for you. But what does “always there for you” mean?  Does it mean someone who never criticizes or corrects you? Does it mean someone who only says good things about you? Does it means someone who will always listen? Or is a friend any casual acquaintance from a social networking site?

Rather than look at all the various ways friendship is defined in our culture, let’s take a brief look at what the Bible says about friendship. While much that could be said, the three passages above provide a good starting point. For the purpose of this discussion, note that each principle builds upon the previous one.

First – Starting with the last passage, note that Jesus Christ defines friendship. So a friend is one who will lay his life down, both literally and figuratively, for you. That is commitment. Remember that mankind would not even be able to understand the concept of friendship apart from God. Friendship did not originate from man as he progressed up the evolutionary ladder. Friendship reflects the image of God that formed the pattern for human character from the very instant of his creation. God is the model for all true friendships.

Since Jesus himself defines and models friendship, then it follows that it is wise to have friends who are also friends of Jesus. While we acknowledge the role of grace in our relationship with God, John records that we are friends with Christ if we do what he commands. So, it is a good idea to look for friends who are friends with Christ. How do I know that people are friends with Christ ?  If they obey his commands. If someone does not consciously choose to be friends with Christ by obedience to his ways, that person, from God's perspective, will not be a good friend to you.

Second – a friend will show sacrificial love to you at all times. People will often help each other, especially if it is convenient to do so. But this principle sets the standard much higher. True friendship will always cost something and will often be inconvenient. But that is what helps define friendship, and such friendship is rare. This is friendship that gives without expecting anything back. This is friendship that goes beyond saying Well, you would have done the same thing for me.

Third – a friend is one who recognizes your weaknesses and will lovingly tell you about them.  As the proverb says, the kisses of an enemy are profuse. If you a have relationship with someone who only praises you regardless of what you do, that person is not your friend. A true friend will deliver faithful wounds. In part, this happens because a true friend loves Jesus more than he loves you. Our struggles with sin are real and, sadly, ongoing. Someone who does not recognize this reality in you is either misleading you or is selfishly avoiding the difficult task of telling you what you need to hear.

These three principles make up essential components of authentic friendship. It may be possible for some to show elements of the 2^nd or 3^rd principles. But only a true friend can demonstrate all three.

So what is a friend? The culture around us, including the online communities, may define friendships in differing ways. But true, authentic ,friendship is rooted in these biblical principles. Talk about them with your children, with your circle of friends, with those in your social network, with your spouse. Most importantly, talk about them with God and ask him for the courage and wisdom to pursue authentic friendships that will encourage you to know the most genuine of all friends – Christ.

This post concludes this series on Facebook. I pray that it has been helpful to you. Thanks for your responses and comments. Let me know if there is more you would like to see addressed in this area.

We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. ESV  Romans 6:4

We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. NIV  Romans 6:4

See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.  ESV Colossians 2:8

There is a tendency to follow the world’s lead and see life as a mixture of the profound and the mundane – to contrast the exciting, meaningful, fun parts of life with the normal, dull, daily grind parts of life. For many this is the contrast between "chilling" or "hanging out" and doing something that really matters. Facebook falls into the hanging out category. It’s no big deal, just something to do when there is nothing to do. With the advent of 3G phone networks, you can update your Facebook status anytime using your mobile phone. So, while you are standing in line at the store, you can let the rest of civilization know that you are standing in line at the store. In this context, Facebook becomes a way to make the mundane a little more tolerable, a little less boring. But is this the way that God wants you to think about life—that large chunks of life are meant to be trivial? Sadly, it is uncommon to think of hanging out in terms of glorifying God.

