Most discipline issues appear to come at inconvenient times. The truth is that it is never the wrong time to teach your children about their need of Christ. Really! This is the point of all discipline.
This is why you want to be use words with restraint and with an even-temper. You don’t want to say anything that distracts from the main message of Christ by using worn out phrases such as these:
How many times have I told you not to…
When will you ever learn…
Enough is enough…
Can’t you see that I’m busy..
How old are you…
It never ends…
Who did it…
Why can’t you just…
Now you’ve done it…
If you would just obey…
This makes God unhappy…
That’s it…
These responses are not really thought out – they flow from frustration. They roll off your tongue without thinking. They are words that are best not spoken. Rather, it is good to speak words that encourage your children to trust Christ. Instead of the above phrases, focus on pointing to Christ. Try using words like these:
You know I love you. I know it is easy to trust yourself instead of God. Remember how we talked about that?
It is frustrating to try and obey in your own strength, isn’t it? Let’s ask God for help right now.
No matter how many times we mess up, God will always hear you and help you.
Thank you for asking for help, it is really cool to help you trust Jesus for strength to obey.
I know it is really hard to trust God sometimes, let’s talk with him about it right now.
These words are pleasant words. They are consistent with wanting God’s best for your children. They are words that build and encourage. These words are words of restraint. They are words that show your love and respect for God and for your child.
The wise are known for their understanding,
and pleasant words are persuasive.
Discretion is a life-giving fountain to those who possess it,
but discipline is wasted on fools.
From a wise mind comes wise speech;
the words of the wise are persuasive.
Kind words are like honey—
sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.
Proverbs 16:21-24
For more thorough insight on pleasant words see Instructing a Child’s Heart and Everyday Talk from Shepherdpress.com.
2 thoughts on “Pleasant Words”
Love this. Thanks for posting.
Thank you so very much for this blog. I have 3 boys a 22 yr old a 16 yr old and a 4 yr old. I was not given any tools to raise these boys.. no instruction book lol this helps me tremendously. I am Thankful because right now the teen years are the hardest. Its like this 16 yr old is not the boy I raised. I will try this loving way to communicate with him. Thank you. God Bless