Thanksgiving Sale! Use coupon code THANKS to save 40% on your order!
Open
X

Archive for the 'Communication' Category

Are you a refuge for your teenager?

Posted on September 27th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Teenagers

When emotions are strong, words can hurt. This can be especially true of conflicts with teenagers. God wants you to look beyond the emotional upset. He wants you to do something more than be hurt by hard conversations. He wants you to listen and learn from what is behind the sharp exchanges. The following lyrics are from a song by Linkin Park, titled Numb. The video has over 655 million views on Youtube. That’s right, 655 MILLION views! The theme in the video is about a broken relationship between a.. read more

“‘I wanted my kids to know me”

Posted on September 20th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting

Steve Jobs revolutionized the way our culture communicates. Steve Jobs was a legend. However, there was one area Jobs recognized where he was lacking. He was a private man, even from his own children. “I wanted my kids to know me,” Jobs was quoted as saying by Pulitzer Prize nominee Walter Isaacson, when he asked the Apple co-founder why he authorized a tell-all biography after living a private, almost ascetic life. “I wasn’t always there for them, and I wanted them to know why and to understand what I did,”.. read more

When words won’t work

Posted on September 14th, 2017 · Posted in Communication

  We humans are people of words. God designed us to be that way. But as valuable as words are, the Bible tell us there is something beyond our words that must not be missed. Our words, our spirit, our actions, our faith must all point to a common life-giving thread: our relationships. Relationships are not sustained primarily through our words, they are sustained by the power God’s Spirit. The most important relationship is the one that makes all others possible. Knowing Jesus Christ is the one relationship that matters.. read more

Winning or loving

Posted on September 5th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Music, Ruling Desires, Uncategorized, Wisdom

When you have an argument you have a choice: you can win or you can love. The word “love” in this phrase seems awkward and out of place, doesn’t it? The conventional wording is you can win or you can lose. But as with other things in the Christian life, God’s ways are radically different than our own. The idea that an argument or discussion is about winning or losing is flawed at its core. God has called us to honor him with love and not be focused on winning.. read more

Pushing or Leading?

Posted on August 18th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting

Do your children feel led or pushed? Are you as a parent dominated by love or frustration? The two questions are tightly connected. Leading is born out of love and pushing is born out of frustration.  As parents we may tell our children that we demand obedience and speak sharply because we love them and only want the best for them. Most likely our children are not buying this explanation.  It feels to them as if they are being manipulated into doing what mom and dad want. But God has.. read more

More than words

Posted on August 16th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting

Solomon makes an important observation about your facial expressions. Yes, words matter. They must be used with skill and grace. But you have other significant ways that you communicate with your children. One of them is by your countenance. Positively or negatively, the look on your face makes a difference. Proverbs 16:15 describes it this way: In the light of a king’s face there is life,
 and his favor is like the clouds that bring the spring rain. In countries ruled by kings, a king’s smile was a big deal… read more

The disconnect between school and the gospel

Posted on August 14th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting, Wisdom

The gospel is about grace. School is about performance. The gospel is about receiving compassion. School is about earning grades. The gospel is about resting in the power of Christ in failure. School is about trying to avoid the shame of failure. The gospel is about acceptance in Christ regardless of performance. School is about gaining acceptance because of performance. Skilled and loving teachers and parents will work hard to bridge the gap illustrated by these comparisons. However, it is important to grasp that no matter how sincere one’s efforts.. read more

Is it stupid to be pure? part 2

Posted on July 21st, 2017 · Posted in Apologetics, Authority, Communication, Parenting, Teenagers

Did I keep my heart pure for nothing? Or asked another way, if I do stay pure, where is the fun in that? These questions are daggers pointed at the hearts of your kids. It is foolish to ignore them. It is equally foolish to answer these questions by simply enforcing rules and being angry at wrong behavior. Let me explain. Following God by living a life of purity is a path that marks teenagers as social misfits in our culture. As a parent, you have to get this! Psalm.. read more

I want it! The gateway to abuse

Posted on June 24th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting, Ruling Desires

The demand for instant gratification is destructive. This pattern, if not stopped, will result in a life dominated by the desire for immediate gratification. Immediate gratification is the gateway to a life of destructive, abusive relationships, pornography, substance abuse, abusive behavior. If you hear your child frequently complain or grumble,  you are hearing a child who is becoming a slave to his own desires. Sin feeds on the desire for immediate happiness. That is why a child can go from seeming bliss to outrage in an eye blink. One moment.. read more

Don’t be a Disengaged Dad

Posted on June 15th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting

Dads, God calls you to be active and not reactive in raising your kids. Ephesians 6:4 is a familiar verse, maybe almost too familiar. Here is what Paul says: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” The phrase “bring them up” is not just a throw-away term. It is actually the same wording used earlier when Paul says husbands should “nourish and cherish” their wives just as they do for themselves. This meaning puts an active focus.. read more

