Jesus died for you. He was resurrected for you. He gave you life. He gave you the opportunity to tell your kids how special he is to you. Jesus made a commitment to you. It’s personal! Do your kids know how special he is to you? Here is a way to let them know. You have caught your middle school child in a lie. You have confronted him with his lie and he has admitted it. Then you tell your child something like this: “Justin, I know what it is.. read more
You are angry! Your son just had a minor accident with the car, your golf game for tomorrow got canceled, your neighbor called to remind you your grass is too high and you can’t stop thinking that your boss is giving you too much work and not enough appreciation. You are raising your voice, your face is flushed. If one more crazy thing happens, you will explode! The kids are bracing for the next outburst. Then you feel the buzz from your phone. You look and see it’s your boss,.. read more
The full value of your instruction to your children will not be seen immediately. If you invest in changing your children’s behavior your investment is only for the moment. Results will often be quick and impressive, but they will also be temporary. When behavior is the goal, how well your children perform is the main indicator of success. Investing in behavior brings immediate dividends such as anger, frustration, and manipulation. In contrast, investing in heart change is investing in your children’s future. Heart change is for life. Pleasant words, consistent.. read more
One of life’s hardest lessons is to realize that true satisfaction is found only in God. There are many pretenders but only God is sufficient to give meaning and purpose to your life. Apart from God every single relationship and endeavor you pursue carries the reality of disappointment. One of the cruelest things you can to do is to expect others to provide for you what can only be found in God. No human can bear the weight of being God for you. Practically, what does this mean? Children cannot.. read more
It may be possible to control behavior. However, control of the heart is another matter. As Tedd Tripp teaches, you can shepherd your child’s heart. But you cannot control his heart. So the purpose of your authority as a parent is to shepherd your children, to build them up, to strengthen them. But attempts as controlling children without shepherding them will lead to frustration. Over time attempts at control through rules will lead your children away from Christ (Colossians 2:23). Controlling your children in this way will weaken them and.. read more
Are my children going to heaven? This is the major concern for every Christian parent. If you look to human confirmation for the answer, life will quickly become a roller-coaster ride of ups and downs. The eternal destiny of our children is tied to the faithfulness of God. God alone does what is right and good. God alone, is the savior of people, including our children. As much as we may want to, we cannot force our children to know God. Ultimately the hearts of our children can only be.. read more
Mom: “Stop bothering your sister.” Josh: “Why?” Mom: “Because it upsets her.” Josh: “Good, she needs to be upset. It’s what she does to me!” Mom: “God says you should be nice to her.” Josh: “Well, then, you should tell her to try being nice. It’s not like I am hurting her or anything.” Mom: “But that is not how it works. You should do what God wants no matter how your sister responds.” Josh: “So, what do I do when you get mad and yell at me?” Josh: “You.. read more
Gentleness is God’s answer to conflict. Gentleness is the quality you need to present God’s truth fairly, accurately and effectively to your children. Gentleness is part of the Holy Spirit’s fruit which stands in direct contrast to the works of the flesh. In Proverbs, gentleness turns aside wrath. Paul tells Timothy to instruct his opponents with gentleness. James describes gentleness as displaying wisdom from above. Jesus describes himself as gentle and humble of heart. These are five robust examples of the power of gentleness: Gentleness stands against the deeds of.. read more
“Mommy, Heather was so mean to me today at school. She laughed at me and told me I look dumb. I thought she was my best friend! I am really, really sad. I just want to stay home and not go back, ever.” Your daughter has just experienced how cruel and sad life can be. Your first thought is to protect and defend her from the cruel words. But, then you want to see how God can use this to prepare your daughter for the difficult challenges that life will.. read more
Is it wrong to be bored? Given that boredom is a common complaint, especially with children, this is an important question. When your children announce that they are bored, how can you respond in the way that is most helpful to them? Often the response to an expression of boredom would be, “Well, go find something to do!” But this response is not productive because it does not provide any positive direction. It is important to ask whether it is wrong to be bored. Let’s attempt to answer this question.. read more
