God calls you to be shepherds, not enforcers.

Posted on August 27, 2014 · Posted in Discipline

The deceitfulness of the world, the flesh, and the devil entices us to feel good about our anger. So when a child, a teenager, a spouse, or a friend crosses an arbitrary line we feel totally justified in letting them “have it.” We cover our sin by saying, “I know I shouldn’t be angry, but sometimes you just have to say enough is enough.” 


This sort of language and rationalization will receive a hearty Amen from the Satanic cheering section. We think we have been strong, when in fact we have taken the coward’s way out and capitulated.  We do what seems right at the moment.


Parents, God calls you to be shepherds, not enforcers. You may feel regret at your anger, but until you repent and embrace the role of a servant / shepherd you will be aiding and abetting the enemy.


Letting someone “have it” is easy. It requires not courage, but pride, to let loose and give others what you foolishly think they deserve. This is why love is the most effective weapon in fighting for the spiritual lives of your children. 


Ephesians 4:31& 32 are seldom used as parenting guidelines. This is unfortunate. There is a powerful put off / put on dynamic in these verses to help shepherd your children towards Christ. 


4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 


4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.


Don’t capitulate!  Join the war of love waged by the power of the Spirit of God and led by our King, Jesus Christ!

Jay Younts
Jay Younts is the Shepherd Press blogger. He is the author of Everyday Talk and other materials on parenting. He has been teaching and speaking on parenting issues for 30 years. Jay and his wife, Ruth, live in Fountain Inn, South Carolina. He serves as a ruling elder at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Moore, South Carolina. He and Ruth have five adult children.