When children lie it is often tempting to see the reason for the lie as a mystery. For example; “Why would my child lie about taking that toy from his brother, when it is so obvious that he did do just that?” Then, deepening the mystery, parents often ask, “Why would he make up such a far-fetched story to cover up his actions? The lie and cover up seem so illogical and unnecessary.” Thus, parents sometimes tend to treat the problem as one of logic and intelligence; they puzzle over why their children would lie. Scripture solves the mystery. Children are born liars. When we sin, we lose the ability to be logical. We are blinded by self-interest (Proverbs 4:19). […]
Lying
34 posts
No child is born wise. Wisdom is a skill that must be acquired. If you are waiting for your child to grow up and begin to make wise choices, you will be waiting a long time. Ruth Younts says that Christian “wisdom is knowing and understanding the truth, obeying the truth, and making wise decisions based on the truth.” This is why Proverbs is adamant that we must get wisdom. Imparting God’s wisdom is far more than information transfer. Providing God’s wisdom to your children begins with the gospel. Apart from embracing the gospel, no one will even desire to be biblically wise. Wisdom is living a life that is oriented toward God, toward honoring God in each decision that […]
This is perhaps the most important question you will ever be asked about your children. This is Easter weekend, when we remember the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. We remember it because it actually happened. The crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ are not symbols, but reality. What Jesus did almost 2,000 years ago was the most courageous, loving and violent action ever taken by man. It was courageous because Jesus willingly took the wrath of God upon himself to pay for the ugliness and wickedness of sin. He knew full well what would happen to him; he knew the pain he would endure. Yet he took this punishment willingly, courageously. His action was loving because he truly put others before […]
Here is a comment from one of our readers about an issue related to lying. These kinds of comments are always welcome and I thank Michael for posting this. Thank you for these posts on lying. My 12 year old has participated in the sin of lying several times over the years causing him to be caught in it several times. He struggles with self-pity and I had never thought that it could be the root of his lying. Recently his 9 year old brother has contradicted his claims to the truth of a matter several times. Most recent it was concerning whether the 12 y.o. was playing a computer game when not allowed. As the parent I have no […]
Children’s lies are a harsh reminder of the nature of sin. To fully appreciate the immense power and value of the cross in our lives, we must have a profound sense of the ugliness of sin. This awareness must extend to your children as well. My children and your children come into this world as natural enemies of God. Telling the truth and avoiding deceit is not natural for them. They seek first and foremost to gratify their own passions and desires, even if it means that others will be harmed. They are by nature children of wrath.
Children tend to lie in two types of circumstances. We looked at the first reason in the last post. The response of immediately trying to deny responsibility comes naturally to us and to our children. Children are fearful of the consequences of their sin and lie to avoid them. Christ must be shown as the one who can bring peace to a fearful heart. It is vital that this pattern be addressed quickly and thoroughly. If it is not, then the habit lying will take root and become a means to other ends.
When children lie it is often tempting to see the reason for the lie as a mystery. For example; “Why would my child lie about taking that toy from his brother, when it is so obvious that he did do just that?” Then, deepening the mystery, parents often ask, “Why would he make up such a far-fetched story to cover up his actions? The lie and cover up seem so illogical and unnecessary.” Thus, parents sometimes tend to treat the problem as one of logic and intelligence; they puzzle over why their children would lie. Scripture solves the mystery. Children are born liars. When we sin, we lose the ability to be logical. We are blinded by self-interest (Proverbs 4:19).
The next few posts will be taken from a series on lying that I did over 2 years ago. Lying in children is an important issue to understand and address, so these posts are offered to help. Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment. Proverbs 12:19 The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful. Proverbs 12:22 We are all born liars. Not a pleasant thought, but true. Like you, your children were born with the capacity and proclivity to lie. Psalm 58:3 says that we come from the womb speaking lies. While we know the Bible teaches this, we are often shocked by our children’s lies.
Even from birth the wicked go astray; from the womb they are wayward and speak lies. Psalm 58:3 And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience —among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. Ephesians 2:1-3 Don Fields’ comment and questions about lying have been on my heart during these posts on lying. Children’s lies are a harsh reminder of […]
Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet. Then Peter said, "Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied to men but to God." Acts 5:1-4 In one sense […]