Sin is devastating. An eight-year-old tries to be kind to his older sister. She responds with, “That was stupid!” Michael is crushed. He tried so hard to be nice and got trashed in return. Michael is tempted to engage in self-pity. Thankfully, Michael’s mom observed the confrontation and took quick action. After Mom addressed the poor response of his sister, she asked Michael this question: “How cool would it be if you and your sister were happy with each other?” Michael responded, “I would love that.” “Michael, that’s wonderful! Did you know that Jesus wants you to ask him for that very thing; that you two would be happy with each other?” “I guess, but that would never happen!” “Michael, I […]
Monthly Archives: October 2018
14 posts
Your six-year-old has become so obsessed with wanting his brother’s new toy that he has convinced himself that he is being treated with extreme cruelty because he can’t have it. By allowing self-pity to grow this child’s parents are raising someone who will become a slave to lust. This is the reason the Holy Spirit warns against grumbling and complaining. This scenario does not seem as shocking as the story of a teenager obsessed with pornography. However, the attitudes that fuel the teenager’s lust and obsession are the same ones that control your six-year old. This point must not be missed. You must connect the dots of self-pity in your young children with the self-pity of teenagers enslaved by sins […]
God ordered that Fall would arrive on schedule in late September. And, it did. But once the sun moved past the equator changes began to happen as the intensity of sunlight shifted southward. Each year the impact of Fall is realized, at least for me, sometime after the equator is crossed. So today, I sense the spirit of Fall has come. Today a damp, cold rain is preparing the leaves for their annual display of color signifying the beauty of death and renewal. The spirit of fall speaks of hope that can only come when we let go of what we hold dear and seek the renewing grace of Christ’s redemption. Fall’s colors are bold and stunning. Then the colors […]
Kevin, a teenage boy, has an opportunity to be alone with Tiffany, a girl that he is attracted to. If he thinks that he might get caught and his parents will find out, or that he might get a sexually-transmitted disease, he might decide not to be with her. However, suppose he thinks no one will find out and he can use protection to keep him safe. In addition, he and Tiffany have devised the “perfect” plan to hide their encounter. Thus, the fear of consequence fades against the powerful lure of temptation. It is no secret teenagers face powerful temptations. Parents want to make sure that consequences are in place to help protect their children. And it is good […]
Protecting your children is the obligation of a faithful parent. However, there is the false notion that children should be protected from every danger and uncertainty of life. That simply is not possible! There is too much uncertainty in life, too much which is beyond your control to protect . Yet, the temptation to worry about all of the things from which you cannot protect your children persists. You cannot shield your children from life itself or even from their own hearts. The storms in Matthew 7 come to the wise and the unwise alike. Until you go to be with Christ, sin and uncertainty will be a part of life. Do you want children to worry needlessly? Of course […]
Your middle-schooler wants to hang out with friends that are not a good influence for her. She is unhappy. Your teenager is frustrated with restrictions that you believe are wise. He thinks you are being unfair and has no problem letting you know about it. In response, you don’t want to communicate you are ultimate authority. You just want to be a safe refuge for your kids. But you know the choices your children make are not always the best ones. And you know that God has tasked you with the responsibility of leading your children to follow his word. You know that is what is best for them. You know that parenting is not about you and what you […]
We are heartbroken by the number of women and men in our churches who suffer silently. For so many of us, the silence is deafening. Our hearts’ desire is that Treasure in the Ashes will be a voice of hope for those who suffer (whom we call learning friends) and a means of equipping those who want to help (whom we call leading friends). Our workbook is an instrument for local churches and Christian friendships to discover places of refuge and healing as we learn to bear one another’s burdens, not just emotionally, but purposefully. Treasure in the Ashes was designed with the one another relationships of the Bible in mind, because we believe that lasting hope and healing are […]
“There, I told them that was the last time! I finally got fed up and did something about their disrespect and disobedience. Maybe this will change their attitude. Yes, I was angry, but something needed to be done!” Mom might feel good for the moment, but she has actually made things worse. Human anger and biblical discipline do not mix. Your anger will not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (James 1:20) God did not give you your children so that you could teach them to follow your desires and wishes. When you make parenting about your rules, even if they are helpful, then, in your child’s mind, God exists to serve you, to support your agenda. When […]
“Be safe!” This is frequently the last thing you say to your children when they leave the house. Often the plan for their safety doesn’t go much beyond theses words. Yes, you have taught them to be good drivers, you have told them which situations they should avoid, and you may have even encouraged them to pray for God’s protection. But in your heart, if you think too long about it, there is a nagging fear for your children’s safety, a fear that goes beyond just physical safety. You hope they will be make safe choices in selecting friends and in the activities they do. However, you know the true dangers your children face. They are the same ones that […]
Janet was fussing at her children. Well, actually, she was fuming. But the reason for her upset had nothing to do with the kids. She was in charge of planning a special luncheon for the ladies at church. Two women had not yet called her back to confirm that they had their responsibilities taken care of. Suppose one or both of them couldn’t come through! What was she going to do? Janet was worried and stressed and she didn’t have time for any drama with kids. Everyone believes that worry is not a good thing. Worry increases stress and leads to anxiety. Worry makes us less pleasant to be around, just like Janet. We know this. Yet we still worry. […]