“Stop bothering your sister.” “Why?” “Because it is not nice to do that to her.” “Well, she is not nice to me. Why should I be nice to her?” “God says you should be nice to her.” “Well, then, you should tell her that. If she starts being nice to me, I’ll be nice to her. Its not like I am hurting her or anything.” “But that is not how it works. You should do what God wants no matter how your sister responds.” “So, what do I do when you get mad and yell at me?” “You shouldn’t talk to me like that!” “Why? I am not being disrespectful or mad, I just asked you a question.” “You just […]
Teenagers
144 posts
Parents, it is your choice. You can be your child’s adversary or you can be his refuge. Someone might be thinking, “Wait a minute, my teenager is the adversary, not me. And if he wants refuge, then he needs to start acting like he wants that!” As a father of five children, I hear you. But stay with me. Teenage life can be challenging. The impact of a Godless culture, education that is rooted in pragmatism, sexual immorality being peddled as tolerance and bodies morphing into young adults is a lot to face. Add to this the struggles of their own sins and the teenage years can be troubling ones. Parents, here is what must not be missed; the Christian […]
Philippians is a book that talks about resolving conflict. In Chapter 2 we find the following admonition: Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. From these words we learn that considering others to be more significant than we are is essential to heal the wounds of conflict. Of course, when we do experience conflict, considering the other person as more significant than ourselves is often the last thing on our minds. This is especially true of conflicts with your teenager. So, what does it look like to consider others more significant than yourself? […]
It is no secret teenagers face powerful temptations. Parents want to make sure that consequences are in place to help protect their children. It is good to put deterrents in place for behavior that is unacceptable and sinful. But, for your teenager, still it comes down to that moment of decision; is the consequence enough to make a difference? For example, Kevin, a young teenage boy has an opportunity to be alone with Tiffany, a girl with a reputation for being sexually active. If he thinks that he might get caught and his parents will find out, or that he might get a sexually-transmitted disease, he might decide not to be with her. However, suppose she entices him into […]
This is a serious question for teenagers! Not looking for any adult pleasing answers, just what you really think. And as a follow up question, does it matter to you if you think he knows what is going inside your head? I think the answer to these questions is really a big deal, for you and for God. Based upon your answers I will put together some posts that attempt to deal with your answers and come up with some more questions. Thank you for considering this. I promise I won’t give you a hard time based upon what you say. I will try to give you honest feedback. Parents, feel free to pass this on to […]
Indulging sensual desires has become an entitlement for young people. The message is loud and persistent: You can have it. You can have it now. You deserve it. Advertising that targets our nation’s youth is built on these three components of youthful desires or lusts. A cultural shift has occurred. It is one that is based on gratifying youthful desire. Having sex outside of marriage is the new social normal. Virginity is an indication of a dysfunctional personality. The notion of drinking responsibly doesn’t mean restraint, it means finding a designated driver. Products from hamburgers to whatever are sold with one message – you deserve this. Against this rising tide, a plea that says “don’t do that!”, comes across as […]
An unexpected temptation arises in the life of your teenager. He or she was not planning to make a life-altering decision, but the moment arrived nonetheless. When this moment occurs, your teenager will ask one of two questions: “What am I going to do?” “What does God want me to do?” Joseph was confronted by a passionate and powerful woman demanding to have sex. He was alone in a pagan land. Rejecting the advances of this woman would surely bring unpleasant consequences. Yet he had just one question on his mind: “How could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” So, Joseph literally ran from the temptation before him. He was more […]
You observe your teenager talking a mile-a-minute with friends. Then you think about the typical conversations that you have had with your son or daughter. Instead of a lively back and forth your attempts at conversation tend to collapse into strained monosyllables.: Did you have a good day? Sort of. How was your test? Okay. Do you have homework? Maybe. Do you have plans this weekend? Not sure. Is anything bothering you? No. Did you clean your room? Not yet. I thought maybe we could talk later on. Why. What did you think of the sermon? It was okay. Why are you so hard to talk to? Aw, mom. You respond […]
Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger. Jesus tells the story of a father and his two sons. The father asks his first son to go work in the vineyard. The first son responds with a defiant no. So, the father asks his other son the same question. This son, in sharp contrast, respectfully says that he will do what his father asked. So, on the surface of things, it appears one son is rebellious and one is obedient. This much is true, but not in the way it appears. In the story Jesus quickly adds that the first son changed his mind and actually did as he was asked. The other son never went […]
Biblical grace is the strongest possible deterrent to sin. For parents this means if rules become more important than your relationship with your teenager you lose the opportunity to display grace. In other words, a broken rule must not result in a broken relationship! In my life, the times that I have been most appreciative of God’s grace are the times when I have been most aware of my sin. Is this true for your teenager? When you address their sin are you most interested in showing grace or reminding them of how wrong they are? “Why have you, once again, not finished your homework, or cleaned your room, or not cut the grass? You know we have a rule, […]