Jesus tells us in Matthew 7 that regardless of whether one is rich or poor, wise or unwise, prepared or unprepared, young or old, the storms will come. Still, when they do come we are often surprised. “Why is this happening?” Comfort comes when you and your children grasp that the storms are not random. Life’s storms move at the command of Jesus Christ. He is the only source of protection and safety. With Christ your view, your emotional response to life’s storms can be one of hope, confidence, and comfort in God’s care. Even in the midst of hurt, God’s peace can prevail. We forget that we live in a sin-cursed world. We are told we can be safe. […]
Communication
243 posts
You just became impatient with your nine-year-old. He was slow doing his part of the spring yard work. You snapped at him and told him if he didn’t work harder he would lose his computer privileges for six months. You immediately felt guilty. Here are some of the ways in which you might respond if you are not engaging in genuine repentance and renewal: You think that you shouldn’t feel guilty because he really is being slow. You know you should not have snapped, but he should have worked faster, so you say nothing. You are embarrassed about snapping but reluctant to acknowledge it to your son, so again, you say nothing. You feel guilty for snapping, so you apologize […]
Your view of obedience controls how you give directions. Strange as it may seem, the way your garbage is taken out can reveal your functional understanding of obedience. The goal is to learn how to give holy, everyday directions that please God and bless your children. Let me begin by asking you two questions: Do you want your children to obey your directions and take out the garbage? You might be thinking, “That’s a strange question; of course I want my children to obey me.” That leads me to the second question. Assuming you want your children to obey you, do you act as if you expect them to take out the garbage? Now you are sure I am asking […]
“Did you hear about…” These words are a gateway to gossip. These words can entice you to be part of an ugly communication chain. Someone comes to you and instead of saying “did you hear about…” he says: “Let me tell you about the marriage I am helping to destroy.” Suddenly, when stated this way, this information is not so attractive! If something you hear cannot be verified it is dangerous. There is precious little verification attached to the flood of information we encounter each day. Verification is not popular because it requires time, restraint, and careful investigation. Lack of verification leads to gossip. What is gossip? Gossip is spreading information which you or others don’t need to hear. If […]
Parents are to build relationships that honor God. James 3:17 is a remarkable summary of what biblical wisdom looks like in the face of conflict. This verse provides what you need to build relationships that bless your family and honor God. Below this verse is broken-down in bullet-point fashion. There is a personal question for you after each point. Compare this with how you interact with your family. There are six qualities illustrated in this verse of what wisdom from above looks like. Ask your children, your teenagers, your husband or wife how you are doing in these six areas of displaying wisdom. Don’t be defensive – listen and ask God for the power to show his wisdom, wisdom from […]
Anger is most often a response to a perceived injustice. In other words, all that has to happen to become angry is to think an injustice has been committed, even if the wrong never occurred. For example: You come home and your other car is not in the driveway. You become angry because you automatically assume your son has taken it without permission. Then you find out he is doing errand for your wife. Your angry subsides. You were angry at a perceived injustice. This is one reason Paul commands that you not let the sun go down on your anger. You could be angry about something that never really happened. So, Paul says, “in your anger do not sin.” […]
“Stop bothering your sister.” “Why?” “Because it is not nice to do that to her.” “Well, she is not nice to me. Why should I be nice to her?” “God says you should be nice to her.” “Well, then, you should tell her that. If she starts being nice to me, I’ll be nice to her. Its not like I am hurting her or anything.” “But that is not how it works. You should do what God wants no matter how your sister responds.” “So, what do I do when you get mad and yell at me?” “You shouldn’t talk to me like that!” “Why? I am not being disrespectful or mad, I just asked you a question.” “You just […]
Getting to the Heart of Behavior By Tedd Tripp Ask good questions to help your children understand their attitudes of heart. Think, for example, of the young man who has humiliated his younger brother in the presence of his older friends. You must correct his rude and hurtful behavior, but the wise parent will also help him understand what motivated him. You might have a conversation like this: “Do you think your brother was embarrassed by the ways you spoke to him?” “Yeah, I guess.” “Why do you think he felt so hurt?” “I guess he thought I was making fun of him.” “I think you’re right, he did. This is a hard question, but what do you think was […]
Six year old Jennifer has shown a pattern of not responding quickly to her mother. Mom realizes the problem lies more with her than with Jennifer. Mom had allowed herself to be distracted by other things. So instead of scolding Jennifer for failing to come eight times in a row, mom says this: “Jennifer, please forgive mommy for encouraging you to disobey me this afternoon.” “Mommy, I don’t understand.” “I realized that I have allowed you not to come when I called. Do you remember not quickly obeying mommy?” “Uh, yessss.” “Do you remember how God wants you to obey?” “To do exactly what I am told, right away, with a good attitude.” “Exactly! This is why I am asking […]
Talking About Wisdom & Foolishness by Tedd Tripp Imagine that your young son has been influenced to participate in some act of vandalism or disrespect toward others. You could have a conversation like this. “You know that what you have done is wrong, don’t you?” “Yeah, I guess.” “We will have to talk about what you have done and how you can make restitution, but I want you to think about this first. There are two kinds of people in the world. Do you remember who they are?” “The wise man and the fool.” “You’re right; I knew you’d get it. How does the wise man get so wise?” “The fear of the Lord?” “You’re right, the fear of the […]