Your six-year-old has become so obsessed with wanting his brother’s radio controlled car that he has made himself sick whining and complaining about it. There is a reason the Holy Spirit warns against grumbling and complaining. This familiar scenario does not seem as shocking as the story of a teenager obsessed with pornography. However, the attitudes that fuel the teenager’s lust and obsession are the same ones that control your six-year old. This point must not be missed. You must connect the dots of self-pity in your young children with the self-pity of teenagers caught up in sins like pornography and substance abuse. Don’t dismiss self-pity as a passing stage. Whining in young children is the early warning sign of […]
Ruling Desires
112 posts
Love is a personal thing or so we are told. Problems come when love is too personal. When love is all about me, bad things happen. Love must be defined by God, specifically by the work of his son, Jesus. The Holy Spirit tells us that we know what love is by how Jesus loved (1 John 3:16). By looking at Christ we see that love is other-centered, not me-centered. This takes some radical rethinking. Love is not about what makes you feel good or happy. Love is dying to your wants, your desires. Only by loving Jesus first can anyone experience this sort of love. The Holy Spirit provides specific examples of what other-centered, true love looks like in […]
The unspoken question most asked about love is, “What’s in it for me?” We are born with this compelling motive regarding love. We are born self-centered and self-consumed. So, if we love something or someone there must be a benefit to be gained. Young children love what makes them happy. Unfortunately, this is a pattern that we never outgrow apart from the saving work of Christ. We were made to love, just as we were made to worship. But, because of sin, we love ourselves and we worship what is pleasing to our corrupt nature. Without being changed by God, both love and worship become distorted and lead to destruction rather than salvation. In God’s mercy he sent Jesus Christ […]
Obedience is not something I use to gain a reward – obedience itself is my reward. Just as I cannot make myself more acceptable to God by my obedience, neither do I want my children to think that I will be more accepting of them because of their obedience. When children disobey, the solution should not be to do better next time. The solution is to to trust Christ for the strength to do what cannot be done in one’s own strength. Training your children to be obedient is not about getting them to do what you want them to do. It is about teaching them to honor God from their hearts. Biblical obedience acknowledges the weakness of the flesh […]
In the wisdom literature of the Old Testament, the Holy Spirit has provided you with a guide book for understanding emotions. Biblically, emotions can be thought of as the first responders of the heart. If the heart is good and well-guarded emotions can work for us, not against us. If the heart is not guarded then emotions can bring much damage. This is why Solomon is adamant that the heart be guarded above all else (Proverbs 4:23). The book of Job tells us right away the value of emotions. We read that Job feared the Lord and shunned evil. His strong emotional fear of God protected him from evil. This is the same emotional response that protected Joseph when he […]
Anger is a difficult sin. Like an ice-breaker pushing huge chunks of ice in all directions, anger leaves a trail of broken pieces in its wake. Broken chunks of ice are good thing. Broken pieces of life – not so much. Anger is often a response to injustice. With God this is good. His motives and reasons for anger are always pure and right. Your child’s anger is also often a response to injustice. But his motives and reasons are seldom pure and right. A young child thinks he has been wronged because someone else has his toy. A middle-schooler is angry because others are not kind to her. A teenager struggles with anger because of guilt as a result […]
Your flesh tempts you to think love is something that is designed to make you happy, to make you feel good. Yes, it is wonderful when others love us. But you must not live live for those moments. Biblically, love is dying to what you want and living for what brings honor to God. In love, Jesus did not keep his life, but gave it up for you. Paul tells us three things that are not love. Love does not envy. Love does not boast. Love is not proud. I Corinthians 13:4 Envy has a particularly nasty twist with regard to parenting. Envy causes you to crave things that you think will make you happy. You listen to the lustful […]
By Dr. Charles Hodges, author of Good Mood Bad Mood I have written often about the perils of the recreational use of marijuana and I cannot resist writing again. The cause for my writing is that the New York Times that has stumbled into the reality that smoking pot does little if any good for those who smoke it. And it has the potential for great harm.[i] In an October 29th article by Abigail Moore titled, “This Is Your Brain on Drugs,” the problems with pot are outlined. The first and most disturbing is that smoking marijuana changes the brain. The nucleus accumbens thickens and among those in the study, the more they smoked the more it thickened. The changes […]
Getting to the Heart of Behavior Tedd Tripp Ask good questions to help your children understand their attitudes of heart. Think, for example, of the young man who has humiliated his younger brother in the presence of his older friends. You must correct his rude and hurtful behavior, but the wise parent will also help him understand what motivated him. You might have a conversation like this: “Do you think your brother was embarrassed by the ways you spoke to him?” “Yeah, I guess.” “Why do you think he felt so hurt?” “I guess he thought I was making fun of him.” “I think you’re right, he did. This is a hard question, but what do you think was going […]
The woman grabbed Joseph’s clothing with such force it was clear that only one thing was on her mind. Joseph’s response was also swift and emotional. He tore himself away, leaving her holding on to his cloak. Such a powerful emotional response is not simply an academic decision. Joseph’s response was like Job’s. Job feared God and shunned evil. Wisdom driven by emotion protected Joseph. So, here are three dynamic factors that led to wisdom protecting Joseph: 1.A strong, emotional love of wisdom—so much so that Joseph was driven emotionally to flee from the grip of sexual temptation. 2.Joseph was emotionally tied to the specific content of righteousness. If something was not righteous, it was morally repugnant to him. 3.Joseph […]