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Archive for the 'Parenting' Category

Discipline and faith

Posted on April 20th, 2018 · Posted in Anger, Communication, Parenting, Wisdom

  Biblical discipline is an expression of God’s love and mercy to his children. As God lovingly, gracefully disciplines us, we as parents are to give this same warm discipline to our children. It is huge that you, as a parent, see discipline as something that is positive and not punitive. Discipline is not about retribution or getting even. Discipline has the goal of producing peace. Without that goal, discipline becomes a manipulative tool that will only provide separation with your children. It is just as huge that you administer.. read more

Fathers, fear, and self-interest

Posted on April 16th, 2018 · Posted in Authority, Communication, Discipline, Parenting

Men, our legacy since the fall is that we tend to either be indifferent or become angry at our children’s sin.  Both responses are dangerous and destructive. When it comes to relationships, men are often intimidated and become fearful, even if we may project the opposite emotions. The two most damaging male responses, indifference and anger, stem front the same root cause – fear and self-interest. We become indifferent in order to mask our fear of not knowing what we should do. We often become angry because we have lost.. read more

Is God mad at me?

Posted on April 13th, 2018 · Posted in Communication, Gospel, Parenting, Wisdom

Do your kids think that God is only pleased with them if they obey? Do your kids think that the gospel means that they must be good so God will love them? Do your kids think that they must be good for you to like them, for you to love and delight in them? To answer these questions listen to the way your children talk about the gospel. You may be thinking that children seldom talk about the gospel. But actually, they do. Listen to your children talk. Listen to.. read more

Video: “The Gospel for Moving Targets” by Nancy Snyder

Posted on April 13th, 2018 · Posted in Instructing, Parenting, Wisdom

Now available for pre-order; ships late April / early May. The Gospel for Moving Targets is a large-format activity book that is a resource for parents and teachers to bring meaningful biblical and gospel-centered teaching to children. These hands-on devotional lessons are designed for children who struggle to sit still, keep quiet, pay attention, follow directions, and control their emotions. These lessons are also designed to help parents and teachers who love such children aim the gospel at the hearts of moving targets. Features and Benefits Curriculum for teaching the.. read more

You were born to fight

Posted on April 8th, 2018 · Posted in Communication, Criticism_, Parenting

You were born to fight. James puts it this way: “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” It is time to stop being surprised that you and the people you love are inclined to fight. This has been reality since the Garden. We all have a part of our brother Cain embedded in us. So the question is not why do you fight, but how can you stop fighting. Here is at least one answer: consider others, especially the ones.. read more

The gospel and discipline

Posted on March 23rd, 2018 · Posted in Discipline, Gospel, Parenting

Parents don’t often think of the gospel and discipline in the same sentence. Typically, we tend to think that discipline is what you do now and the gospel is what you hope your children will embrace in the future. But Paul has a different understanding of the place of the gospel. For him, the gospel is the foundation, the hope of all of life for Christians (see Colossians 1:21-23). This means that your parental discipline must rooted and built upon the gospel. Just as you know that you can’t make.. read more

Enough Is Enough!

Posted on March 16th, 2018 · Posted in Authority, Communication, Parenting, Wisdom

Ephesians 4:31 & 32 are seldom used as parenting directives. This is unfortunate. There is a powerful dynamic of grace here to help shepherd your children towards Christ. Read these words slowly: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Because of the gospel grace shown to you, Paul is directing you to rid your thoughts and your speech of the angry words of.. read more

Protect your children

Posted on March 14th, 2018 · Posted in Authority, Parenting, Wisdom

Will my child honor God when I am not with him? This one question is the weighty challenge that every parent faces. It is unsettling because you won’t know until the moment comes. This is humbling, you are confronted with your limitations as a parent and as a Christian. When the moment comes it will be between your child and God. You won’t be there, you won’t be in control. Scary. How can you protect your children in these critical moments? The answer is: you can’t! But God’s truth can… read more

The making of a tyrant

Posted on March 12th, 2018 · Posted in Authority, Parenting

Requiring exact, immediate, pleasant obedience is a huge blessing.  This establishes the parent’s God-given authority and helps children to see the value of honoring God’s authority. However, it is possible allow children to become the center of the home and allow them to assume command. So it is important to ask, “who’s in charge?” Here is an example, that hopefully, borders on the absurd, of what happens when a child is in charge: Mom asks her almost six-year-old son, Justin, to open the front door to let some fresh air.. read more

5 Proverbs to encourage parents

Posted on March 9th, 2018 · Posted in Authority, Communication, Parenting, Proverbs

Proverbs 16 has important direction for anyone in authority, especially parents. These insights help to establish authority and strengthen your parental authority. Here are some selected Proverbs from this chapter: Commit to the LORD whatever
 you do and your plans will succeed. (Verse 3) This is the starting point. The commitment indicated here is totally to the Lord Lord because of your love for him is the focus of life. This is not so much about achieving a single objective as it is about committing all of your life to.. read more

Teach your kids to love God

Posted on March 8th, 2018 · Posted in Gospel, Parenting

Whether you read Deuteronomy, Isaiah, Matthew or Colossians, the first thing that God requires is that he is to be loved. Too often, when it comes to raising children, loving God is tacked on as an after-thought to obedience. The thought process may run like this: “I can’t force my children to love God, so I will teach them to obey, because I can require that.” Requiring obedience from your children appears to be a more doable task than requiring them to love God. After all, reaching the heart of.. read more

Consequences: punishment or nourishment.

