By Paul Tripp
True identity is rooted in worshiping God as Creator. To have a sense of identity that will not fail you when you are buffeted by the sure-to-come storms of life, you must start at the beginning. Every part of the fabric of your personhood was carefully knit together by God’s creative hands. There was no part of you that was hidden from him. He carefully examined every aspect of your unformed body before you were born. There were no accidents, no glitches, no thoughtless moments. Just like David, you too were “fearfully and wonderfully” made. The color of your eyes, the shape of your body, your intellectual and physical gifts, your hair, your voice, your personality, the color of your skin, the size of your feet, etc.—all of your hardwiring is the result of God’s glorious creative ability.
The “package” that created you comes from his hand.
I am deeply persuaded that while many of us worship God as Creator on Sunday, we curse his work during the week. Most of us harbor dissatisfaction with who God made us to be. The short ones want to be tall; the tall ones want to be shorter. The intellectuals secretly wish to be athletic; the mechanically minded people secretly wish they could be more musical. The serious person wishes, just for once, that he could be the life of the party, and the guy who was given the gift to think and to teach wishes he could have been more administrative. There are times in all of our lives when we secretly wish we could rise to the throne of creation and remake ourselves in the image of what we would like to be.
Often this refusal to accept your legacy in midlife is really a refusal to accept your identity. What about you? Are your midlife struggles connected to your failure to celebrate whom the Creator wired you to be?
So much of midlife struggle is because we haven’t gotten our own way. We have lived as if we belonged to ourselves, when really we belonged to him. So, my marriage was never meant as a means for my glory, but as a workroom for his. My kids never belonged to me; they belong to him. My job never belonged to me; it was his all along to use as he wished for the realization of his glorious purposes in and through me.
Worshiping God as Creator also means recognizing that I was made for him. If God made us, then we belong to him as a testament to his creative glory. The fact is that you and I were never meant to live for our own success and glory. This “I belong to another” lifestyle was meant to shape our marriages, parenting, friendship, and careers. It was meant to shape the way we approach position and possessions. As a creature, your life belongs to Another, and so your life is part of his dream.
Paul David Tripp
Excerpts from Chapter 10 of Lost in the Middle.
6 thoughts on “Midlife struggles – do I belong to myself or to God?”
For me, the money statement is “…and the guy who was given the gift to think and to teach wishes he could have been more administrative.”
I have often asked God why He does not let me move into a management position. I have an MBA, and loads of experience, but He does not let the doors of my career open up toward that path. However, I love to teach as both an adjunct professor and as a small group leader at my church. On my regular job I am a critical thinker, evaluating data and processes.
I have always given lip-service, at least, to the fact that the way my career and life have worked out according to the plan and will of God. I need to do some deep self-reflection and self-examination and just submit to the reality of that fact, and take joy and comfort in knowing that I am performing God’s will in how He made me.
I’m 42, so as a mid-lifer this article is a great comfort to me. Thank you.
Jeff, great comment! Thank you.
Thanks for this….. for most of my adult life, I’ve struggled with feelings of self-condemnation and dissatisfaction because I’ve always felt like I should be accomplishing more, earning more, doing more, etc., and it’s been a debilitating condition at times in regard to my faith and peace in Christ. As I approach 50, I now see that my only real responsibility is to be faithful to God in the gifts, opportunities, and circumstances He has placed me in and allow Him to work out His Will in His own time and method.
I’m not completely “there” yet, but beginning to come to this realization has greatly relieved me of much of the guilt and turmoil in my mind and spirit…..
Amen!
Thanks for sharing this. I need to remember this as I am getting near 50 and recently was laid off from a very good job that I had been at for some time. I often feel as a failure in not having all the things and a great job with great skills. But God has blessed me with a wonderful wife and 7 children with another one on the way. All the way through this life, God has provided when there did not seem to be a way. I need to be grateful for the great treasures I have been blessed with, not looking for stuff that does not last.
I needed to see this post and all these comments. I can thank my wife for bringing this blog to my attention (and I am certain God led her to find it). I’ve struggled all my life with the “grass is greener” syndrome, always second guessing my decisions and wishing I’d have chosen another career path, a different college, made more money, had different talents, gifts, etc., when I should realize daily how blessed I am and live for Him, not myself. I’m getting better about it, but at 43 I have found that midlife crisis is real, especially if one has had the above characteristics. Philippians 4 is a good reminder where to focus our thoughts and energies. Thank you. <