Despite your best efforts, there are times when things don’t appear to go well. You attempt to be encouraging, but your words are received cynically. You back off from communication to ease tensions, and you are perceived as being aloof. Whatever you do is taken to be the opposite of what you intended. Such scenarios sometimes occur with grandparents. Because your children's grandparents are also your parents or parents-in-law, these tensions may have existed for years. You believe that giving up is not an option, but that is the only thing you are certain about. So what do you do? Thankfully, biblical principles are available about conducting relationships. You cannot control what your parents do or say, but by God’s […]
Monthly Archives: March 2009
16 posts
In the last post on grandparents we looked at a scenario in which visiting grandparents is an occasional event. That is, perhaps you visit back and forth once or twice a year. This post deals with more frequent contact, such as when grandparents live close by or there is a visit lasting several weeks or more, which means contact on a daily, or nearly daily, basis. The principles we looked at in the post on visiting grandparents also apply here, but it is even more important to have good clear communication lines established when there is regular contact over a longer period of time. You should still do the four column worksheet mentioned earlier. In addition, you and your spouse […]
These days everyone is talking about bailouts. Whether on the economic or social front, things seem to be falling apart. Whether you are catching the headlines on Drudge, or the details on Fox News, or USA Today, the message is all the same. There is no way out without a bailout. As you watch, read or listen to the experts in these amazing times, the most important factor is always missing from the analysis and reporting. Talk show monologues, no-spin comments, and the latest from the financial markets—all have a message of catastrophe. But no one talks about the One who controls it all. While man panics, God works his plan. There is a message to be heeded in these […]
The first scenario I want to visit in this series is Visiting the Grandparents. That is, on a regular or semi-regular basis you pack up the family and head for your parents. Such visits can be blissful or stressful. But most important for you, the parents, to remember is that your children depend on you for stability and evenness. The guiding principle in your planning must be to discern what will make the visit a success from God’s perspective. By implication, that means you must be more concerned about the relational aspects of your visit with the grandparents than with the logistical aspects. What happens logistically, that is, the actual things and activities done during the visit, is important, but […]
The Bible speaks of a vision for the truth being passed from generation to generation. Psalm 78 speaks of children learning the truths of God and being part of the chain which includes their children and then children's children who are yet unborn. Grandparents, then, have a significant role to play in this powerful vision. However, like every other aspect of the Christian life, making this vision play out effectively takes careful planning. The successful implementation of this multi-generational vision depends on the folks in the middle—the parents. Yes, I know grandparents can be either too controlling or just the opposite, not caring enough. And I realize there are concerns about how the children will respond. Thus, parents may think […]
James 3:17 has been the focus of the last few posts. The verse provides a summary of the wisdom that comes from heaven, "wisdom from above." We began with the first three components of this wisdom and then moved to the centerpiece of being open to reason. Now we will focus on the last three components. Here is verse 17, highlighting each of the seven components. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. The fifth component is to be "full of mercy and good fruits." Think about this from the perspective of your children. Do they see a parent who is full of mercy, […]