The demand for instant gratification is destructive. This pattern, if not stopped, will result in a life dominated by the desire for immediate gratification. Immediate gratification is the gateway to a life of destructive, abusive relationships, pornography, substance abuse, abusive behavior. If you hear your child frequently complain or grumble, you are hearing a child who is becoming a slave to his own desires. Sin feeds on the desire for immediate happiness. That is why a child can go from seeming bliss to outrage in an eye blink. One moment everything is fine. Then he sees his brother with a toy that he wants and he immediately erupts with a howl that sounds like he is being tortured. Why? Because […]
Ruling Desires
112 posts
As humans we have an amazing capacity for self-importance. After being with Jesus at the last supper, after having him wash their feet, after hearing that one of them would betray Jesus, the disciples began to discuss an important topic. Actually, it was a dispute. They began to argue about which of them would have the highest public opinion poll! “A dispute also arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest.” (Luke 22:24) Amazing. But not really, the disciples are too much like me for comfort. They typically were interested in things that had to do with them. Sound familiar? Even after 3 years of living with Christ and hearing his teaching, it was still […]
There is a difference between physical beauty and biblical sexual attraction. Physical beauty is on display to be admired by all who observe it. The Holy Spirit describes the beauty of Job’s daughters this way: “Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers.” Physical beauty can and should be appreciated by many. But sexual attraction is only for one’s marriage partner. Sexual attraction outside of marriage will lead to lust and, eventually, torment. It is important to teach this truth to your daughters and sons. In Galatians 5:19-21, sensuality is listed as one of the deeds of the flesh. Sensuality is an unbridled, […]
It seems like such a simple thing. You ask your child to do something and in response, he quietly keeps playing with his toy. If the day is laid back and the request seems inconsequential, the negative response might be ignored. But, you decide to press on, so you ask again, this time a little more firmly, and then one more time. Your four-year-old grudgingly, slowly does as he was told. You breathe a sigh of relief, no harm done, at least he obeyed. But actually this little boy has taken a step down the road to self-hatred. Solomon warns that those who disregard discipline despise themselves. What appears to be just an inconsequential delay is actually helping a child […]
“Love is giving willingly of whatever I have to meet someone’s need.” I can almost hear someone reacting, “Wait a minute! That might be a partial definition of love. But what about the deep feelings, the driving emotional mood that is also supposed to accompany love. This definition leaves that part out.” There is an unspoken expectation that is associated with love. This human assumption is that when you love there are huge emotional benefits that make love something good for you. When you say you love someone, your natural self is expecting good things to happen to you because of your “love”. Imagine Christmases, anniversaries, Valentine’s Days where you were the only one doing the sacrificial giving . You […]
Living for your children will ruin your life and theirs. If your hopes and dreams are bound to your children, you will be disappointed, perhaps even bitter. If you expect your children to provide the comfort and support that can only come from God you will be deeply hurt. You will set yourself up to be disappointed and crushed when your family fails you. No spouse, no child can provide comfort that can only be found in God. God will have no other gods before him. Your first loyalty must be to God and God alone. Children who have become the sole objects of their parents’ dreams and aspirations cannot bear that awful weight. This unbalanced child focus is actually […]
Luke recounts a story in Acts about how the early Christians were caring for each other’s needs. He specifically mentions a Cypriot Levite named Joseph who sold a field and brought the money from the sale to the apostles. Joseph was such a blessing that the apostles called him Barnabas, which means son of encouragement. This was a good thing. There was a married couple who apparently observed Barnabas’ good deed and the appreciation he received for it. So they sold some property that they owned. But something happened to these two when they collected the money from the sale. While we can’t be exactly sure of their thoughts, Luke does tell us about the plan that they conceived, a […]
The answer is, of course you don’t! Yet, if you are like most people, you find yourself frequently saying something like, “I know better than that, why do I keep doing it?” So why do you keep repeating the things that trouble you — it is the deceptiveness of sin. You were born with a spiritual heart that is defective, it does not operate as intended. If there is a problem with your physical heart, it tends to immediately demand whatever attention is necessary in order to solve the problem. However, the same level of concern and expense is seldom directed towards a malfunctioning spiritual heart. In Jeremiah, the Holy Spirit speaks directly about your defective heart: “The human heart […]
Immediate gratification is the gateway to enslavement. This desire for the immediate is based on two lies. The first is that having what I want will be satisfying and the second is nothing bad will happen if I get what I want. This is the way sin works. If your children believe the lie that getting instant relief from their discomfort or discontent is ultimate, they have been entrapped by sin’s deceitfulness. This pattern, if not stopped, will result in a life dominated by the desire for immediate gratification. Pornography, substance abuse, abusive behavior, all have their roots in the quest for immediate gratification. The fruit of the Spirit is best grown in the soil of self-denial. When you hear […]
Following rules will not make you a better person. Rules will not build your character. Rules will not produce spiritual maturity. What rules may do is keep you safe and keep you from breaking laws. The question to ask is this: Is there more to life than being safe and legal? Relying primarily on a set of rules to govern your family can be toxic. Paul warns you about being taken captive by human traditions and spiritual forces of this world. Here is his exact warning found in Colossians 2:8. “See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on […]