Midlife: A Portrait #2

Lost in the Middle delves deeply into this treasure relationship within the heart. Parent, what you don’t want to miss is that the same issues apply to your children. Listen to Paul Tripp’s thoughts about personal interpretations from page 50 of this book.

This understanding of life’s events “…is really rooted in the way people interpret the things that they see. In fact, it is more powerful than that. Their interpretations actually determine what they see and how they see it. As sinners, the problem with our interpretations is that they tend to be narrow and selective. Remember, sin not only affects what we do; it also affects what we think and how we see. In ways that we often don’t notice, sin reduces all of us to fools. The way that seems right to us can lead to death, and the way that makes no sense to us is often the way of life and wisdom. That is why we all need the wise perspectives of God’s Word. Midlife crisis is powerfully theological. It all balances on the fundamental ways we make sense out of life. It is all about how our functional systems of belief shape the way we respond to whatever God puts on our plate.”

These words are challenging for those in midlife and you can begin to see how they apply to the difficulties people face. However, these same truths apply to your children. Adults are not the only folks whose sins color their life interpretations. The Bible tells us that your children were born sinners. This means that their interpretations tend also to be narrow and selective. Actually, children’s interpretations are even more narrow and selective than adults’ because their life experiences are so limited. But the central issue driving these interpretations is still sin. This is why selfish behavior may often be expressed so powerfully in a child.

Paul says sin not only affects what we do; it also affects what we think and how we see. Stay with me on this one. In the last post I talked about a young boy being upset that his younger brother has a toy that he wants. Because he was born a sinner he may be unhappy, even angry, that he does not have that toy. So, not only is the boy going to be showing anger by yelling or pouting, his whole interpretation of life is (for this moment, at least) screaming that a terrible injustice has taken place. He deserves to have that toy!

His world at that moment is colored by his interpretation that he has been wronged. Now imagine a parent who comes into the room and sharply tells this boy that screaming about not having a toy is wrong. Furthermore, the child may be disciplined for screaming. But the scream is only the symptom. The real problem is a horribly flawed personal interpretation of the events of his world. Discipline that addresses only the scream or only the pouting or only the anger misses the mark. This is why parenting must be gospel based. Parent, you must point your children to Christ and his word to address the problem of these wrong interpretations. Asking God to renew this child’s heart is the only way to change his self-serving interpretation and worldview. On the day-to-day level you must not focus on stopping the screaming only. Your focus must be on bringing your child to the Person who can help him to know new treasures.

Let me know your thoughts.