Posted on March 5th, 2018 · Posted in Parenting, Teenagers, Wisdom

What kind of correction works best with teenagers? This is a generational quandary! What is the best way to positively address the areas in their lives where they need growth and direction? The time-honored favorite method of correction is consequences! But, the issue is what kind of consequences? If consequences nourish and build up a young person, this is a good thing and qualifies as biblical discipline. In case you are questioning where the idea of nourishment comes from, look with me at Ephesians 6:4: “Fathers, do not provoke your.. read more

Discipline or punishment: do your children know the difference?

Posted on February 27th, 2018 · Posted in Communication, Discipline, Gospel, Parenting

There is a huge difference between punishment and discipline. Since children are born wanting to go their own way, every parent engages in some form of correction. That correction will either take the form of punishment or discipline. Punishment is about retribution, payment for wrong doing. Punishment produces insecurity and fear. Biblical discipline on the other hand produces security and peace. The reason for the difference is that biblical discipline is motivated and controlled by love, the love of Christ. Only the love of Christ can remove punishment. As I.. read more

Your children are designed for trust

Posted on February 23rd, 2018 · Posted in Gospel, Parenting

Adam was designed by God from the inside out to trust his heavenly Father. That trust was so complete that it defined Adam as a person. He was totally secure in God’s presence even as he stood naked before the holy King of the universe. But the instant Adam gave up that trust, he became a pathetic coward who in shame and fear refused to protect his wife and honor his God. Adam went from security to fear in a heartbeat. He became a creature he was never designed to.. read more

A grumpy son

Posted on February 18th, 2018 · Posted in Communication, Parenting

Mom just asked nine-year-old Ryan to watch his two younger sisters while she finished getting ready for company dinner. Ryan responds slowly. Instead of forcing the issue in a way that would certainly lead to discipline, mom calls Ryan over to the couch to sit with her. (Parenting is not an automated routine. In another instance, pursuing direct discipline might have been appropriate. Here mom is exercising wisdom as to how to best help Ryan where he is right now.) “Ryan, It is has been a hard day, huh?” “I.. read more

How to encourage children to despise themselves

Posted on January 27th, 2018 · Posted in Authority, Parenting, Proverbs

It seems like such a simple thing. You ask your child to do something and in response, he quietly keeps playing with his toy. You decide to press on, so you ask again, this time a little more firmly, and then one more time. Your four-year-old grudgingly, slowly does as he was told. You breathe a sigh of relief, no harm done, at least he obeyed. But actually this little boy has taken a step down the road to self-hatred. Solomon warns that those who disregard discipline despise themselves. What.. read more

Obeying Imperfect Parents

Posted on January 25th, 2018 · Posted in Authority, Parenting

Parental authority has fallen on hard times! Authority is seen as something to question, not respect. Unlike our culture, however, the Bible makes a big deal about obeying parents. The Holy Spirit does this from two different perspectives. One is blessing. If children obey their parents as Ephesians instructs they will be blessed and do well in life on the earth. In contrast in Romans, being disobedient to parents is included on a list of sins that indicates intense hatred of God. This list includes sexual perversions, inventors of evil,.. read more

Delight In God’s Commands — Really?

Posted on January 17th, 2018 · Posted in Authority, Parenting, Shaping Influences

Law and delight — these are two words seldom seen as companions. You can have the law or you can have fun. Young people excited about God’s laws is not exactly the first thought that comes to mind. Instruction over iPads? I don’t think so. These comments are both comical and sad. Why? Because they both ring true. We don’t typically expect our young people to be excited about obeying God. And you can agree there is sadness connected to this fact. So how do we address this? Allow me.. read more

Doing good to get good

Posted on January 15th, 2018 · Posted in Authority, Parenting

Manipulation is a subtle trap that will lead you and your children away from the grace of God and the gospel. Jesus delivers a subtle warning in the Sermon on the Mount about the danger of manipulation. Look at Luke 6:32-33: “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.  And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that…” Manipulation is doing good to get something.. read more

A necklace to adorn

Posted on January 9th, 2018 · Posted in Parenting, Uncategorized, Wisdom

You care about your children. You want to protect them from harm. So you take the obvious precautions: you use car seats, you dress them in warm clothing, you install a security system, you take them to the doctor, you do everything possible to keep them physically safe. The same care must be given to protect their hearts. You want to protect them from the deception of the world, the flesh, and the devil. However, it is only God’s word that can accomplish this! Solomon says as much when he.. read more