Anger, sometimes it just feels right. When your husband is insensitive, when the kids are selfish and squabble constantly, when your wife is disrespectful, anger stands ready to come to your defense. When others are not helpful anger is there to encourage you. When your pride is wounded, anger offers its healing power. When anger is embraced, God is cast aside. But what about righteous anger? That’s always the trap. Paul says in Ephesians 4:26 that in your anger you should not sin. So, since it is possible to be angry and not sin, it easy to welcome anger like a friendly ally when others sin against us. But Ephesians 4:26 is not all that Paul […]
Ruling Desires
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Proverbs 4:23 warns you to guard your heart: Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. In other words the ideas, the images, the influences you allow to flow into your heart become the substance of what flows out of your heart. Do you guard what flows into your heart? Are there things that are more exciting to you than the person of Christ? Are you enticed by anger? Do you long for what you do not have? Are you plagued by bitter thoughts, impure thoughts? Are you conscious of the importance of protecting your heart from a godless, deceptive culture and bitter disappointments? Don’t miss this reality! Whatever you let […]
Anger is a difficult sin. Like an ice-breaker pushing huge chunks of ice in all directions, anger leaves a trail of broken pieces in its wake. Broken chunks of ice are good thing. Broken pieces of life – not so much. Anger is often a response to injustice. With God this is good. His motives and reasons for anger are always pure and right. Your child’s anger is also often a response to injustice. But his motives and reasons are seldom pure and right. A young child thinks he has been wronged because someone else has his toy. A middle-schooler is angry because others are not kind to her. A teenager struggles with anger because of guilt as a result […]
Shepherd Press is pleased to announce the publication of the Lifeline Mini-book series. These unique books, larger and more robust than the typical counseling book, are still pocket-sized resources. Lifeline mini-books are a gospel-centered series written by people who are in the trenches of ministry. Each mini-book is practical and accessible, written for the person in the pew as well as for pastors and counselors. The mini-books address a broad range of Christian life and counseling issues, such as abuse, addiction, anger, finances, grief, qualities of a good church, military deployment, marital unfaithfulness, suicide, single parenting to name only a few. These books demonstrate that biblical counsel can be made simple without becoming shallow. There is real meat here: […]
The desire for instant gratification comes with a set of blinders at no extra charge. If what I want is what I want and I must have it now then there is little or no thought given to what happens when I get what I want. Blinders result in being blindsided. David gave no thought to what would happen after he had Bathsheba. Amnon could focus only on Tamar and never stopped to think that his lust would cost him his life. Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, thought only of the acclamation they would receive from people and thought nothing of lying to the Holy Spirit. These individuals thought only of their immediate cravings. This is exactly what the enemy […]
The demand for instant gratification is destructive. This pattern, if not stopped, will result in a life dominated by the desire for immediate gratification. Immediate gratification is the gateway to a life of destructive, abusive relationships, pornography, substance abuse, abusive behavior. If you hear your child frequently complain or grumble, you are hearing a child who is becoming a slave to his own desires. Sin feeds on the desire for immediate happiness. That is why a child can go from seeming bliss to outrage in an eye blink. One moment everything is fine. Then he sees his brother with a toy that he wants and he immediately erupts with a howl that sounds like he is being tortured. Why? Because […]
Here is an example of a conversation with a dad and his 15 year old son. Dad has discovered his son is viewing pornography online. The conversation is a composite one. It might take several talks to get things resolved as they are in this example. But the content and the responses are drawn from real life situations There are consequences for the son as well as Dad presenting Christ. “Justin, we have to talk about the images you were viewing on the computer.” “Dad, I really don’t want to and I am not going to – it is really none of your business.” “I think I understand why you would say that. I didn’t want to […]
There is a problem with consequences in dealing with behavior. They are not enough. They will not bring change to the heart. What your children need is the gospel – they must learn Christ! That is the point. Severe consequences may yield a change in behavior, but darkness will still rule in the heart. Let’s be clear. Paul says there are only two ways of living or thinking. One way is to follow the natural path of darkness that all people are born with (Ephesians 2:1-3; 4:17-19). The other way is to learn Christ. This is the point that must not be missed. The phrase learning Christ appears only once in the New Testament. In Ephesians 4:20, Paul says that […]
A young child may reason that a cookie will make her happy. The desire for the cookie overrides the command from mom not to have the cookie till after supper. On the surface this appears to be a simple matter of behavior. The desire for the cookie wins out over obedience. However, on the heart-level, complex patterns are at work. We are born with a nature that is at war with God. Romans 1 also tells us that this sinful nature actively suppresses the truth of God. The unseen and often unperceived heart battle goes something like this: “I want that cookie. I will not submit to God’s law or what mom wants. I deserve to have that cookie because […]
Confidence for you and your children comes from desiring God. Proverbs 3:5&6 is a familiar passage that warns against trusting yourself and your own understanding. Verse six links trusting God with acknowledging God in every thing you do. Here are the verses: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. The depth of the word translated “acknowledge” is lost in many translations. One respected commentator translates verse 6 this way: in all your ways desire his presence, and he will make your paths straight and smooth. Note that “desire his presence” replaces “acknowledge”. The root […]