Struggles in relationships just don’t happen, they come from somewhere. If you think the cause of relational problems lies primarily in other people, think again.
James 3 talks about 2 kinds of wisdom: wisdom from below and wisdom from above. One leads to discord, jealousy, fights, etc. The other leads to peace. James urges you and me to desire and practice wisdom that comes from above. Look at verse 17:
But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.
Let’s break this down. Wisdom from above is:
Here pure means a single minded purpose. Wisdom from above wants what God wants. This means motives are not mixed. This wisdom is not self-serving.
This means a genuine desire for peace, not looking for the opportunity to simply make things quiet and calm.
Gentleness means responding with the strength of force that is appropriate. Pleasant words will be more helpful than words that are angry and upset.
Open to reason
This is a big one! Do those in your family believe that you truly listen to them? Do they believe you really want to know what they have to say? Or do they think you are just going through a checklist and that you won’t change no matter what they say?
Full of mercy and good fruits
Do you demonstrate the mercy of Christ? Do you genuinely have the best interests of others at heart? Does you family think you are more interested in rules than you are in them?
Impartial and sincere
Is your only interest to honor God? Do you play favorites, including making decisions that work out best for you?
You can’t control the actions of others, but you are always in control of how you respond! This is wisdom from above. Bring God’s wisdom to the daily life of your family.
Where do the struggles, fights, and quarrels come from? To bring peace, the first step is to practice wisdom from above.