I don’t like correction. There I said it. I like to be right. More importantly, I like it even more when you think I am right. By openly admitting these things I have also shown a propensity for stupidity. This is but another reminder of the danger of being wise in my own eyes. If I care most about being right, I care most about myself. This is not wisdom but stupidity. If I am to learn, I must first love discipline and rebuke. When I recoil at the correction and rebuke of those closest to me, I make myself weak. Instead of trying to find a way to challenge a rebuke, God wants me to first learn from that […]
Communication
243 posts
Being in middle school is like being in a tug-of-war with both sides evenly matched. On the one hand there is the pull of the teenage years. On the other hand are the benefits of being a young child. Or a middle schooler could dread the coming of youth while wanting desperately to be done with being a child. It is important not to miss the particular struggles your middle schooler might have. He is beginning to function without the immediate and constant supervision of his parents. He does this even though new and sometimes dangerous influences enter his life. Should he listen to Mom and Dad or to the kids that are telling him that there is more to […]
Parents, when your children sin and they are not respectful to you, how do you want to respond? If you make the matter primarily a personal offense against yourself and respond in anger and frustration, you will do what any ordinary parent might do. You might get angry at them. You might just let your children know how painful this is for you. You might yell. You might walk around in silent pain. You might tell your kids they have gone too far this time. All these responses would be ordinary and totally understandable. In this way you would associate God with the ordinary actions of ordinary people. When you give in to anger, resentment or self-pity at your children’s […]
Social networking is a big part of modern life. It is necessary to ask what biblical principles intersect with 21st century electronic information transfer. You have to admit it is a stretch to think of Paul texting Timothy to bring him the parchments so that he can post them on his blog. Social networking was virtually unknown a decade ago. Yes, email allowed us to correspond quickly, but as a form of communication it was not much different than regular mail. Today our lives, as well as our children’s lives, are dominated by Internet-enabled communities. Emoticons form a modern shorthand that allows for an instant transmission of moods, thoughts and plans across cities, states and continents. People write on electronic […]
Answering without Listening Tedd Tripp I had a conversation with my son near bedtime. I said what I thought needed to be said; he listened politely. “Well,” I said, after finishing my speech, “I am glad we had a chance to talk.” I prayed with him and went to bed. A few minutes later there was a knock at our bedroom door. “Dad, are you guys still awake?” “Yeah, come on in, what’s up?” “Well, Dad, I just wanted to say that when you left my room you said, ‘I’m glad we had this chance to talk’ and I just wanted to say that I didn’t say anything.” “Oh, I see, I had a good talk, you had a good […]
Philippians is a book that talks about resolving conflict. In Chapter 2 we find the following admonition: Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. From these words we learn that considering others to be more significant than we are is essential to heal the wounds of conflict. Of course, when we do experience conflict, considering the other person as more significant than ourselves is often the last thing on our minds. This is especially true of conflicts with your teenager. So, what does it look like to consider others more significant than yourself? […]
“Hey mom, Jeremy is upset.” “Okay Sarah, I’ll be right there.” The real story here is what mom is saying to herself in her mind. “Here we go again. Sarah is always making Jeremy upset. I can’t finish anything without somebody having an issue. I’ll get to it in a moment.” “Dad, I’m really sorry I messed up and forgot to cut the grass. I’ll get to it right after lunch. Sorry dad.” “Aaron, when is this pattern going to change? You need to start being responsible. Don’t make promises you can’t keep!” What dad is thinking is his mind: “I can’t believe this kid. Always an excuse. At least I didn’t yell at him. […]
Children have the seemingly endless capacity to ask questions that begin with why. Actually, this is a good thing! Why? Because anytime a why question is asked you already know that God has something to do with the answer. Asking why means that you will have many opportunities to tell your children about the wonders of God. For example, your child may ask, “Why do leaves change color in the fall?” Even giving a technical answer can lead to good things. You can explain as the green chlorophyll is reduced in the leaves by the coming of cooler weather, the underlying color of the leaves is then on display. In other cases the brown leaves may […]
This post is directed to husbands and fathers. However, wives and moms are welcome to read as well. Feel free to pass this on to your husbands. He who answers before listening— that is his folly and his shame. […]
Do you know people that irritate you? Do you have some friends or family members that you find annoying? No, these are not trick questions, just honest ones. The Holy Spirit wrote the Bible to help you deal with irritating, annoying people. And, as always, God’s answers are not our answers. The church in Philippi was having some people problems. So, Paul wrote a letter to address their concerns. There is much for us to consider in Philippians about relationships. But, I just want to focus on one point today. God wants you to consider the irritating, annoying people in your life as being more significant, more important than you are. Now, obeying God’s command to do this will not, […]