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Archive for the 'Parenting' Category

When Father’s Day hurts

Posted on June 17th, 2017 · Posted in Parenting

Father’s Day is a pleasant day for me and my brothers. We recall the good example of our dad, his unselfish commitment to us. It is a kind remembrance. But, I also know not everyone has such comforting and grateful memories. For many, this yearly remembrance is a difficult, sad and even bitter time. Fathers don’t always live out their God-given mission of care and protection. Instead of memories of joy, emptiness and discouragement dominate. Thoughts drift towards what could have been, what should have been. Father’s Day becomes a.. read more

Dads, what are you giving for Father’s Day?

Posted on June 16th, 2017 · Posted in Parenting

This is a serious question: fathers what are you giving to your family for Father’s Day? I know, you are thinking I have this backwards. Father’s Day is supposed to be about fathers being appreciated. And that is good. But it doesn’t mean that we get to take a break from being faithful to God and loving to our families. So, this is a good time to reflect on what you can give. Here are some ideas: Pleasant words: Pleasant words encourage and strengthen. Proverbs 16:2—24 Gentleness: A gentle spirt.. read more

Don’t be a Disengaged Dad

Posted on June 15th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting

Dads, God calls you to be active and not reactive in raising your kids. Ephesians 6:4 is a familiar verse, maybe almost too familiar. Here is what Paul says: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” The phrase “bring them up” is not just a throw-away term. It is actually the same wording used earlier when Paul says husbands should “nourish and cherish” their wives just as they do for themselves. This meaning puts an active focus.. read more

Repost: The Mercy of Biblical Discipline

Posted on June 13th, 2017 · Posted in Discipline, Parenting

Biblical discipline has to do with love and delight, not primarily accountability and control. Biblical discipline is not about fairness, it is about mercy. Biblical discipline is not about treating children as their sins deserve. Would you really ask God to treat you as your sins deserve? If you don’t want God to treat you with fairness, then don’t make fairness the standard of your parenting. How much of the wonder and mercy of biblical discipline do you communicate to your children? Stay with me here! I am not advocating.. read more

Repost: The Manipulation Game

Posted on June 9th, 2017 · Posted in Gospel, Parenting

Jesus delivers a subtle warning in the Sermon on the Mount about the danger of manipulation. Look at Luke 6:32-33: “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.  And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that…” If you do good to get something good you are involved in manipulation. So, if your parental discipline is primarily designed to make things at home go more.. read more

Repost: Flee and Pursue

Posted on June 7th, 2017 · Posted in Godward Orientation, Parenting, Sanctification, Shaping Influences, Teenagers

Indulging sensual desires has become an entitlement for young people.  The message is loud and persistent: You can have it. You can have it now. You deserve it. Advertising that targets our nation’s youth is built on these three components of youthful desires or lusts. A cultural shift has occurred. It is one that is based on gratifying youthful desire. Having sex outside of marriage is the new social normal. Virginity is an indication of a dysfunctional personality.  The notion of drinking responsibly doesn’t mean restraint, it means finding a.. read more

Repost: A Daily Prayer for Troubled Times

Posted on June 5th, 2017 · Posted in Parenting, Prayer

Here is a prayer to pray with your family as you begin the day. It is modeled on the prayer Jesus taught to his disciples. Dear Father, we need your help this day. Our world is a mess. But you are holy and worthy of our praise.  We ask that your kingdom will come with power to our family, our lives, our country and our world.  There are many things that trouble us. There are threats of war, disease, terrorism and unrest. We pray that your will be in charge.. read more

New Interview with Jay Younts

Posted on May 31st, 2017 · Posted in Parenting, Teenagers

Yesterday, Jay Younts was interviewed about his recent book, Everyday Talk About Sex & Marriage, on the Knowing the Truth radio program with Pastor Kevin Boling. You can listen to the interview either at Sermon Audio, or by using the player below. Learn more & purchase here

Mothers

Posted on May 14th, 2017 · Posted in Holidays, Parenting

A time to celebrate, a time to cry, a time of sweet memories, a time to forget, a time of thanks, a time of regret, a time of anticipation, a time of disappointment. Mother’s Day is all of these things and more. Mothers are part of God’s great plan that binds all of us together in the fabric of life. Mothers are not just some random adaptation of a blind evolutionary scheme. God designed the human race to come from one mother, Eve, and from one father, Adam. At one.. read more

Obedience: a response to grace

Posted on May 8th, 2017 · Posted in Gospel, Parenting

Obedience is not something that can be used to obtain grace. Rather, obedience is a response to grace. Just as I cannot make myself more acceptable to God by my obedience, neither do I want my children to think that I will be more accepting of them because of their obedience. Your children must not think that you will be more accepting of them just because they obey you. I know, saying it like this seems awkward. So much of your life is about training and teaching God’s truth.  But.. read more

