Paul encourages children to obey their parents so that it will go well with them and that they will live a long life on the earth. These words echo the fifth commandment, found in Deuteronomy 5:16. We know that the gospel is all about grace and receiving things we do not deserve. Yet in Ephesians 6:3, Paul appears to add a caveat to grace—if children obey their parents, they will enjoy a long and favorable life on earth. Is this a formula for works being woven into the gospel? The answer is no! To understand Paul’s admonition to children, we must remember how Paul previously describes obedient living to the Ephesians. Here are two examples: …For we are his workmanship, […]
Parenting
597 posts
Explanation as a method of training is tied to the belief that teaching children is based on information transfer. The idea is that if I explain to my kids how they should behave, what they did wrong and how to change, then they will behave differently and for the better. The problem with this method is that it misses the reality that behavior flows from the heart, not just from a correct understanding of the situation. Explanation must transcend information transfer and become instruction that reaches the heart. Deuteronomy 6:5-7 forms the paradigm for how this is done. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that […]
God has not called parents to explain but to train. Explanations often lead to frustration and anger for both parents and children. Children are not in need of lengthy, compelling explanations. What they are in need of is the understanding that God must be obeyed. Ephesians 6:4 addresses this issue: Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Explanations tend to focus on getting someone to agree with you. The logic for explanations runs something like this: If I can just get my children to understand the reason for my direction, then they will be more likely to follow my instruction. While this may sound like solid reasoning, […]
Your children were born to worry, just like you. If you allow the issues of each day to dominate your life the result will be worry. Believing you alone have to care for your needs each day leads to worry. This means you will model worry for your children. Defensively, you and I might respond like this, “oh, I am not an obsessive worrier. I don’t worry about dirty doorknobs. But I am concerned about the things that are really important, like our meals and other basic important things.” Nice try, but this can still be worry. If Jesus instructed you to ask God for your daily bread, then you can trust God to provide. By reading the verses […]
When Jesus says this is how you should pray parents should take notice! God wants you to pray that his kingdom will reign in your home. To pray effectively, in a way that honors God as special and holy, we must pray that God’s purpose and plan must prevail and not our own. However, the reality is that we come to God most often when we have a problem. If this is the example your children follow, it is not a good one. This is the point to stress to yourself and to your children. By crying out to God that you want his kingdom to rule and his will to be done, you are implicitly saying that his purpose […]
Even the world wants children who obey and do what they are told. But the apostle Paul says that simply coming when called is not enough. Paul says children are to come when called, in the Lord, that is in the power of God. That is radical. It means your parenting may not be evaluated only on how quickly and how correctly your children respond to your directions. Your parenting must lead your children to do these things in the Lord, otherwise they are not doing right at all. Here is what Paul says: Children obey your parents in the Lord. Ephesians 6:1 What is so radical about that, you may ask? The radical part is the last three words: […]
Schoolwork assignments add another set of variables that goes beyond the immediate scope of the parent-child relationship. If you tell your child to take out the garbage, or take a few minutes to read to his little brother, the interaction is primarily between you and your son. However, if the task is to complete a schoolwork assignment, there may be important factors influencing your child that are not immediately obvious. This is true even for homeschoolers. Any time your child interacts with an outside source of direction or information, parents must be alert. Wisdom, discernment, and patience are required to understand your child’s reaction to that outside source. It is in these moments when you prepare your children to deal […]
Several years ago I had the privilege to respond to a mom whose daughter was mocked by another child on a school bus. Here is the comment the little girl’s mom wrote in her blog: The girl on the bus pointed at her birthmark–the one just below her left eye–and told her she looked stupid. The soft confession came from my little girl, who was staring at the floor. A groan escaped me and I grabbed my daughter close. And I did exactly what I shouldn’t have: I cried. Will it get easier to be strong? Will it get easier to say the right thing in response to pain? Below is what I wrote to encourage this mom. A birthmark, […]
Christian single-parents live in two worlds. As a part of the church world, they are in the minority. As a part of the world outside of church they are the majority. Parenting is challenging enough with two parents – it can be overwhelming with just one. It is important for church leaders and two-parent families to recognize the challenges single-parent brothers and sisters face. This is important for the health of the entire church and our witness to the communities we serve. As Paul reminds us, if one part of the body suffers, the whole body suffers as well. Many of our single-parent families are struggling. This is not always easy to spot in a church environment. Worship services, educational […]
Colossians tells us that we have been rescued from the domain of darkness and been transferred into the Kingdom of God’s Son. Yet, often we act as if no rescue has taken place at all. You and I frequently live as if we still remain in the realm of darkness. When this happens we do what the Psalmist tells us not to do; we hide this miraculous transfer of dominions from our children. Colossians does not speak of another kingdom that exists between the realm of darkness and the realm of Christ. Yet we often live as if this mythical kingdom is real. In this pretend kingdom, the really important issues of life are seen as neutral. There are […]