Seeing parts of life as mundane is the kind of thinking that Colossians 2:8 describes as "empty deceit." You see, you can be taken in by the trivial as easily as by the profound. If you buy in to the belief that parts of life are trivial, of no real value, then you have been taken captive just as surely as if you were to believe that the story line of The Da Vinci Code is true. Your life, all of it, was purchased by the death of Christ so that you could live a new life—not just some of the time, but all of the time. Is it wrong to relax or take a break after a full day’s work? Not necessarily. But even then, it is good to remember that rest is given to us by God. He made our bodies to need rest and relaxation. But just as Christians should view love, money, or philosophy differently than the world does, we should also view relaxation and hanging out differently . Jesus died to give new life to his people—all of the time. The apostle Paul says it this way in Colossians 4:5:

Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. ESV

The NIV translates the last phrase of this verse “make the most of every opportunity.” The Facebook community puts you squarely in the path of many who are outside the faith. This surely is neither trivial nor mundane. You have opportunities to make use of your Facebook time to enhance the reputation of Christ. Simple comments will do – ones that remind your friends that God is more involved in life than we can ever imagine. Facebook time can be used to see if a friend seems to need encouragement. It can be used to observe how others are thinking so that you can pray for them or contact them. You can even point out unbiblical Facebook comments to your children, much as the father in Proverbs 7 makes the most of the opportunity when he observes a young man being seduced. Spiritual warfare is real. The most dangerous enemy tactic is the one we don’t see coming. The enemy is adept at ensnaring God’s people with weapons that appear to be harmless.

So it is easy to think hey, it’s just Facebook, what’s the big deal? The big deal is that all of life is to be lived for the glory and honor of God. If there are moments when you just kick back and don’t think about anything but what seems cool to you at the moment, you are missing the real value of life and putting yourself in harm’s way at the same time. The call of folly, like the call of wisdom, roams in the streets, in homes and in the best places in town. Those who are simple will not be able to distinguish between the two. Facebook can encourage you to b self-centered, to write and talk about yourself and to be caught up with yourself. Or you can use Facebook time to be different, to view other people differently. You don’t have to preach sermons in order to bring glory to God. Your status updates can include thoughts about the way life really is. For example – you could post something like this:

Life is not a spectator sport – it is war.

This is short. It is pithy. It is true. It may even provide some opportunities to say what is behind it. So, do your social networking realizing that since you belong to Christ, your networking involves his reputation as well as your own. Make the most of the opportunity.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. ESV

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. NIV

No rotten talk should come from your mouth, but only what is good for the building up of someone in need, in order to give grace to those who hear. HCSB    Ephesians 4:29

The apostle Paul does not make a suggestion for the specific type of communication that you employ in Ephesians 4:29. Rather, under the inspiration and authority of the Holy Spirit, he issues a direct and strong command. It is one that all of us too often ignore. Structuring our words to bring grace to our listeners is frequently the last thing on our minds. However, by failing to to do so, our words become corrupt, unwholesome, and rotten. Paul is saying don’t talk this way (with corrupt words), but this way (with words that bring benefit, grace).

By the way, remember that my use of Facebook in these posts is applies to all forms of social networking that you may use.

Facebook, then, gives you these two options:  you can leave a trail of rotten communication that points directly back to you, or you can leave a trail of words, comments and thoughts that point directly to Christ and his mercy. Which trail would you like to create? This is a question that you may not ignore. God commands you to do all things for his glory, to add to his reputation.  

So how, specifically, can your communication on Facebook be a benefit to others?

The first thing to remember is that if your words are faithful to God and his word, they will be helpful to others. Social networking presents an opportunity to impact others each day with thoughts that bring honor to your Savior.  How cool is that? Please don’t think of this as a formal ministry. Rather, think of these opportunities in the spirit of Deuteronomy 6:4-7. Wherever you go in cyberspace you have the opportunity to talk about how good God is. When things are difficult He is faithful. When you experience joy and delight it is because of the mercy of God. God is at work in his world, but our tendency is to ignore the hand of God and act as if it is only other people that make things happen. Many of the people who are a part of your extended friend network may not know God. You have the privilege of presenting short, helpful comments about how you are blown away by your God. You can demonstrate knowing his comfort in difficulty by simply commenting that you are glad that God knows what he is doing with a troubled world. So being faithful to God is being faithful to others.

