Fairness is a cruel master. To desire fairness is to live like a fool, to live has if there were no God.
Think about it! Where would you and I be if God treated us fairly? Does God ever have a reason to be fair with me? In pride, I want to say yes. I don’t deserve unfair treatment. But such thinking is harmful. In light of what God has done for me and how I act in return for his mercy, any demand for fairness is stupid and out of place.
One of the significant areas of conflict in life is the battle that emerges from wanting to have things God’s way AND my way. One example is desiring mercy from God while we expect, and even demand, to be treated with fairness. Desiring fairness is a black hole that leads to anger, frustration, disappointment, and struggles in relationships.
Fairness and mercy are not compatible!
We can easily spot sin in children and totally miss it in our own lives. Children demand fairness when they interact with others. But when discipline is appropriate they are quick to cry out for mercy. We demand fairness when we are mistreated. Yet, we crave mercy when we mistreat others. You can’t have it both ways!
The truth is that my actions, my attitudes call for the wrath of God to be poured out upon me. That is the appropriate response for my sins against the holiness of God. But God, who is rich in mercy, does not treat me with fairness. He is merciful to me.
Mercy is showing kindness to who are weak, sinful, and needy, because Christ loved me first when I was his enemy.
You and I are weak, sinful and needy, not a pretty self-portrait. We are all in need of mercy from God and from each other. For growth and maturity to happen, you and I must stop complaining about a lack of fairness and cry out to God for mercy. It is important that mercy and not fairness be the standard by which we raise of children for God.
Psalm 103:8-12 beautifully shows the mercy of God is much better than fairness.
The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.