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Archive for the 'Parenting' Category

Idol Children

Posted on August 21st, 2019 · Posted in Godward Orientation, Gospel, Parenting

We live in the age of the Child. Children are accommodated. They are the center of family life. They are the focus of the educational process. Instead of training children to worship God in all of life, our modern world idolizes them. Education thus becomes a means to serve children rather than to teach them to sacrificially live their lives for God. So parents live for their children instead of God. Children then follow their parent’s example and also live for themselves. When this happens, nothing good is accomplished. Marriages.. read more

Instruction for the Heart

Posted on August 13th, 2019 · Posted in Gospel, Parenting

Biblical instruction is designed to impact the lives of your grandchildren. It is not about changing behavior for the moment.  It is about heart change. Proverbs 6:22 defines the goal of biblical parental instruction. It is to change the hearts of your children. Look carefully at these words: When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. This passage in Proverbs mirrors Moses’ command in Deuteronomy 6:4-7.  Truth is to be passed on from one heart.. read more

Self-Protection: A Destructive Response

Posted on August 12th, 2019 · Posted in Communication, Parenting, Wisdom

When someone is unkind or attacks you, especially someone close to you, your first response is likely self-protection. If it is, things will go from bad to worse. The best way to protect yourself make sure you are honoring God with your response. For example, your 14-year-old says: “All you care about is your stupid rules! You care about your rules more than you do about me! Thanks a lot for not caring.” You feel hurt, disrespected and defensive. Your child is unable to appreciate the good you are trying.. read more

Instruction: Blessing or Curse?

Posted on August 10th, 2019 · Posted in Communication, Godward Orientation, Parenting, Proverbs and the Gospel

Most memories of being corrected don’t evoke happy or pleasant thoughts. Often correction means stern or harsh warnings, even when given with the best of intentions. However, in the Proverbs instruction is to be received as precious jewelry, something to be worn with honor. How does this disconnect happen? Why is something that is intended for good and blessing become the equivalent of a curse? Proverbs 16:20-24 provides a guide for how to make instruction valuable. Solomon stresses the obvious, but neglected value of instruction. Those who pay attention to.. read more

Marriage and School

Posted on August 8th, 2019 · Posted in Parenting

Summer is practically over. It is time for school. There are multiple lists to check: clothing, textbooks, supplies, transportation, after-school activities and more. You know the drill.  However, there is one important matter that you don’t want to overlook – your marriage. The challenges of school can be a challenge to your marriage. Time, relationships, and communication are consumed by the demands of school.  The relationship between mom and dad can easily shift into one where scheduling and time pressure become the main focus. In this climate relational energy is quickly.. read more

Gratitude or Impurity

Posted on July 31st, 2019 · Posted in Communication, Gratitude, Parenting

Gratitude or impurity—you can have one but not both!  The language of the heart and mouth is an indication of the direction of the heart. People whose speech is dominated by a thankful spirit are often people who are grateful for the mercy extended to them by God.  However, impure, profane speech reflects just the opposite of gratitude.  This kind of talk frequently indicates an angry heart and movement towards the impure and profane. For example, the Ephesians had woven impure speech into the life of the church to the.. read more

Pleasant Words, Healing Words

Posted on July 30th, 2019 · Posted in Communication, Parenting, Proverbs and the Gospel, Wisdom

There is a prescription available that will improve the physical and spiritual health of your family.  This prescription is what the Proverbs call “pleasant words” or “gracious speech.” The Holy Spirit says this kind of talk will bring spiritual and physical health to your family. Failure to use this medicine as directed may result in frustrated parents, children who resist instruction, drained emotions, as well as the physical and spiritual exhaustion for the entire family. Yes, pleasant words are that important! However, there is a heavy cost for this prescription… read more

Parenting Is About Faith

Posted on July 29th, 2019 · Posted in Faith, Parenting

Biblical parenting is an exercise in faith. This fact makes biblical parenting different from every other parenting methodology. A journey of faith cannot always be accurately measured by visible markers. Other forms of parenting are measured by evaluating immediate responses—if the behavior doesn’t change quickly, then something must be wrong. Thankfully, God calls us to trust him in faith. In biblical parenting, the primary objective is not to simply change behavior but to bring about a change in heart that leads to repentance, which leads to faith in Christ. This,.. read more

Shepherding a Child's Heart

What the Incarnation Teaches About Parenting

Posted on July 23rd, 2019 · Posted in Communication, Notes From Tedd Tripp, Parenting

The incarnation is a good model for interaction with your children. God could have remained off in heaven. He could have spoken through cloud and thunder like He did in Exodus 19. But what does God do in the incarnation? He comes to dwell with us. He takes on human flesh like your flesh. He takes on a fully human psychology like yours. He accepts the limitations of being a man on earth; he can only be in one place at a time. He experiences all the things we experience… read more

A Different World Ahead

Posted on July 16th, 2019 · Posted in Apologetics, Parenting

Change is coming for your children. They will live in a different world than the one that greeted you when you left home. It is a world that views social media as a moral compass. Constantly changing public opinion pools drive online and cable news. Personal fulfillment has become life’s most important focus. Morality is measured by individual desires and lusts. This is the climate that shapes the culture you children will inhabit. It is true that these themes have been emerging for the last couple of decades. However, what.. read more

Who Loved First?