Secondly, you can recall the wisdom of the Proverbs. Sometimes less is more. A wise man uses words with restraint. Short, pointed comments will more likely be read and thought about than long ones. A brief expression of comfort in God’s providence may actually provoke a discussion from someone who wants to understand your comfort in a challenging circumstance.

Next, you can be helpful by being truthful and factual. Don’t pass on speculation and become part of a chain of gossip that leads to the destruction of others. Remember Proverbs 18:17 in this light. Don’t be afraid to challenge how someone knows about some titillating tidbit of data.

Lastly, be pleasant and encouraging. You have much to rejoice about as a child of God. Your pleasant words can be a sweet honeycomb that attracts others to the truth of God and his gospel.

Much more could be said about helpful communication on Facebook. However, if you start with these four principles you will have an excellent base to build on and be a blessing to others. To sum up, these four principles are:

        1) Be faithful to God and you will be faithful to others.
        2) Be brief.
        3) Be truthful and factual.
        4) Be pleasant and encouraging.

Implementing these principles may take some rethinking, but they will serve you well, not only in social networking but in all of your communication. With apologies to John Piper, Don’t Waste Your Facebook!

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3&4

Facebook began in a college dorm room at Harvard in February 2004. Since then, the Facebook community has grown to over 140 million active users. Facebook describes itself as a social utility that helps people communicate more efficiently with their friends, family and coworkers. Efficient communication indeed! The Facebook Factsheet reports that 2.6 billion minutes are spent on Facebook each day worldwide. These are impressive numbers, both in terms of people and in time spent.

For Christians, it is important to categorize Facebook activity in biblical terminology. Because Facebook and other similar activities take place in the online world, it is easy to think that biblical guidelines don’t apply as long as one is not engaging in obvious sin. But the Facebook founders have helpfully done the categorizing for us. Facebook is about communication – something that the Bible thoroughly addresses.  James states the issue clearly:

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. James 3:9-10

Communication, in and of itself, is intended to be a good thing. But as James says, the issue for Christians is the content of the communication. With Facebook, fingers are doing the work of the tongue. Instead of words flowing from your mouth they are sent from your keyboard. The important thing is that communication is taking place. And for people who have been purchased by the precious blood of Christ and given a new life with a spectacular inheritance, even casual communication is a big deal. Why? Because your communication either enhances the reputation of God or it seeks to enhance your own. As the apostle Paul says, whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

Now we have a biblical platform upon which to construct an understanding of Facebook and the other online social utilities. Let's look at some specifics. The first thing one is asked when logging on to Facebook is what are you doing right now? You are supposed to tell all of the people in your social network what you are doing. The Facebook Factsheet says that the average user has 100 friends on the site. So, by answering this question, you are telling at least 100 people what you are doing. Often times, the question is answered with a description of one's current emotional state–for example, Joe is sad or bummed. It is one thing to have a momentary private thought to yourself, it is quite another to express that thought to a hundred or more people without considering how your words will cause people to think about God.

Paul challenges you to consider others more significant than yourself. One way to do this is to buy into Paul’s direction in Ephesians 4:29 to speak only what is helpful to build others up according to their needs. This is the perfect complement to "looking to the interests of others." Taken positively, each status update on Facebook is an opportunity to communicate the faithfulness of God to potentially hundreds of people. Every opportunity to write on someone’s wall is an opportunity to share the riches of God’s daily care for you. People oftentimes say that they have do not have occasion to be a witness to the wonder of God to others. Well, Facebook provides that opportunity. So, instead of saying in a status update today was a bad day at work or school, you can say something like, it is has been a tough day, but God is there for me. In this way at least 100 hundred people (for many Facebook users, hundreds of people) will know of God’s faithfulness to you. You don’t have to quote catechism questions or list multiple verses to make the point. A simple expression of your awareness of God’s constant love for you can enhance his reputation to others.

