I don’t like correction. There I said it. I like to be right. More importantly, I like it even more when you think I am right. By openly admitting these things I have also shown a propensity for stupidity. This is but another reminder of the danger of being wise in my own eyes. If I care most about being right, I care most about myself. This is not wisdom but stupidity. If I am to learn, I must first love discipline and rebuke. When I recoil at the correction and rebuke of those closest to me, I make myself weak. Instead of trying to find a way to challenge a rebuke, God wants me to first learn from that […]
Communication
243 posts
Why do you fight with your teenager? The answer is obvious, right? If your teenager was more respectful, if he would just do half of the things you asked, if she would actually listen, if you mattered half as much as the phone…? Of course there are some things that you need to work on, but the bottom line is your teenager specializes in making life difficult, right??? The problem with this scenario is that this parent is acting like her teenager is in control. Everything is dependent upon the teenager doing what is wanted or expected. The parent’s action is controlled by what the teenager does instead of what God commands. Really? Yes, really. James says that fights and […]
Want to create some havoc in your home? Try cutting off the flow of social media to your kids. That’s right. Put all iPhones, Android phones, tablets and computers in a safe and lock them away. Then for good measure, disconnect any cable, DSL, satellite or any other internet connections to your home. Next, see what happens. There are many who think this would be the perfect solution to solve the relational issues your children struggle with. But does this really solve anything? Outside influence has always been in issue with raising children and, to be honest, for adults as well. Lot chose to live in an attractive city that had plenty of water for crops. It was well populated […]
Children quickly learn that tears are powerful motivators. If tears are not properly understood they can become weapons of manipulation and deceit. A young child wants to play with a toy that his brother has. He becomes so sad that he feels sorry for himself and tries to grab the toy. When his attempt fails, he begins to cry. Amazingly, the tears allow him to have the coveted toy. This little boy has just learned a lesson he will not forget. “Tears can bring me what I want.” Then he learns that tears will get him out of responsibilities that are unpleasant to him. Finally, he completes the trifecta by learning that tears can actually make others feel sorry for […]
Do your children see two types of parents? When things go well do they see parents that are content and pleased that things are under control? However, when things enter the twilight zone of disobedience and chaos do they see parents who are upset and whose only focus is to get things back under control, no matter what it takes? Kindness seems out of place in this twilight zone. But if God’s love for you is your model, kindness is always appropriate. Being kind does not mean you don’t discipline or correct. It does not mean you roll over and give your kids control of the house. It does not mean lowering standards. Being kind means that you show God […]
Even if your child never sees any television or movies, he will still be exposed to the world’s concept of sexuality. He will hear it from the children that he plays with. Talk about sex is a part of every school situation. Suppose you attempt to cut your child completely off from the world? As unwise as that would be, there will still be contact. There is more than enough information in the form of short comments, quotations in books, pictures on billboards, stories and pictures in magazines and catalogs to influence your child’s concept of sex. Whether you like or admit it, your child is hearing from the world about sex. That is why God wants you to talk […]
Jesus was talking to the religious establishment of his day. These leaders should have recognized the Jesus they saw before them. However, they expected a different Jesus. They expected a messiah who would meet their standards and honor them in their hypocrisy. They assumed they would be respected as leaders, that Jesus would acknowledge their wisdom. Jesus did just the opposite. He told them two parables to illustrate their weakness. Sadly and predictably, the establishment crowd continued in their ways, and after hearing the second parable they began to look for ways to arrest Jesus. Here is the first parable: “What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, […]
Do you want your children to see you as someone they can trust? Do you want your spouse to take comfort in just being with you? Are you easy to talk to? Is your family hesitant to talk you when they are hurting? If someone in your family messes up or is in trouble are you the person that helps him feel secure and safe, the person that she knows will help make things right? You want to be able to answer yes to these questions. In fact, you sometimes get angry and hurt when those close to you don’t seek your help. Ironic, isn’t it? There is a biblical quality that can help you become the go-to person for […]
You give your wife flowers and say you love her, but she remains distant. You apologize to your teenager for being angry and tell him you love him, but the barriers are still up. You give your middle-schooler an expensive birthday present with a note that says “I love you”, yet her smile is only half-hearted. Is the answer more flowers, a bigger and better present, a more sincere apology? Probably not. However, there is one thing you can do that will demonstrate the genuineness of your love. You can listen well. When there is an argument it is all too easy to think you know what the other person is thinking even before the first word is spoken. The […]
When someone attacks you, particularly someone close to you, your first response is likely self-protection. If it is, things will go from bad to worse. For example, your 14 year-old says: “All you care about is your stupid rules! You care about your rules more than you do about me! Thanks, a lot for not caring.” You feel hurt, disrespected and defensive. Your child is unable to appreciate the good you are trying to do. The defensive, natural response is to tell your teenager how wrong they are. Your teenager responds by thinking you just proved her point. Things quickly go downhill from here! Nothing less than wisdom from above can address this breakdown. The Holy Spirit describes wisdom from […]