School has started. Even though summer has another month on the calendar, it has already ended. Schedules, grades, behavioral concerns, homework, and extra-curricular activities once again have center stage. Of course, all of life’s regular challenges are still present: financial issues, home and car maintenance, issues at work, relational struggles, problems at church, appointments, etc. In the midst of all this day-to-day turmoil your children can begin to feel less like a blessing and more like a burden. It is one thing to say that your children are a blessing to you and that you delight in them. It is another for them to actually believe this. Don’t misunderstand, failing to discipline and teach your children is not […]
Discipline
48 posts
Ephesians warns fathers not to exasperate their children. To be sure, there are a number of ways to exasperate children. But, I believe one of the most subtle and discouraging ways of doing this is the wrong use of explanations in disciplining children. Explanations can become damaging when they are based on attempts at persuasive argumentation, rather than training based upon Scripture.
Sin is deceptive. Parents, this is one truth that should never be far from your thoughts. Sin never presents itself for what it is. Anger appears to be a just response when one is wronged. A lie seems to be the easy way out of a difficult situation. This is the nature of sin. It seems to be the right thing to do at the moment. No matter how long you live, sin will present itself in this way.
This post addresses the first question that Wendy raised in her recent comment. We looked at her question regarding the gospel and obedience in the previous post. It is precisely because children are not born in a neutral state (Ephesians 2:1-3, Romans 3, Galatians 5:19-21), but in rebellion to God, that the gospel must be at the forefront of discipline. Children are to obey their parents because God has commanded them to do so. One of the means, if not the primary means, that God uses to draw children to himself is this confrontation that occurs when children are called to obey God. Wendy’s other question applies to the motivation for obedience. Here is her question:
Biblical parenting is first of all an exercise in biblical faith. This fact makes biblical parenting different from every other parenting methodology. A journey of faith cannot be accurately measured by visible markers. Other forms of parenting are measured by evaluating immediate responses–if behavior doesn’t change quickly, then the methods must not be correct. Thankfully, God calls us to trust him in faith. In biblical parenting, the primary objective is not to make the child happy, but to bring him to the cross of Christ. This brings us to a question posed by one of our readers.
Hebrews 12:5-11 has some intriguing words regarding discipline. Give these words some thought and we will look at them in more detail in the next post. 5And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. 6For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” 7It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9Besides this, we have […]
In a recent post I described a stressed mom talking to her son, Joshua. This mother was correcting Joshua for complaining. And it was essential that his mom give him both correction and direction. Let's take another look at that example and consider in detail how a mom could respond more helpfully. For this illustration we will assume that remedial verbal discipline was the appropriate response. Just saying that phrase–remedial verbal discipline–sounds heavy and confrontational, invoking memories of lectures and sharp tones. Correcting Joshua about complaining was not a pleasant task, but one of heaviness and duty. Complaining is not good; it is not trusting God, and it is not making Mom’s life any easier. The other siblings heard Josh’s […]
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land." Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-4 The last issue to consider regarding schoolwork, at least for this series of posts, is what to do when schoolwork does not happen. Let me sound a strong word of caution: this is a complex topic. Parents, you must sort out what are matters that pertain to the struggles with sin and growth that your child has and […]
The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction. Proverbs 16:21 This series of posts is in response to this question and comment. I'd like to see you address the topic of motivation in schoolwork sometime on your blog. How do we use the Scriptures to instill in our kids a motivation to do their best in their studies? What form should discipline take for children who do not apply themselves the way they should? In the previous post we saw that schoolwork is something given by God. When homework presents challenges, we have an opportunity to appeal to the gospel grace of God for strength and wisdom to complete the task at hand for his […]
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. —Proverbs 3:5-6 In the last post we looked at a request regarding motivation and children doing schoolwork. I’d like to see you address the topic of motivation in schoolwork sometime on your blog. How do we use the Scriptures to instill in our kids a motivation to do their best in their studies? What form should discipline take for children who do not apply themselves the way they should? I asked you to think about this topic and consider how you might answer the question raised by the commenter. Now that you […]