The goal of biblical parenting is to address children's
behavior at the level of the heart. The heart is the source of behavior, so if
true, lasting change is to occur, the heart must be impacted by the parents'
teaching and discipline. It is possible, though, for you to focus on the heart
issues of your children but not deal honestly with your own heart. Perhaps that is the reason that getting to
heart issues with children is sometimes so elusive--you yourself are not
parenting from the heart.
In the last post we talked about euphemisms and how they can
keep you from knowing the full power of God's restorative grace in your life.
One reality of life that is essential for parents to understand and internalize
is that sin will be with us as long as we are on this earth. In one sense, we
will never be free of sin in this life. Yes, we can make progress. Yes, we can
know victory over an angry spirit or other sinful behavior. But pride is always
there. Pride is constantly tugging at you to suggest that you can succeed without
God's help. Pride catches you by surprise with its attacks. It is subtle. It
plays on your weaknesses. When you feel overwhelmed and think that you just
can't go on, pride is doing its work. The enemy wants you to rely on your own
strength and to focus on the unfairness of life. The enemy wants you to feel
alone and abandoned. This is the mission of pride: to separate you from loving
and relying upon God and his power for your life.
It is easy to think that pride in parenting means that you think
of yourself as Super Parent - the parent who can do everything with ease and
leap over all of life's problems in a single effortless bound. Yes, that is
pride. But pride is also being so discouraged and down that you believe there
is no hope at all. In despair you think that you and you alone are left to handle
the kids, your spouse, and all of the struggles and failures of life. What are
you thinking!? God has promised that he will never leave you or forsake you!
God has promised that he will give wisdom and strength if you only ask. It is
pride that persuades you that you are alone and doomed to failure.Easter--Resurrection
Day--means that the power of the cross not only freed you from your sin and the
wrath of God, but also that you have God's power available as you live every
day doing what he has given you to do. Pride robs you of that comforting power
of God. Pride causes brokenness over sin to lead to discouragement, disillusionment,
and weakness. Knowing humility at the cross causes brokenness to lead to a
heart that is contrite and renewed. As David says in Psalm 51:17 "The
sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you
will not despise." When you are broken over your sin, pride whispers in your
heart God does despise you, you have failed, why bother? You'll never
change. There is no hope. When you agree with these thoughts you disparage
the work of Christ on your behalf. You have taken matters into your own hands.
God's way is to see contriteness as the path to knowing the power of the cross
in your life.
We will look at this idea more in the next post. Give some
thought to ways that pride might be masquerading as discouragement in your life
as a parent. Let me know your thoughts. There is real hope in the power of the
Cross, the true message of Easter.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:8-12 NIV
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"But pride is also being so discouraged and down that you believe there is no hope at all."
That sentence really struck me as I read this post. I've struggled lately with my almost-5 year old, because I just can't understand what heart issues are driving some of her behavior problems, so I don't know how to address them. And I've struggled with a lack of obedience from my 2 year old. And I've struggled with frustration with my own responses to them. Top that off with a newborn who doesn't like sleep. So this post was a wonderful reminder to me to stop trying to do it all on my own! I need to remember that God will give me the strength and wisdom I need. Thank you for the reminder!
This is a post that is so timely for me. I have really been struggling with discouragement as a parent and I have failed to see that is is a tool of pride that the enemy uses. How the enemy loves to make us pity ourselves! But we have the power of the Almighty on our side! Friends, do not grow weary! Thank you, Jay, for rallying us!