One complaint that is shared by many fathers is that they are not respected. Some fathers think that family life would be better if they were shown a little more respect. However, respect is not a personal entitlement! It is true that God’s people are commanded to respect those that God has placed in authority over them. Fathers meet that qualification. But there is also another component of respect. Respect is best won by action. Hear what Hebrews says about respecting fathers: Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! Hebrews 12:9 This tells us that fathers were respected because they were […]
Monthly Archives: June 2013
33 posts
One way to gauge the effectiveness of your parenting is by the questions your children ask you. You want to be asked good questions. This is an important goal of parenting that is often overlooked. When you need help with a problem, do you look for answers from any random person? Someone next to you at the gas pump, perhaps? The answer is obvious. You ask the people whom you trust and respect. Young children ask parents seemingly endless questions. They do this, in part, because parents are the center of their world. There is no one that means more to them than mom and dad. Asking questions is a sign of respect and appreciation. Be thankful. As a parent, […]
The overriding principle is that authority is for building up. 2 Corinthians 13:10 says: This is why I write these things when I am absent, that when I come I may not have to be harsh in my use of authority–the authority the Lord gave me for building you up, not for tearing you down. Note the important qualifier: authority is to be used to build up. This cannot mean a random, harsh use of authority that leaves behind a trail of discouragement and disillusion. This is the kind of authority that leaves behind a reaction like this: “I’m really glad Dad spoke to me about that; I really needed his help.” If your wife or children seldom have this […]
Fathers are in the instruction business–the business of instructing their children to live obediently for the glory of God. Our culture has come to scoff at and even disdain this notion. Parents, and fathers in particular, are seen more as caregivers than as leaders charged with the responsibility of building lives. Words like leadership and accountability don’t sit well in today’s politically correct world. In this world everything must be done for the child in order to serve the child. According to this view, parents must provide care for their children while being careful not to contaminate their minds with stuff about authority and religion. If fathers are relegated to the role of caregiver, then someone else has to be […]
Holidays that focus on family relationships draw more attention with each passing year – some of it good and some not so good. As we pointed out with Mother’s Day, Father’s Day is not a pleasant day for many. Everyone has a father. That much is obvious. The problem comes when Father’s Day becomes a one-size-fits-all event. Everyone has a different life-experience regarding having a Father, being a father or not being a father. Many are blown away by the faithful sacrifice of their dads. Sadly, many are also devastated by their fathers. There are men who are thrilled with the joy of being a father. There are others who are not. There are still others who long to be […]
Strength when you need it – a prayer for weary fathers: O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights? Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not […]
Fathers you have a choice. You can lead your children with the grace of God’s word and Spirit or you can provoke them to anger. Things become unclear when fathers gauge the success of their leadership on the immediate responses of their children. The fruit of the gospel, that is the fruit of the Spirit, is not produced overnight. You child may obey because he is a people pleaser or is afraid of what might happen if he doesn’t. Your goal must not be compliance. If it is, then one day you will be surprised by an angry child who will seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. God wants you to use his instructions, given with his motivations, and […]
Deuteronomy 6 is not about truth being communicated through some disconnected mouthpiece. God’s truth must be life for mom and dad if it is to be life for the children. “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength” (Deut. 6:4–5). Our love for God is the foundation for anything we have to say. We cannot impress our children with the fame of God’s name if we are not impressed with him ourselves. If the truths about God’s sovereign power and incredible mercy have melted our hearts and produced a profound love for God, we will impress our children […]
Thirteen-year old Jessica is a good student and popular with teachers and students. Her parents have been divorced for several years. Both of her parents have not remarried and handle the visitation settlement reasonably well with Jessica and her two younger brothers. One day a teacher notices that Jessica seems down. She asks Jessica If she can help and Jessica shrugs her shoulders and walks off. Later in the day, this same teacher again sees that Jessica is still down. She puts her arm around her and walks with her to one of Jessica’s favorite teachers, a guidance counselor who also happens to teach the health class on sexuality. Together, they ask Jessica why she is so down. Jessica opens […]
Children need instruction to apply Scripture to issues of authority, obedience, conflict resolution, and God-given roles in relationships. Everyday life affords scores of opportunities to connect Scripture to life—from lost book-bags to broken friendships and poor test grades. Scores of training opportunities evaporate without notice as we hurry through our days thinking that devotional time with our children is enough. Our responses to the circumstances and crises of everyday life make our theology real. Bible stories glow with illustrations of children whose knowledge of Scripture translated into obedient, bold action. David’s words to Saul sound naïve and childish in the face of the Philistine army and the terrifying threats of Goliath, “Let no one lose heart on account of this […]