Posted on July 10th, 2019 · Posted in Authority, Gospel, Parenting

Two children plus one toy equals trouble.  No, this is not the beginning of a new math word problem. But it is a scenario that leads to disruptions in families every day. In this case, both children each want the special toy that came from Grandma. What is the typical question, the fair question to ask? Who had it first? Or, who had the toy most yesterday? You see, the problem is not fairness, but the selfishness of little hearts. “Who had it first?” This type of question is based.. read more

The Atonement: God’s Gift to Imperfect Parents 

Posted on July 6th, 2019 · Posted in Authority, Gospel, Parenting

All parents share at least one thing in common: each one of us fails on a regular basis. It’s not pretty but it is true. Parents are imperfect! Parental authority is not based upon human worth but on God’s choice. Parental authority is derived not earned. This means you cannot earn your children’s obedience. This truth is important for them and for you.  For children, this means that parental perfection is not a requirement for obedience. Because parents are humans, they will not do parenting perfectly or even close to.. read more

Are You a Hypocrite?

Posted on June 27th, 2019 · Posted in Parenting, Sanctification, Shaping Influences

Hypocrisy is something you cannot avoid. You tell your children not to fight and then you argue with your spouse. You tell your children God is in control and then you become angry or despondent with the circumstances of life. You tell your children to put God first, and then you realize you told them that for selfish reasons.   Your children are intimately aware of your hypocritical tendencies. It is as if a child is born with a fully-functioning, super-sensitive hypocrisy checker built in. Hypocrisy: something you and I.. read more

Positive Instruction that Adorns

Posted on May 21st, 2019 · Posted in Anger, Communication, Parenting

  Instruction or manipulation: Eight-year-old Ryan is having a hard day. Several things he has wanted to do haven’t happened. Now a thunderstorm has wiped out playing with his friends outside.  He feels he has every justification to be grumpy. Then Mom says this: “Ryan, I need your help right now in getting ready for company tonight. Would you watch your sisters for me?” “Mom! This isn’t fair. All day things have not been fair. And now you want me to watch Sarah and Michelle?  Can’t I have a break?”.. read more

Heart Attitudes and Prayer

Posted on May 4th, 2019 · Posted in Parenting, Prayer

Parents, if your desire is to see your children’s hearts become responsive to the gospel, the place to start is with your own heart. Here are 3 core heart-attitudes to cultivate that will help mold your heart to be God’s instrument for presenting Christ to your children.  The first attitude is humility:   Humility is the source of the power that you need to represent Christ well to your children.  Humility means that you trust God and follow him. Pride means that you trust yourself and fail to consistently rely.. read more

Your Middle Schooler Lied

Posted on April 10th, 2019 · Posted in Gospel, Lying, Parenting

Jesus died for you. He was resurrected for you. He gave you life. He gave you the opportunity to tell your kids how special he is to you. Jesus made a commitment to you. It’s personal! Do your kids know how special he is to you? Here is a way to let them know. You have caught your middle school child in a lie. You have confronted him with his lie and he has admitted it. Then you tell your child something like this: “Justin, I know what it is.. read more

Parent, You Can Control Your Anger

Posted on March 28th, 2019 · Posted in Anger, Parenting, Wisdom

You are angry! Your son just had a minor accident with the car, your golf game for tomorrow got canceled, your neighbor called to remind you your grass is too high and you can’t stop thinking that your boss is giving you too much work and not enough appreciation. You are raising your voice, your face is flushed. If one more crazy thing happens, you will explode! The kids are bracing for the next outburst. Then you feel the buzz from your phone. You look and see it’s your boss,.. read more

Discipline: Investing in Your Children’s Future

Posted on March 14th, 2019 · Posted in Authority, Discipline, Parenting

The full value of your instruction to your children will not be seen immediately. If you invest in changing your children’s behavior your investment is only for the moment. Results will often be quick and impressive, but they will also be temporary. When behavior is the goal, how well your children perform is the main indicator of success. Investing in behavior brings immediate dividends such as anger, frustration, and manipulation. In contrast, investing in heart change is investing in your children’s future. Heart change is for life. Pleasant words, consistent.. read more

Satisfied

Posted on March 4th, 2019 · Posted in Godward Orientation, Parenting, Worldview

One of life’s hardest lessons is to realize that true satisfaction is found only in God. There are many pretenders but only God is sufficient to give meaning and purpose to your life. Apart from God every single relationship and endeavor you pursue carries the reality of disappointment. One of the cruelest things you can to do is to expect others to provide for you what can only be found in God. No human can bear the weight of being God for you. Practically, what does this mean? Children cannot.. read more

The Heart: Impossible to Control

Posted on March 2nd, 2019 · Posted in Authority, Gospel, Parenting

It may be possible to control behavior.  However, control of the heart is another matter.  As Tedd Tripp teaches, you can shepherd your child’s heart. But you cannot control his heart. So the purpose of your authority as a parent is to shepherd your children, to build them up, to strengthen them.  But attempts as controlling children without shepherding them will lead to frustration. Over time attempts at control through rules will lead your children away from Christ (Colossians 2:23).  Controlling your children in this way will weaken them and.. read more