The best gifts are the ones that transcend time. These are gifts that cannot be purchased at any price. They not for sale. Yet anyone in possession of them will never be poor. Solomon describes such a gift in Proverbs 4:1-2: Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching. The gift of obedience is priceless. Teaching your children that biblical obedience is doing exactly what they are told, right away, with a good attitude is a gift that will serve them for the rest of their life and into eternity. Not too long ago I spoke with a mother whose daughter had […]
Parenting
597 posts
Parents are you dominated by love or frustration? Do you lead your children or do you push them? Leading is born out of love and pushing is born out of frustration. We tell our children that we demand obedience and speak sharply because we love them and only want the best for them. Children are seldom convinced by this argument. It appears to them as if they are being pushed into doing what mom and dad want. As a Christian, you must first be blown away by what Christ has done for you on the cross. This is expressed by drinking deeply of God’s commands so that your heart is permeated with them. Then, this love for God and his […]
Moms and dads often struggle with not being respected. It is tempting to think that life would be better if you only had a little more respect. It is true that children are commanded to respect parental authority. But, it is also true, that demanding respect will not help your children to respect you. So, what should you do when you are disrespected? Consider these two principles: Respect is not a personal entitlement. Respect is to be won. Respect is not a personal entitlement. The truth is that you did nothing commendable to earn the respect due to your position as a parent. This position was something that God gave to you, you did nothing to earn it. This is […]
Proverbs 16 offers key, comprehensive insights about establishing authority on the basis of righteousness; this kind of authority encourages. Here are some selected Proverbs from this chapter: Proverbs 16:3 Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. This is the starting point. The commitment indicated here is total. Commitment to the Lord because of your love for him is the focus of the proverb. This is not so much as achieving a single outcome as it as committing all of your life to honor God. In parenting this would mean a commitment to use God’s methods to accomplish God’s purpose. Authority without this commitment is destructive! Proverbs 16:11 Honest scales and balances are from the LORD; […]
Obedience is not something to use to gain a reward. Rather, obedience itself is a reward, a great privilege, honor and joy. Just as I cannot make myself more acceptable to God by my obedience, neither do I want my children to think that I will be more accepting of them because of their obedience. “Excuse me! Would you mind saying that again?” Sure. Your children must not think that you will be more accepting of them if they obey you. I know, saying it like this seems awkward. So much of your life is about training and teaching God’s truth. But the truth is that one’s own obedience does not make him acceptable to God. The last thing […]
As parents we rightly focus on teaching our children to obey God. But, we must be more focused on teaching our children to love God first. This is where it is easy to turn away from the gospel in parenting. Whether you read Deuteronomy, Matthew or Colossians, the first thing that God desires is that he is to be loved. Too often, when it comes to raising children, loving God is tacked on as an after thought to obedience. The thought process may run like this: “I can’t force my children to love God, so I will teach them to obey, because I can require that.” Teaching obedience appears to be a more doable task than teaching […]
Young children ask their parents questions. They do this, in part, because parents are the center of their world. There is no one that means more to them than mom and dad. Asking questions is a sign of respect and appreciation. Be thankful. As a parent, you want to keep the questions coming. If you become get exasperated with the questions of young children will eventually diminish the type and frequency of the questions asked. While this may bring short-term relief, it will also result in a diminished relationship with older children and teenagers. How does this happen? By being annoyed with or detached from the questions of younger children will result in only hearing logistical questions from your teenagers. […]
Here is an example of a conversation with a dad and his 15 year old son. Dad has discovered his son is viewing pornography online. The conversation is a composite one. It might take several talks to get things resolved as they are in this example. But the content and the responses are drawn from real life situations There are consequences for the son as well as Dad presenting Christ. “Justin, we have to talk about the images you were viewing on the computer.” “Dad, I really don’t want to and I am not going to – it is really none of your business.” “I think I understand why you would say that. I didn’t want to […]
There is a problem with consequences in dealing with behavior. They are not enough. They will not bring change to the heart. What your children need is the gospel – they must learn Christ! That is the point. Severe consequences may yield a change in behavior, but darkness will still rule in the heart. Let’s be clear. Paul says there are only two ways of living or thinking. One way is to follow the natural path of darkness that all people are born with (Ephesians 2:1-3; 4:17-19). The other way is to learn Christ. This is the point that must not be missed. The phrase learning Christ appears only once in the New Testament. In Ephesians 4:20, Paul says that […]
A young child may reason that a cookie will make her happy. The desire for the cookie overrides the command from mom not to have the cookie till after supper. On the surface this appears to be a simple matter of behavior. The desire for the cookie wins out over obedience. However, on the heart-level, complex patterns are at work. We are born with a nature that is at war with God. Romans 1 also tells us that this sinful nature actively suppresses the truth of God. The unseen and often unperceived heart battle goes something like this: “I want that cookie. I will not submit to God’s law or what mom wants. I deserve to have that cookie because […]