“Mommy, Heather was so mean to me today at school. She laughed at me and told me I look dumb. I thought she was my best friend! I am really, really sad. I just want to stay home and not go back, ever.” Your daughter has just experienced how cruel and sad life can be. Your first thought is to protect and defend her from the cruel words. But, then you want to see how God can use this to prepare your daughter for the difficult challenges that life will.. read more
Is it wrong to be bored? Given that boredom is a common complaint, especially with children, this is an important question. When your children announce that they are bored, how can you respond in the way that is most helpful to them? Often the response to an expression of boredom would be, “Well, go find something to do!” But this response is not productive because it does not provide any positive direction. It is important to ask whether it is wrong to be bored. Let’s attempt to answer this question.. read more
The Apostle Paul in I Corinthians 13:5 exposes three patterns that are the enemy of loving your children. These patterns bring anger, frustration and brokenness. They are also connected; one leads to the other. Let’s look at each one: Love is not self-seeking It is foolish to assume that what pleases you and what pleases God are one and the same. For example, do you want a house that is quiet and orderly? Why? Because that is pleasant to you? Or do you want a house full of energy and.. read more
“How many times have I told you not to do that?!?” “Stop doing that, right now!” “Why can’t you obey and do just this one thing?” “You know that you are not supposed to do that!” “If I hear you say that one more time!!” “One thing, why can’t you do just this one thing?!?” Do these statements sound familiar? They are uttered, muttered, shouted and pouted when your child just doesn’t seem to get the point: why can’t she just obey! They are statements of frustration and vexation. The.. read more
The Holy Spirit wants you, commands you to center your thoughts and actions on putting God first in your life. Specifically how does he want you to implement his calling to put God first? He instructed Solomon to urge you to guard your heart, because it is the source of your life. Then he directs Paul to tell you to be in constant prayer and that everything you do should bring honor to God. Few would argue that you should put God first, but how do you practically make.. read more
The Holy Spirit makes a vital connection between adornment and protection! You care about your children. You want to protect them from harm. So you take the obvious precautions: you use car seats, you dress them in warm clothing, you install a security system, you take them to the doctor and you do everything possible to keep them physically safe. But what about spiritual protection? Children who are spiritually adorned are also spiritually protected. It is the fear of the Lord that will keep your children from being deceived by.. read more
Are you helping your children to despise themselves? It is simple thing—you asked your 8-year-old boy to take out the garbage. He doesn’t respond. You reason that maybe he didn’t hear you. So rather than cause a scene, you just ask him later. Then, later comes. So you ask him again, a little more loudly this time. This time he responds and says he will, right after he finishes his game. You tell him you’re good with that and move on. A half-hour later, you see he is still at.. read more
Being a parent is a consuming job. The unexpected and unplanned for circumstances just keep on coming. It is ironic that In the rush of Christmas, Christ can become distant. In Psalm 73, the psalmist had become overwhelmed with the seeming futility of following God. Survival mode had become the norm. But here is the reality that the crush of daily life can obscure—Jesus is right there with you in the middle of the mess of your life! Trusting Christ in the rush of life is what gives stability to.. read more
It’s Christmas! I know, not exactly breaking news. But there is one item that is at the top of the list of “must-have” gifts for your children, Smart Phones! Your kids have a thousand and one reasons why they need a smart phone now: it will help them with school work, they can keep up with their friends so they aren’t isolated, they can keep up with current events, the can follow their favorite sports team and many other “compelling” reasons. Then, of course, there are all the reasons that.. read more
Santa’s Helper? Your children know everything about you. They see when you are sleeping, they know when you have been good or bad, they know when you pout and when you shout. Your kids know all of this without your ever having to say a word. When you stumble and ask God for help — they learn. When you stumble and snap or make excuses — they learn from that, too. If you value your relationship with God above all else, your children will know that as well. What does.. read more