From your heart to their hearts

Posted on April 27th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting

The first obligation of any parent is to love God with all that you have to give. This is the meaning of the words in Deuteronomy 6:5-7 where the Holy Spirit, through Moses, instructs parents how to lead their children to follow God. Nothing less than a full-on commitment to love God is in view. These words are passionate words! God calls for you to be all-in when it comes to telling your children about him. God will not be an after-thought or an add-on to your parenting. “Love the.. read more

There is more to life than being safe and legal

Posted on April 20th, 2017 · Posted in Parenting

Rules and parenting are things that go together. But there is more to life than rules. Rules, by themselves, will not produce spiritual maturity. What rules may do is keep you safe and keep you from breaking laws. But God wants you to have more than that. Relying primarily on a set of rules to govern your family is toxic. Paul warns you about being taken captive by the human traditions of this world. Here is his warning found in Colossians two: “See to it that no one takes you.. read more

Encouragement builds relationships

Posted on April 5th, 2017 · Posted in Parenting

Encouragement is not primarily about solving problems. Encouragement builds relationships. It is primarily about engaging in thoughts and activities that bring honor to God. In Philippians 4:8-9, Paul urges you to focus on things that are excellent and praiseworthy. Here are two practical examples of doing this: Two young children are fussing and complaining. Negative response: “Why can’t you two just be quiet! Being noisy and fussy is a distraction to everybody in this house. I don’t want to hear any more unpleasantness, and I mean it! Do you understand?!?”.. read more

Pornography: a virus that is redefining relationships and marriage

Posted on March 29th, 2017 · Posted in Culture, Parenting

Tim Challies argues that “pornography reshapes our very understanding of sex, manhood, and womanhood.” Tim is right. Pornography views people as objects whose purpose is to serve the wants and desires of others. Relationships are valued for what pleasure they produce. Pornography ignites a passion for self-gratification and little else. Our children are growing up at a time where self-sacrifice is viewed as fool’s game. Sex exists to serve personal cravings. In this cultural climate all relationships suffer, but none more painfully than marriage. Tim Challies has written an essential.. read more

Through the eyes of your child

Posted on March 8th, 2017 · Posted in Parenting, Sanctification, Shaping Influences, Uncategorized

Instruction and correction can easily be misunderstood. This is particularly the case when parental authority is being exercised. When correcting your children you can give them the impression that you are delighting in their failure, or that you are fixated on their shortcomings. Since disciplined training in righteousness must be thorough and ongoing, a child may think that your only purpose is to delight in telling him how wrong he is. This is where you have to look at your child’s world through his eyes. It is huge that in.. read more

Gentleness, much more than a personality trait

Posted on March 6th, 2017 · Posted in Godward Orientation, Parenting

Gentleness is probably not on the top of your list of important, immediate goals to accomplish. Perhaps this is because you see gentleness primarily as a personality trait. This is the point where gentleness is often misunderstood. Gentleness is all about the wise use of power. This is huge for parents. God’s purpose for each of us is to continue growing in maturity in order to become more like Christ (Ephesians 4:13). Christ describes himself as being gentle. Gentleness is part of the Holy Spirit’s fruit that each of us.. read more

Gentle or harsh, wise or foolish

Posted on February 22nd, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting, Proverbs, Wisdom

It is late in the day. You’re tired, no, make that exhausted. Your head is pounding. It’s time to fix dinner. At this moment that seems the equivalent of climbing Mt. Everest in flip-flops and beach shorts. And at this precise moment a dispute breaks out about who has the gaming screen next. So you do the only thing that you seems possible. In a sharp, stern voice that is loud, but not quite yelling, you say: “That’s enough! I’ve had it. You want dinner? Then sit down, give me.. read more

David’s plea to his son

Posted on February 18th, 2017 · Posted in Parenting, Wisdom

Solomon grew up in a world of sin, family drama, sexual sin, murder and political intrigue. David, his father, wanted Solomon to not be caught in the same web that had entangled him. The Holy Spirit has been gracious to us to record some of the things David said Solomon should value. David wanted Solomon to be consumed with the pursuit of wisdom. He wanted his son to emotionally, passionately embrace wisdom. He even told Solomon even if it costs you all that you have get understanding and wisdom. Would.. read more

Rotten intentions

Posted on February 10th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting, Teenagers

When there is interpersonal conflict we are often discouraged because our intentions are misunderstood. What we must remember is that our intentions don’t count. The person you are talking with is not a mind reader. What matters is how are our thoughts perceived. An intention that does not translate into being a benefit to someone is a rotten intention. Ephesians 4:29 Don’t let a single rotten word come from your mouths, but rather, whatever is good for constructively meeting problems that arise, so that your words may help those who.. read more

Self-control: the gateway to joy and peace

Posted on January 30th, 2017 · Posted in Parenting, Wisdom

Self-control: the gateway to joy and peace Self-control is the fruit of the Spirit. It is the evidence of the Spirit’s work in the life of God’s people. This means more than just physical or mental discipline. Only someone who is born of the Spirit of God can practice biblical self-control. What this means is that self-control is the way to joy and peace in this life. Here is one biblically based definition of self-control: “Self-control is the ability to say no to my wrong desires and yes to what.. read more