Become a godly refuge for your children

Posted on May 3rd, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Wisdom

James 3 warns about how dangerous your words can be. But you already knew that. How many times have you wished that you could grab back the hurtful words that have raced from your lips; careless, angry words that have produced distance from those you love? Fortunately, James 3:13-18 describes what makes your words so destructive and provides the Holy Spirit’s alternative. You can either speak out of wisdom from below or wisdom from above. How does this work? Wisdom from below frequently masquerades as concern for righteousness. It’s focus.. read more

From your heart to their hearts

Posted on April 27th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting

The first obligation of any parent is to love God with all that you have to give. This is the meaning of the words in Deuteronomy 6:5-7 where the Holy Spirit, through Moses, instructs parents how to lead their children to follow God. Nothing less than a full-on commitment to love God is in view. These words are passionate words! God calls for you to be all-in when it comes to telling your children about him. God will not be an after-thought or an add-on to your parenting. “Love the.. read more

Biblical communication that strengthens your relationship

Posted on March 10th, 2017 · Posted in Communication

Communication is part of everyday life. Perhaps nothing else brings such a combination of joy and frustration than the way we communicate with each other. Here are some biblical guidelines to make your communication more productive and effective. Check your Heart Attitude Consider others more important than yourself. Philippians 2:3-5 Let love be in control  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, always trusts. From 1 Cor. 13:4-7 This passage.. read more

Gentle or harsh, wise or foolish

Posted on February 22nd, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting, Proverbs, Wisdom

It is late in the day. You’re tired, no, make that exhausted. Your head is pounding. It’s time to fix dinner. At this moment that seems the equivalent of climbing Mt. Everest in flip-flops and beach shorts. And at this precise moment a dispute breaks out about who has the gaming screen next. So you do the only thing that you seems possible. In a sharp, stern voice that is loud, but not quite yelling, you say: “That’s enough! I’ve had it. You want dinner? Then sit down, give me.. read more

Rotten intentions

Posted on February 10th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting, Teenagers

When there is interpersonal conflict we are often discouraged because our intentions are misunderstood. What we must remember is that our intentions don’t count. The person you are talking with is not a mind reader. What matters is how are our thoughts perceived. An intention that does not translate into being a benefit to someone is a rotten intention. Ephesians 4:29 Don’t let a single rotten word come from your mouths, but rather, whatever is good for constructively meeting problems that arise, so that your words may help those who.. read more

Three things love is not!

Posted on January 18th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting, Wisdom

I Corinthians 13:5 shows three patterns that are the enemy of truly loving your children. These patterns will bring anger, frustration and brokenness. They are also connected; one leads to the other. Let’s look at each one: Love is not self-seeking It is foolish to assume that what pleases you and what pleases God are one and the same. For example, do you want a house that is quiet and orderly? Why? Because that is pleasant to you? Or do you want a house full of energy and exuberance? Again,.. read more

Your teenager is caught in the tug-of-war of life

Posted on January 9th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Teenagers

It is important not to miss the struggles your teenager faces each day. She is often functioning without immediate and constant parental supervision. New and sometimes dangerous influences enter his life. This is the scary part. It is no secret that sex, drugs, pornography, bullying and gambling have all made their way into the teenage world. So what can you do to shepherd your teenager without giving them a lie detector test each afternoon and attaching a body cam and GPS to them? Here is one answer: Become an epic.. read more

Frustration or patience?

Posted on January 8th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting

Have you ever said something like this to your kids? “Sorry I was upset. You know that I love you, but I am just so frustrated right now!” The words, “I love you,” are buried in the middle of this defense of an angry outburst. They are familiar words. But familiar words often lose their impact and may become background noise to your children. More is needed than just words, than saying “I love you.” Real, tangible actions must accompany the words of love. I Corinthians 13 says that love.. read more

Who is in control, your teenager or God?

Posted on December 29th, 2016 · Posted in Communication, Teenagers

What causes stress with your teenager? The easy answer is that if your teenager was more respectful, if he would just do half of the things you asked , if she would actually listen, if you mattered half as much as the phone, things would not be so stressful. Of course there are some things that you need to work on, but the bottom line is your teenager specializes in making life difficult. The problem here is the assumption that the teenager is in control. Everything is dependent upon the.. read more

Adorning your children

Posted on December 8th, 2016 · Posted in Communication, Holidays, Parenting, Wisdom

Your children know everything about you. They see when you are sleeping, they know when you have been good or bad, they know when you pout and when you shout. Your kids know all of this without your ever having to say a word. When you stumble and ask God for help — they learn. When you stumble and snap or make excuses — they learn from that, too. If you value your relationship with God above all else, your children will know that as well. What does this have.. read more