The lie of safe sex

Posted on March 30, 2016 · Posted in Culture, Wisdom, Worldview


Safe sex outside of marriage is a deadly oxymoron. There is nothing safe about any sexual activity outside of marriage! Extramarital sex, portrayed as liberating and full of pleasure is toxic quicksand. Episodes of pleasure and excitement are stupidly exchanged for a life of worry, insecurity and physical danger. Within one generation, the slide into immorality has gone from, “can I get her to kiss me on the first date,” to “can I …,” you can fill in the blank.

With one look David plunged his life, his family, his kingdom into sickening darkness. Jesus recalls this dark moment in the Sermon on the Mount:
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:27-28

David thought he could have safe sex with Bathsheba. Her husband was away at war. Then she became pregnant. David didn’t panic, safe sex was still possible. He recalled Bathsheba’s husband from the front and assumed that Uriah would take advantage of the pleasures of being with his beautiful wife. The only problem was that Uriah was a man of integrity. He would not indulge himself while his men slept in cold damp tents. David still had a plan. He arranged for the death of Uriah, safe sex was still possible. David’s actions were an indication of just far people will go to protect their passions. Only today it is the children of the womb who are murdered to ensure the sanctity of safe sex.

As Romans says, the truth of God has been exchanged for a lie. A couple, using contraceptives, may prevent sexually transmitted disease or a pregnancy. In the short-term this seems like a good thing. But what they don’t realize is that their very souls are laid bare to be ravaged by lies, deceit, insecurity and disease. They are damaged with wounds that may never heal.  They realize too late, the fleeting enticements of self-pleasure or emotional escape are anything but safe. Divorce and spousal abuse are rampant, and abortions are considered to be a necessary part of life. This is the grim harvest of safe sex.

Our culture teaches that you can have sex anyway, anytime you want to. Safe, protected sex outside of marriage is an urban legend, a hideous lie that waits to devour your children. Christian, have the courage to tell your children the truth about what constitutes sex that is safe. The marriage bed alone is the one place where sex is truly protected and is truly safe.


Jay Younts
Jay Younts is the Shepherd Press blogger. He is the author of Everyday Talk and other materials on parenting. He has been teaching and speaking on parenting issues for 30 years. Jay and his wife, Ruth, live in Fountain Inn, South Carolina. He serves as a ruling elder at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Moore, South Carolina. He and Ruth have five adult children.