This is part two of a series of posts contrasting discipline with retribution. In the first post of the series, I highlighted this consideration: Biblical discipline must not be seen as payment for the sins for which the discipline was administered. Retribution is not the goal of biblical discipline! In response, the question many of you raised was, “How does this work itself out in everyday family life?” This post will begin to address that question. In the first post, we saw how Psalm 103 provides direction on how to address.. read more
O Lord my God, my Savior, I pray for a heart of thanksgiving. Father, you are my reason for joy even when I fail. You are faithful when I am unfaithful. You promise heaven when I am consumed by the next hour. Protect me from my own selfish desires. I confess that I want what cannot satisfy. I confess that I would rather complain about what is not done than be grateful for what I can do. I confess that I am easily disappointed by those I love even when.. read more
If you are a parent, you can likely identify with feeling of being burned-out. Other terms such as exhaustion, fatigue, tired, and weary are also a regular part of parental vocabulary. What is the answer? Does being continually burned-out have to become the normal reality if you are a parent? Exhausted parents, Jesus calls out to you. Listen to his loving entreaty in Matthew 11:28-30: Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and.. read more
Sin is devastating. An eight-year-old tries to be kind to his older sister. She responds with, “That was stupid!” Michael is crushed. He tried so hard to be nice and got trashed in return. Michael is tempted to engage in self-pity. Thankfully, Michael’s mom observed the confrontation and took quick action. After Mom addressed the poor response of his sister, she asked Michael this question: “How cool would it be if you and your sister were happy with each other?” Michael responded, “I would love that.” “Michael, that’s wonderful! Did you.. read more
Your six-year-old has become so obsessed with wanting his brother’s new toy that he has convinced himself that he is being treated with extreme cruelty because he can’t have it. By allowing self-pity to grow this child’s parents are raising someone who will become a slave to lust. This is the reason the Holy Spirit warns against grumbling and complaining. This scenario does not seem as shocking as the story of a teenager obsessed with pornography. However, the attitudes that fuel the teenager’s lust and obsession are the same ones.. read more
Kevin, a teenage boy, has an opportunity to be alone with Tiffany, a girl that he is attracted to. If he thinks that he might get caught and his parents will find out, or that he might get a sexually-transmitted disease, he might decide not to be with her. However, suppose he thinks no one will find out and he can use protection to keep him safe. In addition, he and Tiffany have devised the “perfect” plan to hide their encounter. Thus, the fear of consequence fades against the powerful.. read more
Protecting your children is the obligation of a faithful parent. However, there is the false notion that children should be protected from every danger and uncertainty of life. That simply is not possible! There is too much uncertainty in life, too much which is beyond your control to protect . Yet, the temptation to worry about all of the things from which you cannot protect your children persists. You cannot shield your children from life itself or even from their own hearts. The storms in Matthew 7 come to the.. read more
Your middle-schooler wants to hang out with friends that are not a good influence for her. She is unhappy. Your teenager is frustrated with restrictions that you believe are wise. He thinks you are being unfair and has no problem letting you know about it. In response, you don’t want to communicate you are ultimate authority. You just want to be a safe refuge for your kids. But you know the choices your children make are not always the best ones. And you know that God has tasked you with.. read more
“Be safe!” This is frequently the last thing you say to your children when they leave the house. Often the plan for their safety doesn’t go much beyond theses words. Yes, you have taught them to be good drivers, you have told them which situations they should avoid, and you may have even encouraged them to pray for God’s protection. But in your heart, if you think too long about it, there is a nagging fear for your children’s safety, a fear that goes beyond just physical safety. You hope.. read more
Seth came home with a heavy heart. He had just been demoted to second-string. He was no longer a starter. He would still be playing a lot, but the coaches decided to give another player the starting job. He was disappointed, but this is not why his heart was heavy. Somehow he would have to tell dad he was no longer a starter. That was the moment he was really dreading. Seth’s dad was always a star at whatever he did in sports. He never failed to remind Seth that.. read more