The Apostle Paul in I Corinthians 13:5 exposes three patterns that are the enemy of loving your children. These patterns bring anger, frustration and brokenness. They are also connected; one leads to the other. Let’s look at each one: Love is not self-seeking It is foolish to assume that what pleases you and what pleases God are one and the same. For example, do you want a house that is quiet and orderly? Why? Because that is pleasant to you? Or do you want a house full of energy and.. read more
“How many times have I told you not to do that?!?” “Stop doing that, right now!” “Why can’t you obey and do just this one thing?” “You know that you are not supposed to do that!” “If I hear you say that one more time!!” “One thing, why can’t you do just this one thing?!?” Do these statements sound familiar? They are uttered, muttered, shouted and pouted when your child just doesn’t seem to get the point: why can’t she just obey! They are statements of frustration and vexation. The.. read more
The Holy Spirit wants you, commands you to center your thoughts and actions on putting God first in your life. Specifically how does he want you to implement his calling to put God first? He instructed Solomon to urge you to guard your heart, because it is the source of your life. Then he directs Paul to tell you to be in constant prayer and that everything you do should bring honor to God. Few would argue that you should put God first, but how do you practically make.. read more
The Holy Spirit makes a vital connection between adornment and protection! You care about your children. You want to protect them from harm. So you take the obvious precautions: you use car seats, you dress them in warm clothing, you install a security system, you take them to the doctor and you do everything possible to keep them physically safe. But what about spiritual protection? Children who are spiritually adorned are also spiritually protected. It is the fear of the Lord that will keep your children from being deceived by.. read more
Are you helping your children to despise themselves? It is simple thing—you asked your 8-year-old boy to take out the garbage. He doesn’t respond. You reason that maybe he didn’t hear you. So rather than cause a scene, you just ask him later. Then, later comes. So you ask him again, a little more loudly this time. This time he responds and says he will, right after he finishes his game. You tell him you’re good with that and move on. A half-hour later, you see he is still at.. read more
Being a parent is a consuming job. The unexpected and unplanned for circumstances just keep on coming. It is ironic that In the rush of Christmas, Christ can become distant. In Psalm 73, the psalmist had become overwhelmed with the seeming futility of following God. Survival mode had become the norm. But here is the reality that the crush of daily life can obscure—Jesus is right there with you in the middle of the mess of your life! Trusting Christ in the rush of life is what gives stability to.. read more
It’s Christmas! I know, not exactly breaking news. But there is one item that is at the top of the list of “must-have” gifts for your children, Smart Phones! Your kids have a thousand and one reasons why they need a smart phone now: it will help them with school work, they can keep up with their friends so they aren’t isolated, they can keep up with current events, the can follow their favorite sports team and many other “compelling” reasons. Then, of course, there are all the reasons that.. read more
Santa’s Helper? Your children know everything about you. They see when you are sleeping, they know when you have been good or bad, they know when you pout and when you shout. Your kids know all of this without your ever having to say a word. When you stumble and ask God for help — they learn. When you stumble and snap or make excuses — they learn from that, too. If you value your relationship with God above all else, your children will know that as well. What does.. read more
This is part two of a series of posts contrasting discipline with retribution. In the first post of the series, I highlighted this consideration: Biblical discipline must not be seen as payment for the sins for which the discipline was administered. Retribution is not the goal of biblical discipline! In response, the question many of you raised was, “How does this work itself out in everyday family life?” This post will begin to address that question. In the first post, we saw how Psalm 103 provides direction on how to address.. read more
O Lord my God, my Savior, I pray for a heart of thanksgiving. Father, you are my reason for joy even when I fail. You are faithful when I am unfaithful. You promise heaven when I am consumed by the next hour. Protect me from my own selfish desires. I confess that I want what cannot satisfy. I confess that I would rather complain about what is not done than be grateful for what I can do. I confess that I am easily disappointed by those I love even when.. read more
