The impure, profane speech of the Ephesians had woven itself into the life of the church to the point where Paul addressed the issue specifically. Ephesians 5:4 describes the importance of gratitude. “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” Ephesians 5:4 In the first part of the verse Paul directs that there should be no obscene, foolish talk or any coarse jesting. The Linguistic Key to the New Testament provides the definitions for these terms: • Obscene talk—shameful, filthy or obscene speech • Foolish talk—laughing at something without wit • Coarse jesting—the word implies dexterity of turning a discourse to wit or humor, and deceptive speech, that allowed the speaker […]
Communication
How can you make God real to your toddlers? First, God must be real to you. He is always with you. Your heart should overflow with love for him. The next step is to talk about your God 24/7 as Deuteronomy 6:5-7 commands. You want to be so in love with God and his commands that this becomes the focal point of conversations with children. So, how does this connect with toddlers? In the crush of life it is possible to go hours if not days and not talk about God and how special he is. You do not faithfully represent reality if there are huge gaps of time when God is not talked about. (See passages like I Corinthians […]
You observe your teenager talking a mile-a-minute with friends. Then you think about the typical conversations that you have had with your son or daughter. Instead of a lively back and forth your attempts at conversation tend to collapse into strained monosyllables.: Did you have a good day? Sort of. How was your test? Okay. Do you have homework? Maybe. Do you have plans this weekend? Not sure. Is anything bothering you? No. Did you clean your room? Not yet. I thought maybe we could talk later on. Why. What did you think of the sermon? It was okay. Why are you so hard to talk to? Aw, mom. You respond with a well-intended assessment of how things can be […]
Whatever you let into your heart will flow directly into the lives of those you love. If you guard your heart you guard those whom you love. If your heart is not guarded then you directly expose those closest to you to the evil attacks of the enemy. Proverbs 4:23 warns you to guard your heart: Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. In other words the ideas, the images, the influences you allow to flow into your heart become the substance of what flows out of your heart and out of your mouth. Fathers and husbands are you winning the war of purity and sexual temptation? Mothers and wives are you overcome by discouragement […]
Here are three things that go hand-in-hand with presenting wisdom as a blessing: First: listen before you speak. To be a good listener you must be able to repeat the words you hear back to the speaker in such a way that he can affirm that you really do understand what was said. You don’t always have to agree, but you must always understand. This attentiveness shows respect, first for God and then for your child. It also indicates that you view your authority as a trust given to you so that you can be a servant. Answering quickly, without fully understanding the intent of the words you hear, shows a lack of concern for others and, according to Proverbs, […]
The Christian life is so much more than avoiding negative things. It is primarily about engaging in thoughts and activities that bring honor to God. In Philippians 4:8-9, Paul urges Christians to focus on things that are excellent and praiseworthy. Here are two practical examples of doing this: Two young children are fussing and complaining. Negative response: “Why can’t you two just be quiet! Being noisy and fussy is a distraction to everybody in this house. I don’t want to hear any more unpleasantness, and I mean it! Do you understand?!?” Response that encourages excellence: “God’s Word says that we should be thankful for each other. Sarah, Ethan, remember that we talked about things we can be thankful for about […]
Young children ask their parents questions. Be thankful. As a parent, you want to keep the questions coming. No doubt someone is saying, are you crazy, all I do is answer questions. However, if you become exasperated with these questions, eventually they will diminish. While this may bring short-term relief, it will also result in a diminished relationship with your children as they become move towards the teenage years. Why is this true? Being annoyed with or detached from the questions of younger children will result in only hearing logistical questions from your teenagers. If your teenagers are primarily asking logistical questions, such as can I have the car, or when is dinner, this should alert you that the important questions […]
Is it to give him information? The problem here is that God already knows everything about you that could be known. Is it because he tells us to talk with him and tell him about our cares and concerns? This is headed in the right direction! But even here, we may be tempted to let God know how we think things should work out. The best reason to talk with God is because he wants us to! He desires our friendship, it is what you and I are created for – to bring honor to his name in all that we do. Ephesians 2:10 So, if we talk with God to let him know about our problems and to encourage […]
You should not be surprised when people are irritating. Actually, you should expect them to be. It is time to stop being shocked that people sin. Isn’t that negative thinking? No, this is realistic thinking that is in line with God’s commands. Here are a few examples: Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 Do not be overcome by evil, but evil with good. Romans 12:21 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 These are four of many commands about how to address irritating behavior. […]
“I’m really glad Dad spoke to me about that; I really needed his help.” “Mom, thanks for caring enough to keep me out of trouble.” The purpose of biblical authority is encourage and build up ( 2 Corinthians 13:10). But sometimes our children are last ones to recognize this. Here are three principles to help make the exercise your authority a blessing to your children. First: Listen well so that you can speak well. Commit yourself to be a skilled, aggressive listener. Your goal is to be able to repeat the words you hear back to your children in such a way that they can affirm that you really do understand them. You don’t always have to agree, but you […]