Jessica’s Decision

Posted on June 19, 2014 · Posted in Culture, Teenagers, Wisdom

Fifteen-year old Jessica is a good student and popular with teachers and students. One day a teacher notices that Jessica seems down. She asks Jessica if she can help and Jessica shrugs her shoulders and walks off.

Later in the day, this same teacher again sees that Jessica is still down. She puts her arm around her and walks with her to one of Jessica’s favorite teachers, a guidance counselor who also happens to teach the health class on sexuality. Together, they ask Jessica why she is so down.

Jessica opens up.

She tells the teachers that she thinks she is ready to have sex with her boyfriend. She tells the teachers that she and her boyfriend both went through the class on sexuality – last year for him and this year for her. She said that she is discouraged because both her mother and her father think it is a bad idea. She said her mom has recently started going to some church and is really against her having sex before marriage.

Both teachers tell Jessica that they think she should listen to her parents and that it is a good idea to wait at least for awhile. Jessica says she has thought a lot about having sex and she is sure she is ready. Most of her friends are sexually active and between the class on sexuality at school and doing research at the government’s website, she feels ready to take responsibility for her actions. She tells the teachers that she and her boyfriend will use protection and that she has just bought the Plan B pill as extra insurance to make sure she does not get pregnant. She is convinced that this is her decision to make and not her mom’s. Her boyfriend’s parents will support whatever she and their son decide.

The teachers attempt to dissuade Jessica again, but then they tell her it is ultimately her decision to make. They commend her for taking the necessary precautions for taking responsibility. One even says that she wishes she had been this responsible when she was Jessica’s age. Jessica tells them thank you and says she feels better. They each give Jessica a hug and say goodbye.

Your daughter is one of Jessica’s closest friends. Have you prepared her to expect that at least some of her friends will make decisions like Jessica’s? Does your daughter have the wisdom skills necessary to honor God and guard her heart in this type of situation?

Jessica’s situation is not unusual. Our culture has shifted its expectations to the point where Jessica’s desire for sexual activity is considered normal and healthy. Parents, are you ready to talk freely and naturally with your children about God, sex and marriage? 

It is not enough to say that premarital sex is wrong and don’t do it! You must also be able to engage in conversations about why purity is a blessing. 

Jay Younts
Jay Younts is the Shepherd Press blogger. He is the author of Everyday Talk and other materials on parenting. He has been teaching and speaking on parenting issues for 30 years. Jay and his wife, Ruth, live in Fountain Inn, South Carolina. He serves as a ruling elder at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Moore, South Carolina. He and Ruth have five adult children.