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Archive for the 'Parenting' Category

Mothers

Posted on May 14th, 2017 · Posted in Holidays, Parenting

A time to celebrate, a time to cry, a time of sweet memories, a time to forget, a time of thanks, a time of regret, a time of anticipation, a time of disappointment. Mother’s Day is all of these things and more. Mothers are part of God’s great plan that binds all of us together in the fabric of life. Mothers are not just some random adaptation of a blind evolutionary scheme. God designed the human race to come from one mother, Eve, and from one father, Adam. At one.. read more

Obedience: a response to grace

Posted on May 8th, 2017 · Posted in Gospel, Parenting

Obedience is not something that can be used to obtain grace. Rather, obedience is a response to grace. Just as I cannot make myself more acceptable to God by my obedience, neither do I want my children to think that I will be more accepting of them because of their obedience. Your children must not think that you will be more accepting of them just because they obey you. I know, saying it like this seems awkward. So much of your life is about training and teaching God’s truth.  But.. read more

From your heart to their hearts

Posted on April 27th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting

The first obligation of any parent is to love God with all that you have to give. This is the meaning of the words in Deuteronomy 6:5-7 where the Holy Spirit, through Moses, instructs parents how to lead their children to follow God. Nothing less than a full-on commitment to love God is in view. These words are passionate words! God calls for you to be all-in when it comes to telling your children about him. God will not be an after-thought or an add-on to your parenting. “Love the.. read more

There is more to life than being safe and legal

Posted on April 20th, 2017 · Posted in Parenting

Rules and parenting are things that go together. But there is more to life than rules. Rules, by themselves, will not produce spiritual maturity. What rules may do is keep you safe and keep you from breaking laws. But God wants you to have more than that. Relying primarily on a set of rules to govern your family is toxic. Paul warns you about being taken captive by the human traditions of this world. Here is his warning found in Colossians two: “See to it that no one takes you.. read more

Encouragement builds relationships

Posted on April 5th, 2017 · Posted in Parenting

Encouragement is not primarily about solving problems. Encouragement builds relationships. It is primarily about engaging in thoughts and activities that bring honor to God. In Philippians 4:8-9, Paul urges you to focus on things that are excellent and praiseworthy. Here are two practical examples of doing this: Two young children are fussing and complaining. Negative response: “Why can’t you two just be quiet! Being noisy and fussy is a distraction to everybody in this house. I don’t want to hear any more unpleasantness, and I mean it! Do you understand?!?”.. read more

Pornography: a virus that is redefining relationships and marriage

Posted on March 29th, 2017 · Posted in Culture, Parenting

Tim Challies argues that “pornography reshapes our very understanding of sex, manhood, and womanhood.” Tim is right. Pornography views people as objects whose purpose is to serve the wants and desires of others. Relationships are valued for what pleasure they produce. Pornography ignites a passion for self-gratification and little else. Our children are growing up at a time where self-sacrifice is viewed as fool’s game. Sex exists to serve personal cravings. In this cultural climate all relationships suffer, but none more painfully than marriage. Tim Challies has written an essential.. read more

Through the eyes of your child

Posted on March 8th, 2017 · Posted in Parenting, Sanctification, Shaping Influences, Uncategorized

Instruction and correction can easily be misunderstood. This is particularly the case when parental authority is being exercised. When correcting your children you can give them the impression that you are delighting in their failure, or that you are fixated on their shortcomings. Since disciplined training in righteousness must be thorough and ongoing, a child may think that your only purpose is to delight in telling him how wrong he is. This is where you have to look at your child’s world through his eyes. It is huge that in.. read more

Gentleness, much more than a personality trait

Posted on March 6th, 2017 · Posted in Godward Orientation, Parenting

Gentleness is probably not on the top of your list of important, immediate goals to accomplish. Perhaps this is because you see gentleness primarily as a personality trait. This is the point where gentleness is often misunderstood. Gentleness is all about the wise use of power. This is huge for parents. God’s purpose for each of us is to continue growing in maturity in order to become more like Christ (Ephesians 4:13). Christ describes himself as being gentle. Gentleness is part of the Holy Spirit’s fruit that each of us.. read more

Gentle or harsh, wise or foolish

Posted on February 22nd, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting, Proverbs, Wisdom

It is late in the day. You’re tired, no, make that exhausted. Your head is pounding. It’s time to fix dinner. At this moment that seems the equivalent of climbing Mt. Everest in flip-flops and beach shorts. And at this precise moment a dispute breaks out about who has the gaming screen next. So you do the only thing that you seems possible. In a sharp, stern voice that is loud, but not quite yelling, you say: “That’s enough! I’ve had it. You want dinner? Then sit down, give me.. read more

David’s plea to his son

Posted on February 18th, 2017 · Posted in Parenting, Wisdom

Solomon grew up in a world of sin, family drama, sexual sin, murder and political intrigue. David, his father, wanted Solomon to not be caught in the same web that had entangled him. The Holy Spirit has been gracious to us to record some of the things David said Solomon should value. David wanted Solomon to be consumed with the pursuit of wisdom. He wanted his son to emotionally, passionately embrace wisdom. He even told Solomon even if it costs you all that you have get understanding and wisdom. Would.. read more

