When anger feels right, you know it’s wrong

Posted on June 9, 2016 · Posted in Anger


When your husband is insensitive, when the kids are selfish and squabble constantly, when your wife is disrespectful, anger stands ready to come to your defense. When others are not helpful anger is there to encourage you. When your pride is wounded, anger offers its healing power of retribution.

When anger is embraced, God is cast aside.

But what about righteous anger? That’s always the trap. Paul says in Ephesians 4:26 that in your anger you should not sin. So, since it is possible to be angry and not sin, it easy to welcome anger like a friendly ally when others sin against us. But Ephesians 4:26 is not all that Paul has to say about anger. Just 5 verses later he commands that we must get rid of all anger! Is Paul contradicting himself?

No, he is not. Anger does have its place, but that place is not in personal satisfaction. Man’s anger does not build relationships. James says your anger will not lead to the righteous life that God desires. When anger leads to self-justification for sinful responses, it is never a good thing. Righteous anger will always lead to constructive, biblical action, not frustration, bitterness, or unkind words.

Paul says that you must be clothed in kindness and compassion towards others. You must follow the example of Christ. Anger will be of no help here. This is why he says to get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger. These relational traits will keep you from showing the love of Christ to those whom you love. It will drive them away from you regardless of your intentions.

Ask this one question when anger offers its assistance you: 
“Am I showing the kindness and compassion of Christ to those whom I love?” Instead of engaging in anger, show the compassionate love of Christ when you think others fail you.

Return good for evil.

A soft answer turns away wrath.
A harsh, angry word stirs things up.
God is patient with you when you sin against him. If God treated you as your sins deserve, you would not survive another minute!

Take another look at Ephesians 4:31-32. Anger is not your friend. It is a tool of the enemy to damage your relationships with those you love most. Listen carefully to Paul. Get rid of your anger!

When anger feels right, you know that it’s wrong.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32

Help! My Anger is Out of Control

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Jay Younts
Jay Younts is the Shepherd Press blogger. He is the author of Everyday Talk and other materials on parenting. He has been teaching and speaking on parenting issues for 30 years. Jay and his wife, Ruth, live in Fountain Inn, South Carolina. He serves as a ruling elder at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Moore, South Carolina. He and Ruth have five adult children.