The Gift of Sex in a Post-Marriage Culture

Posted on December 14, 2012 · Posted in Ruling Desires, Sanctification, Worldview

 

Imagine opening presents on Christmas morning. One person receives a number of gifts with delight. But then, upon opening the next gift he shouts, “…what a stupid gift”!  He then proceeds to the trash can where he angrily deposits the gift. Such a show of ingratitude would be almost universally condemned. 

 

But, when it comes to the gifts that God has given to mankind, this sort of ingratitude is common. For example, take the gifts of marriage and sex. Modern culture has determined that sex is a gift that it wants to keep and marriage is a gift for the trash can.   So with no regard for the giver of marriage our culture, our legislators, our educators have tossed aside the gift of marriage but have clung fiercely to the gift of sex.

 

There is just one problem. God gives his gifts in the form of command. We are not free to set up our own social structure. God has ordained that marriage be the foundational building block. God then directed that marriage would be the place for sexual relations. But, an angry modern culture has determined which gifts & which commands of God it will choose to embrace.  

 

The results of this ungrateful defiance are just now beginning to emerge. A rejection of some of God’s gifts leads to an insatiable appetite for self-pleasure. As Ephesians says this means the loss of sensitivity to others with a continual lust for desires that can never be satisfied. 

 

So what does this have to do with Christmas? In our culture Christmas is about gift giving. The idea is drawn from the gift of Christ to sinners. The older Christmas Carols attest to this fact. Today gift giving has become a combination self-atonement, buying of affections, and giving in order to get back. This is what has happened with marriage and sex. Modern culture does not want to be restricted in how it engages in sex. Sex is not a gift that is given to your marriage partner, it is a gift you give to yourself.

 

Parents, you can begin to teach your children the biblical reason why we should give gifts. Gifts are not a means to an end, but an expression of gratitude. Gratitude first for what God has done for us and then gratitude for those God has placed in our lives!

 

This is a huge step to help your children value sexual purity and withstand the hedonistic tsunami of modern culture. 

 

 

Jay Younts
John A. (Jay) Younts is the Shepherd Press blogger, and is a ruling elder serving at Redeemer Associate Reformed Presbyterian Church in Moore, South Carolina. He has written Everyday Talk, Everyday Talk About Sex & Marriage, Finding the Right Track, the In Touch With Paul stewardship series, and What About War. He has studied and taught about biblical childrearing for 30 years. He and his late wife Ruth have five adult children.