Monthly Archives: January 2019

12 posts

Help Your Teenagers Know the Bible is True

You tell your teenagers that they should live as the Bible says they should. The problem is that from almost any other source that they hear, the Bible is antiquated, exclusive and factually not true.  Here are some truths that speak to this challenge: God gave man his words through the direction, inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Man then expressed these words accurately, in his own voice, under the supervision of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit directed the collection of these inspired writings so that they became the Bible we have now. This, in short form, is what the Bible teaches about how it was inspired, written, and complied. However, this makes no sense if your teenager doesn’t believe […]

The Process: From Complaining to Slavery

Fourteen-year-old Louis is moody. He constantly complains any time he is not absorbed in his screens. His parents fear for the things he might be viewing when no one is watching. It seems like it has been weeks since anyone has seen him smile. How did this happen? What needs to happen? The immediate, expected response is to demand his screens from him and require him to stop being so grumpy and moody. This plan may attain some temporary relief. But it will not address the real reason for his sin and unhappiness. If the  focus is only on his wrong and unhelpful actions, it will miss reaching his heart and actually encourage him towards  even deeper struggles and sins […]

Three Ways To Not Love Your Children 

The Apostle Paul in I Corinthians 13:5 exposes three patterns that are the enemy of  loving your children. These patterns bring anger, frustration and brokenness. They are also connected; one leads to the other. Let’s look at each one: Love is not self-seeking It is foolish to assume that what pleases you and what pleases God are one and the same. For example, do you want a house that is quiet and orderly? Why? Because that is pleasant to you? Or do you want a house full of energy and exuberance? Again, why? If your goal is to satisfy your own preferences and personality, you are not setting an example of love. The goals you set for your home must […]

Freedom From Fear

The eighth chapter of Romans provides a sure hope for conquering fear. The strong, yet tender, words of the Holy Spirit provide hope and encouragement when fears arise in your life or the life of your children. There is no fear that you have that cannot be conquered by God’s power at work in you!  As Hebrews 11:1 says, “faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” The greatest fear anyone can have is the condemnation of God. But in Christ, there is no condemnation. Confront your fear with this truth. You do not have to be controlled by fear. Apply the hope and encouragement of this wonderful chapter to help […]

I Don’t Like Correction!

I don’t like correction. There I said it. I like to be right. More importantly, I like it even more when you think I am right.  By admitting these things I have also shown a propensity for stupidity. This is but another reminder of the danger of being wise in my own eyes. If I care most about being right, I care most about myself. This desire to be right is destructive to relationships, especially relationships in families. This is not wisdom but stupidity.  If I am to learn, I must first love discipline and rebuke. When I recoil at the correction and rebuke of those closest to me, I make myself weak. Instead of trying to find a way […]

Note to Parents: Sin Is a Process

“How many times have I told you not to do that?!?” “Stop doing that, right now!” “Why can’t you obey and do just this one thing?” “You know that you are not supposed to do that!” “If I hear you say that one more time!!” “One thing, why can’t you do just this one thing?!?” Do these statements sound familiar?  They are uttered, muttered, shouted and pouted when your child just doesn’t seem to get the point: why can’t she just obey! They are statements of frustration and vexation. The focus is on stopping or changing a particular action. But is the particular act of disobedience the real core of the problem? Actually, this focus on stopping a particular act […]

Anger: The Enemy of Loving Communication 

Your teenager is talking to you. You hear his words but they really don’t sink in. You are frustrated with him because he won’t do his chores and he is being disrespectful. He is actually trying to tell why things are hard for him. You are focused on not being visibly angry and attempting to act like you are listening to him but your hidden anger drowns out his words. Trying to act like you are not angry will not rescue you from the trap of anger.  Anger builds a toxic barrier between you and your son. This danger is easy to see if there are patterns of yelling and angry outbursts. However, holding the anger in may appear less obvious, […]

What About Tomorrow?

Are you obsessed with tomorrow? People assume that tomorrow will come. However, there is no guarantee that tomorrow will actually happen. Even if tomorrow does come, there is nothing that you can do to control the events of tomorrow or the impact they will have on your life. Yes, you can and should be responsible with the choices you make today.  But there is no way to control or predict what will happen tomorrow. Still, thoughts of tomorrow dominate our plans, our thinking, our worries and our hopes. Jesus puts tomorrow in proper perspective. Your well-being for today and the arrival of tomorrow is connected to the purpose and plan of God. Here is what Jesus says (Luke 12:25-26): Who […]

Mercy Or Fairness

Fairness is a cruel master. To desire fairness is to live like a fool, to live has if there were no God. Wait! What? Think about it! Where would you and I be if God treated us fairly? Does God ever have a reason to be fair with me? In pride, I want to say yes. I don’t deserve unfair treatment. But such thinking is harmful. In light of what God has done for me and how I act in return for his mercy, any demand for fairness is stupid and out of place. One of the significant areas of conflict in life is the battle that emerges from wanting to have things God’s way AND my way. One example […]

Anger Is Not Your Friend!

Anger: sometimes it just feels right. Anger is happy to assume its place as your advocate, your defense against unfair actions.  And we are all too happy to welcome it. It just feels right! When your spouse is insensitive, when the kids are selfish and squabble constantly, anger stands ready to come to your defense. When others are selfish, anger is there to encourage you. When your pride is wounded, anger offers its supposed “healing power”. But the reality is that when human anger is embraced, good things will not happen. But what about righteous anger? Paul says in Ephesians 4:26 that in your anger you should not sin. So, since it is possible to be angry and not sin, […]