This is the third and last post in this series on what to
say to your children when someone close to them dies. The topic of death is challenging.
But as Christians, we should not fear talking about it. Jesus Christ has won
the victory over death. Our children must see that we have the faith and
courage to actually live out this reality. This is the test of whether we live
by faith or by sight. Our children know the difference. In order to comfort our
children we must experience comfort ourselves. This is Paul's message in his
second letter to the Corinthians.
Praise be to the God and Father of
our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who
comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble
with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. --2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Paul writes as one who has known the comfort of God. He himself
has received comfort. Therefore, he is able to bring comfort to others. So,
parents, you too must know the comfort of God. You must not believe the lies of
the culture about death. You must be firmly grounded in God's view of death. It
is impossible to live as if this world really matters most and then make a sudden
transition to thinking and acting biblically when something as disturbing as an
unexpected death occurs. We can prepare for such unexpected events only by having God's
thoughts in our hearts day by day. That is one of the practical benefits of
faithfully following Deuteronomy 6 and daily imparting the things of God. 0o
your children.
One passage that is very helpful when there are unexpected,
life dominating events is Psalm 46. This psalm doesn't pull any punches. It
acknowledges how devastating life can be, but it also acknowledges how total
the comfort of God is for his people. Let's take a look at some key verses in
the psalm.
1
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
This truth is reality for the psalmist. He truly believes
this. Paul is expressing a similar thought in 2 Corinthians, and that truth must
be your bottom line belief. That is where your heart must reside each day. Now,
look at verses 2-3:
Therefore
we will not fear, though the earth give way
and
the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though
its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
While these words obviously apply to natural disasters, they
apply even more powerfully to the emotional impact of an unexpected life
dominating event. When an expected death occurs it does feel like the earth has
given way--it is an emotional earthquake. But notice that the psalmist says that
because God is his refuge he will not fear, even in the face of tragedy. This
is the truth of verse 7:
The LORD Almighty is with us;
the
God of Jacob is our fortress.
God is his fortress. God is with him. He is living by faith.
Even though devastating troubles have occurred, God is his refuge and strength.
While this kind of faith will not change events or take away deep hurt, God is
there to bring comfort and strength. God is our refuge and strength. Your
strong belief in these realities--your reliance on God's strength--can and will
be a source of comfort to your children in troubling times. This is also true
for those of you who are pastors or youth workers. Your genuine faith in the
God of Psalm 46 can bring comfort to those who need the comfort that only God
can give.
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This post is very timely! My kids just lost their grandfather last week. I do not believe that he knew Christ. Any advice on dealing with this would be helpful and appreciated.