If you use social networking as a chance to "be yourself" and vent or sound off or be down about life, you make Facebook all about you. This is what Paul is warning the Philippians not to do. For Paul, life was not about him, it was about Christ. If you really believe that the God is in control of the world and your life, but you fail to acknowledge that reality by making negative, discouraged updates, then you make yourself too important. In effect, you consider your assessment of things to be more valuable than God’s assessment. This also applies to the things you praise: things like being glad your team won or that you are glad to be home or that you can’t wait for the weekend. If such things are all you ever say, who will ever observe any appreciation of God's presence in your life? Who will understand that God, his providence and his word are the reasons for your joy?

The world wants to be the center of your life. There is a popular country song by Kenny Chesney that says that everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to go now.  Communities like Facebook can and do promote this fascination with the world. Life is about me. This is, in one sense, despising the gift of God to you. Making the world the most important thing, saying what you feel at the moment, without regard to God’s involvement in your life, is, in effect, despising God’s provision. It is ignoring the intercessory work of Christ and the blessings guaranteed by the promise of the Spirit.  We all succumb to this temptation at times, and, by God's grace, fight against it; but we should be aware that when we despise God's grace on Facebook, we have a large audience, and this worldview is pleasing to Satan. Don't forget what is real. Your God neither slumbers nor sleeps. You are always held by his right hand. Don’t be caught up in the word’s delusion that life is about you and how you feel at the moment.

You are engaged in warfare. You are to take every thought captive for Christ. This certainly applies to Facebook. 

As James says, communication can bring honor or dishonor to God. Rethink the way you are involved in social networking. Help your children to see that Facebook is a providential opportunity to talk to many others about the wonder of God in everyday language. It is a way to speak of reality from God’s perspective in the midst of your own life experiences.

In the next post we will look more closely at how to say things that are helpful. Let me know your thoughts.

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3&4

Facebook, MySpace, blogs , online communities, texting – these are things that were virtually unknown a decade ago. Today our lives, as well as our children’s lives, are dominated by Internet-enabled communities. The use of language has changed as well. There is a cyber vocabulary that is unique to the electronic world. Letter groups such as lol, ttyl, and np, form a modern shorthand that allows for an almost instant transmission of moods, thoughts and plans across cities, states and continents. People write on electronic walls to announce when and what they are eating, what the weather is, and how they feel about it. Amazing! Prior to this new age of cyber community, one would not think of phoning, or even emailing, a friend in another state to announce that they had just put the kids to bed and are now watching the 11 o’clock news. But now, thanks to Facebook, dozens, if not hundreds of folks—many of whom you don’t even know—are aware of these kind of details about your life. And, of course, your children are also likely to be citizens of cyberspace, or they soon will be. Therefore, it is appropriate to ask what biblical principles intersect with 21st century electronic information transfer? You have to admit it is a stretch to think of Paul texting Timothy to bring him the parchments so that he can post them on his blog.

However, there are biblical principles to guide you and your children as you venture into the virtual world. These principles cover all of the major types of online communications, but for the sake of brevity I’ll just make direct application to Facebook. I believe there are at least three overriding principles that can serve as safe guides for children and their parents. These are:
     ∙  consider others more significant than yourself;
     ∙  communicate only what will build others up;
and most importantly
     ∙  do all of your communicating realizing that since you belong to Christ, your communications involve his reputation as well as your own.

The point is not simply to avoid evil content in electronic communication, but to actually use these principles to bring honor to Christ while interacting virtually. Ah, someone is saying, where is the fun in that? Which is, of course, the point. Psalm 139 and  121, Proverbs 5:21 and I Corinthians 10:31 all teach that Christians are always in the presence of God, that he knows our deepest thoughts continually, and that with our minds and mouths and fingers we are to bring honor to him in all the things that we do. We never cease being in relationship with God. His Spirit dwells within us! This point is foundational to each of the three principles we will examine together in upcoming posts. Online communities such as Facebook provide a transparent view into your life. But do you stop and think that you and all of those participating in this virtual world with you are also even more transparent to God? Like many other things, Facebook provides the opportunity to enjoy your relationship with Christ as you interact with others. The more you delight in your relationship with Christ, the more you can bring honor to him as you participate online.

Give this some thought and let me know what you think. We will look at the first principle of considering others to be more significant than you in the next post.