Rotten intentions

Posted on February 10th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting, Teenagers

When there is interpersonal conflict we are often discouraged because our intentions are misunderstood. What we must remember is that our intentions don’t count. The person you are talking with is not a mind reader. What matters is how are our thoughts perceived. An intention that does not translate into being a benefit to someone is a rotten intention. Ephesians 4:29 Don’t let a single rotten word come from your mouths, but rather, whatever is good for constructively meeting problems that arise, so that your words may help those who.. read more

Self-control: the gateway to joy and peace

Posted on January 30th, 2017 · Posted in Parenting, Wisdom

Self-control: the gateway to joy and peace Self-control is the fruit of the Spirit. It is the evidence of the Spirit’s work in the life of God’s people. This means more than just physical or mental discipline. Only someone who is born of the Spirit of God can practice biblical self-control. What this means is that self-control is the way to joy and peace in this life. Here is one biblically based definition of self-control: “Self-control is the ability to say no to my wrong desires and yes to what.. read more

Physical beauty and biblical sexual attraction

Posted on January 28th, 2017 · Posted in Parenting, Ruling Desires, Teenagers

  There is a difference between physical beauty and biblical sexual attraction. Physical beauty is on display to be admired by all who observe it. The Holy Spirit describes the beauty of Job’s daughters this way: “Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers.” Physical beauty can and should be appreciated by many. But sexual attraction is only for one’s marriage partner. Sexual attraction outside of marriage will lead to lust and, eventually,.. read more

Three things love is not!

Posted on January 18th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting, Wisdom

I Corinthians 13:5 shows three patterns that are the enemy of truly loving your children. These patterns will bring anger, frustration and brokenness. They are also connected; one leads to the other. Let’s look at each one: Love is not self-seeking It is foolish to assume that what pleases you and what pleases God are one and the same. For example, do you want a house that is quiet and orderly? Why? Because that is pleasant to you? Or do you want a house full of energy and exuberance? Again,.. read more

How to love your children

Posted on January 17th, 2017 · Posted in Parenting, Teenagers, Wisdom

I Corinthians 13 has some important things to say about how love your kids in a way that blesses them and brings honor to God. Here are some examples: Love is patient That is what Paul means in Ephesians 6:4 when he calls upon fathers not to provoke their children to anger. This means that love is not a knee-jerk reaction when things don’t go well. Loving your children means understanding them and anticipating how obedience to your direction will be a challenge for them. Don’t be frustrated with their.. read more

Fairness: a dangerous request

Posted on January 11th, 2017 · Posted in Gospel, Parenting

  Where would you and I be if God treated us fairly? Does God ever have a reason to be fair with me? In pride, I want to say yes. I don’t deserve unfair treatment. But such thinking is not helpful. In light of what God has given for me and how I act in return for his mercy, any demand for fairness is stupid. To demand fairness is to live like a fool, to live has if there were no God. One of the significant areas of conflict in.. read more

Frustration or patience?

Posted on January 8th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting

Have you ever said something like this to your kids? “Sorry I was upset. You know that I love you, but I am just so frustrated right now!” The words, “I love you,” are buried in the middle of this defense of an angry outburst. They are familiar words. But familiar words often lose their impact and may become background noise to your children. More is needed than just words, than saying “I love you.” Real, tangible actions must accompany the words of love. I Corinthians 13 says that love.. read more

Raising children who despise themselves

Posted on January 6th, 2017 · Posted in Authority, Parenting, Ruling Desires, Sanctification

It seems like such a simple thing. You ask your child to do something and in response, he quietly keeps playing with his toy. If the day is laid back and the request seems inconsequential, the negative response might be ignored. But, you decide to press on, so you ask again, this time a little more firmly, and then one more time. Your four-year-old grudgingly, slowly does as he was told. You breathe a sigh of relief, no harm done, at least he obeyed. But actually this little boy has.. read more

One more gift to open

Posted on December 27th, 2016 · Posted in Parenting

The Christmas clean up is about done. But this does not mark the end of gift giving. Each morning the gift of Christ awaits you. Even more, this gift is one that God opens for you. God is relentless in his pursuit to bring joy to your needy soul. He cannot be out given. No matter what circumstance you face, the unfailing love of God is constant. This love transcends the difficulties of daily life. Each morning the wonder of Christmas is yours again. This is not a gift that.. read more

Finding the love of Christ in the mess of life

Posted on December 17th, 2016 · Posted in Parenting, Shaping Influences

Being a parent is a consuming job. The unexpected and unplanned for circumstances just keep on coming. In the mess, Christ can become distant. In Psalm 73, the psalmist had become overwhelmed with the seeming futility of following God. Survival mode had become the norm. He was thinking, “I just can’t do this anymore.” But here is the reality that the crush of daily life can obscure—Jesus is right there with you in the middle of the mess of your life! Trusting Christ in the mess of life is what.. read more