“I’m sorry” or “please forgive me” — does it make a difference? Aren’t they just two different ways of saying the same thing? Not really. “I’m sorry” can lead to regret, which leads to enslavement. “Please forgive me” leads to repentance, which leads to freedom. Saying I’m sorry doesn’t really require a change of heart. For example, one child takes another child’s toy truck without permission. He is caught in the act. He is told to go to his brother, give the toy back and say he is sorry. He does this, but inside he is still unhappy he doesn’t have the toy. His brother, on the other hand, is happy to have the toy back, but he is upset […]
Shaping Influences
117 posts
School has started. School is about performance. Report cards and grades are the measure of success. There are tests to be taken and teams to tryout for. But evaluating performance is not the true measure of a child’s worth. No child can bear the weight of thinking he has to measure up to a standard in order to be appreciated and have worth. Academic pursuits are not a true measure of worth. Neither is academic excellence. Do your children know this? Do you believe this? It is one thing to say that your children are a blessing to you and that you delight in them. It is another for them to actually believe this. Don’t misunderstand, failing to discipline and […]
Life is about competition and winning. Or at least it seems that way. The Olympic Games show the drama and stunning capabilities of athletic achievement. But in the end, all eyes are still on the gold. This fascination with athletic success is a human thing. Tedd Tripp puts it this way: “That is why we enjoy watching sports on TV. We love to marvel at amazing feats that ordinary mortals cannot accomplish. Whether football, basketball, ice skating or skiing, we love to be dazzled by athleticism.This is uniquely human. There are no diving competitions for penguins in the Antarctic. They dive from massive ice floes, barely breaking the water, and yet no one scores them. At the end of the […]
Are you interested in having your children respond gratefully to your instruction? Most parents I know would answer with a tentative yes. Why tentative? Because most believe gratitude and instruction are polar opposites when it comes to instruction. Let’s see if we can change that. Here are three keys that go hand-in-hand with making your instruction a blessing: First: listen before you speak. To be a good listener you must be able to repeat the words you hear back to the speaker in such a way that he can affirm that you really do understand what was said. You don’t always have to agree, but you must always understand. This attentiveness shows respect, first for God and then for your […]
In the wisdom literature of the Old Testament, the Holy Spirit has provided you with a guide book for understanding emotions. Biblically, emotions can be thought of as the first responders of the heart. If the heart is good and well-guarded emotions can work for us, not against us. If the heart is left unguarded then emotions can bring much damage. This is why Solomon is adamant that the heart be guarded above all else (Proverbs 4:23). The book of Job tells you right away the value of emotions. Job feared the Lord and shunned evil. His strong emotional fear of God protected him from evil. This is the same emotional response that protected Joseph when he fled from the […]
There are times when memories seem as a curse. The pain is strong enough that you bless the minutes, the hours, the days when those memories are absent. Then there are the good memories, the ones you want never to forget. These good ones are etched in your mind. They bring joy. God made you this way, he made you to remember. Why? He made you to remember him. He commands you to remember who he is and what he has accomplished for you. It is the memory of God that keeps all of your other memories in perspective. The Lord will make right and wipe away the tears from all that is painful and destructive. His great goodness reminds […]
Like you, the Psalmist had his crazy, challenging days! There were days that life didn’t make sense. There were days when the unexpected became normal. Life’s craziness overwhelmed to the point of distraction, even to the point of saying “God, where are you?” But even as these thoughts threatened to crush him, the Psalmist returned to what he knew was true, what he knew he could trust… The Holy Spirit has given us a window into the Psalmist’s heart during a difficult, crazy time in his life. Let’s look at this portion of Psalm 42: In the middle of his discouragement he realizes the waves are God’s waves. He feels desperate and alone. Still, he recognizes his God has not […]
Requiring exact, immediate, pleasant obedience is a huge blessing. This establishes the parent’s God-given authority and helps children to see the value of honoring God’s authority. However, it is possible allow children to become the center of the home and allow them to assume command. So it is important to ask, “who’s in charge?” Here is an example, that borders on the absurd, of what happens when a child is in charge: Mom asks her almost six-year-old son, Justin, to open the front door to let some fresh air in through the screen door. Justin replies, “Mommy, I’ll just turn on the fan instead.” “No, I want you to open the door now.” “Mommy, please can we just turn on […]
There is nothing safe about the path leads to safety. Following God requires courage and boldness. There are enemies on every side, both spiritual and earthly. Living as children of light angers the forces of darkness. Jesus says that before we can live, we must die to ourselves. Raising children is a wonderful blessing, but the journey is not a safe one. To tell your kids about God’s goodness and faithfulness requires courage and boldness. The pursuit of God is not safe, but it is only way to safety. It was not safe for the Israelites to be circumcised just before entering into battle with the Canaanites. The whole army was in pain and vulnerable to attack because they obeyed […]
Your six-year-old has become so obsessed with wanting his brother’s radio controlled car that he has made himself sick whining and complaining about it. There is a reason the Holy Spirit warns against grumbling and complaining. This familiar scenario does not seem as shocking as the story of a teenager obsessed with pornography. However, the attitudes that fuel the teenager’s lust and obsession are the same ones that control your six-year old. This point must not be missed. You must connect the dots of self-pity in your young children with the self-pity of teenagers caught up in sins like pornography and substance abuse. Don’t dismiss self-pity as a passing stage. Whining in young children is the early warning sign of […]