Communicating the Gospel, God’s Goodness to your school age children

For example, in the 0 to 5 range, children are totally dependent upon their parents, so while a 9-month baby is very different from her 4–year-old brother, they are both dependent upon parents for everything. If the infant receives no parental care she cannot survive. The four-year-old, though more able to cope, still depends on his parents for survival.

The childhood range marks a great transition in terms of dependency. Five-year-olds are still relatively dependent upon their parents for everything. Twelve-year-olds, while often immature, are at a point where they could begin to survive on their own. And, of course, teenagers grow from wanting to be on their own to being actually able to go and do whatever they choose. More importantly, this same developmental pattern applies to spiritual growth as well.

In this post we are moving backward, from the teenage years to the childhood years. We began with teenagers to show the final goal: all that is done in the years leading up to the teen years should point towards building a relationship in which open communication about God and the life situations teenagers face can take place between parent and teen.

What is the goal during the childhood years, then? The focus during childhood is on the heart. The goal is to see Christian character, e.g. the fruit of the Spirit, begin to take root in your children. These posts are focusing on the particulars of communicating the goodness of God, the gospel, to your children. Once again, how you speak to your children is important. If the knowledge of God is pleasant to you, how do you show this to your children? Let’s listen in on another conversation.

Bethany, we have a lot to do this afternoon.

Yes, Mom.

Bethany, don’t start with Yes Mom, in that discouraged tone. We have to hurry and get the house clean for company, pick up Justin’s toys AND make sure you finish your school work before our guests come for dinner in just two hours. Don’t even think about taking a break or using the computer for fun. And while I’m at it, you need to do a better job of cleaning your room. I don’t know how I am going to get everything done.

But, Mom, this is a lot of work. Justin’s toys are all over the place and I have a LOT of school work.

     Bethany, how many times have I told you that God says we must not complain? This is a great opportunity for you to practice diligence. Right now, I just need to focus and I can’t do that if you don’t get to work. Now, any questions? Good.

What does Bethany think about mom's attitude? If her mom regularly talks to to her daughter this way, she is not preparing the way for open communication about trusting God in the teenage years. The pleasantness of knowing God should be evident even in these “pressured” situations. It is one thing to be excited about the gospel on Sunday. It is quite another to be excited about the gospel on Thursday when the house is a mess and company is coming. Remember, relationships are about more than meeting schedules. How might this conversation sound when mom has an agenda for reaching the heart.

Bethany, would you come inside, please?

Sure, Mom, what’s up?

Well, I let the time get away from me. We have company coming tonight and there is a lot to do. I know you have school work, but I could really use your help. If you can’t get finished, I’ll make sure you have some time after dinner. Justin has been all over the house today and he has toys everywhere. That’s what happens when I get too focused on other things. So, I’d like you to help me make a big push here.

Mom, that’s fine. This is what you have been talking with me about isn’t it, being willing to change plans to help others.

Exactly, sweetheart. I appreciate your help. Let’s take just a moment to pray and ask God for strength and a pleasant spirit as we work together.

Again, much has been going on behind the scenes. Mom openly acknowledges that she could have done better managing the time.  She is also recognizing that Bethany has a valuable contribution to make and lets her know it. Mom’s tone is even but direct. She acknowledges Bethany's school work and gives her a way to get it done. Most importantly, she takes time to ask God for help. Mom is relying on previous conversations with Bethany about being flexible in order to serve others. She is laying the ground work to a solid relationship with her daughter for the years ahead. She is not manipulative or pushy, but grateful. While these things may seem small, they are huge in communicating the goodness of God in a potentially stressful situation.

In the next post we will take a look at toddlers and young children and how to show the goodness of God to them.