Absalom was a troubled young man. He did not present himself as troubled, but he was. He projected power; he manipulated his father, the king. He was arrogant. He was vengeful, taking the life of his brother in payment for the honor of his sister. He had a flare for the dramatic. He had 50 men who ran ahead of him to announce his going and coming. He challenged his father’s leadership by publicly proclaiming that life would be better for all if only he were king. But the real Absalom was not what he appeared to be. Inside he was hurting. He relied on subversion and raw intimidation to achieve what he wanted. He had no answer for the pain […]
Parenting
597 posts
If you pour some oil into a clear measuring cup with water you will find that they don’t mix; the oil remains on top. I realize this observation hardly qualifies me as scientist of the year! But there is something to be learned from this familiar occurrence. Biblical love and discouragement are like oil and water. Mix love and discouragement together in a clear glass and you find love (oil) on top and discouragement (water) on the bottom. You can see the line that separates them. Discouragement, though real, does not change our ability or capacity to love. We tend to believe that discouragement comes from unfortunate circumstances, as in children who are slow to obey. Actually, discouragement comes most […]
What will 2014 bring for your life? If you are a parent, this question, no doubt, has crossed your mind. What kind of a parent will you be this year? What are the new issues that your children will face, both in their own growth and with the unsettling changes in the culture. it is not uncommon for your thoughts to vacillate between hope and worry. There are new opportunities, but also new dangers to face. At the end of the day, when you are left alone with your thoughts, what will you think about? The Holy Spirit gives particular directions for your thoughts. He says to think about whatever is excellent and praiseworthy ( Philippians 4:8-9). This positive directive […]
Truthfulness is something that we value in other people. But how about for yourself? Do you value the truth? I am sure you would say yes if you were asked. However, there are times when we are tempted to not say all that is true, or perhaps to shade the truth for our own benefit. Here is an example: Your son who is eight, is complaining he didn’t get as many Christmas cookies as his sisters and he thinks that is unfair. You tell him: “Michael, there was one plate for the whole family, you, your sisters, and dad. I told everyone, including you, that the cookies were out of the oven and ready to eat. But you said you […]
One way to define humility is doing what God wants as opposed to doing what I want. Pride is doing what I want instead of what God commands. To be humble means to consider God before myself. This takes courage and love. The result is the power to live as God commands. As Jesus said. “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” Pray earnestly for the power of humility. Your children will be threatened by your pride, but they will be blessed by your humility.
Parents, if you want to give sound and valued counsel to your children – counsel that they will love and respect – you must first heed this admonition for yourself. If you are going to give biblical care to your children, you must attend to your own heart. Guarding your own heart from evil influences and tendencies is essential. Are you living hypocritically, ignoring some area of sin instead of repenting and changing? If so, your attempts to teach and model Christ to your children will be flawed and warped. No training is more effective than the model of a sincere, godly parent. Conversely, no training is more destructive than a hypocritical parent demanding from his children what he will […]
How can you give the gift of God’s Word to your children? The best way to present the gift of the Word of Christ to your children is to have that Word dwell richly within you. A full, energetic relationship with Christ through his Word dwelling in your life is a magnificent gift to your children. It is also an essential gift. Only this will make you a biblical shepherd who is practical, caring and responsive to your children. Shepherding your child’s heart is an awesome and fearful task, but it is the task God has given you. Attempting this task without Christ’s Word richly living within you will only lead to frustration, both for you and for your children. […]
In the last post we just considered the first part of this passage. The father in the parable could have made a judgment right after the second son said he would go to the field. After all, the first son was defiant and the second son was respectful. It would seem clear – the first son could be expected to defy his father and the second son could be expected to follow through and honor his father. But as the parable continues, just the opposite actually happened. The expectations formed after the initial encounters turned out to be flawed. This is an important lesson to learn in shepherding teenagers. As parents, it is your natural tendency treat your teenagers […]
Look carefully at this passage and consider what the two sons were your teenagers: “What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’ ” ‘I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. “Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go. “Which of the two did what his father wanted?” “The first,” they answered. Matthew 21:28-31 Being a teenager is not always easy. This has something to do with why it is not always easy to be the parent of a teenager. As […]
God wants you to look at the world His way. You can learn to be thankful for a rainout. You can even learn to be intrigued at what God is doing. How many other events did He change by that thunderstorm? You are observing God at work! God wants you to use the ordinary events of life to teach your children to know and trust God and His Son. Here is a practical example of this point. Let’s say you planned a special day. You scheduled this day weeks ahead. Today is the day. You were going to finish a landscaping project in the morning and then meet the guys for a round of golf at the country club. You […]