If you love biblically, then your love for others will not be diminished by their failures. When love is all about you, bad things happen. Love must be defined by God, specifically by the work of his son, Jesus. The Holy Spirit tells us that we know what love is by how Jesus loved (1 John 3:16). By looking at Christ we see that love is other-centered and God-centered, not me-centered.
This means radical rethinking regarding the nature of love.
Love is not about what makes you feel good or happy. Love is dying to your wants, your desires, your dreams. Only by loving Jesus first can anyone experience this sort of love. Thus, genuine love is not consistent with disappointment. When love is focused on what you want, on personal needs and desires, disappointment is certain to follow. There are at least two reasons for this.
The first is that other people cannot possibly provide what is needed for your happiness. At some point, others will fail you. They will sin against you. They will fail you. You will be hurt. No person can provide you with what only God can give. God will never fail you.
The second reason is that your idea of what will please you is tainted by sin. So your efforts to love often turn into bitterness. Your desire for others to be pleased with your “love” for them is really just a form of manipulation. Your unmet expectations then become opportunities for bitterness and disappointment.
But love that is focused on bringing honor to God will never be disappointed. It will never manipulate. For example, your spouse responds to your kindness with indifference. Does this response negate your act of love? Your teenager fails to complete something even though you asked in a respectful, gracious manner. Does it make you angry and leave you questioning why you even bothered to be kind and gracious? If it did then your action wasn’t really loving. It was an attempt to make your teenager appreciate you. These are not demonstrations of love, it is manipulation!
However, if you know your actions were done to bring honor to God, you don’t have to be dominated by hurt. Rather you can be motivated by compassion. You can return good for evil and show that your love is not motivated by self-pleasure but by true commitment to God.
Loving biblically is a tremendous blessing of God and will bring stability to your life and the lives of those around you.