The demand for instant gratification is destructive. This pattern, if not stopped, will result in a life dominated by the desire for immediate gratification. Immediate gratification is the gateway to a life of destructive, abusive relationships, pornography, substance abuse, abusive behavior.
If you hear your child frequently complain or grumble, you are hearing a child who is becoming a slave to his own desires.
Sin feeds on the desire for immediate happiness. That is why a child can go from seeming bliss to outrage in an eye blink. One moment everything is fine. Then he sees his brother with a toy that he wants and he immediately erupts with a howl that sounds like he is being tortured. Why? Because he doesn’t have what he wants, what he thinks he deserves.
Complaining and grumbling are not compatible with a life of praise. The Bible teaches that God is a faithful God who does no wrong, who is always to be praised. (Deuteronomy 32:3-5; Philippians 2:14-15) If God is always faithful, there is no room for grumbling and complaining.
Complaining is the opposite of praise. Praise is being aware of and motivated by God’s constant goodness and grace. Telling a child to stop complaining will not stop the advance of this corrosive sin. Only praise and gratitude to God for his faithfulness can do that.
This is why praise is a constant theme throughout the Psalms and the epistles. We are commanded to praise because if we do not praise we revert to our natural desires, we complain.
Just as you teach your child not to yell or to put others first or to come quickly when called or not to steal or to be quiet or to share or not to lie, you must also teach them to praise. None of these actions are natural for your children. They all require the life-changing power of Christ. This is why Paul says to raise your children in fear and admonition of the Lord.
You do not know when God will work in your child’s heart to turn his obedience to you as parents, into the genuine obedience that comes from a new heart. That is not up to you. In faithfulness you must lovingly encourage all that God has commanded, trusting that he will use these confrontations to bring your child to Christ.
Praise is the attitude that must replace complaining. Ask God to work that first in you and then in your children.
“I want it now”, is about pleasing self.
Praising God is about dying to self.
6 thoughts on “I want it now!”
Great post! I went through my childhood years not even knowing that complaining was a sin. Even as an adult, it has been such a struggle to break free from seeing the negative in life versus the positive. I’m trying to raise my boys differently. “Do everything without complaining or arguing.” – Philippians 2:14… that Awana song (verse) goes through my head all the time. It helps to think of complaining as the opposite of praise. Thank-you!
How do you teach that.
Essentially when there is the opportunity to complain there is also the opportunity for praise. If a child complains about not having a particular toy, there is an opportunity to be thankful and praise God for the toys he does have. If he is upset with his brother he can praise God that he has the opportunity to return good for evil. It is a matter of perspective.
Thank you so much for this. I prayed about this today because of the very issue I was having with my son. God showed me this! Thank you Lord!
Thank you so much for this. We are battling this with our soon to be 9-year-old son who has some learning disabilities and anxiety disorder. It is so difficult sometimes to get him to listen to reason and logic. Our hope is not lost, not even close. We have God on our side and need to remind ourselves of no complaining too when he is not being obedient. Thank you for the wisdom.
Wow. I have three boys and they constantly fight so I try top teach then what God ‘ s word says. Thanks for this