Your Teenager, Pornography, & Compassion

Posted on · Posted in Ruling Desires, Sanctification, Teenagers

You have found out your teenager is caught in pornography. How should you respond? Yes, he has been disobedient. Yes, he has been disrespectful. Yes, pornography is nasty stuff and ungodly at its core. But he, or she, has been trashed and played by lies that deceive and cheapen his very soul. Pornography runs deep, straight to the heart.


Your teenager knows that he has been wrong. But he has also been played for a fool. No, he is not a victim. Pornography, was his own wretched choice. But simply telling him he was wrong, imposing consequences, and being personally hurt is exactly what the enemy wants you to do. As Colossians 2:23 teaches these actions, by themselves, are of no effect in stopping this ugly sin. 


What your teenager needs is compassion. He has been trampled by the all star team of the enemy. Mercy and grace are the weapons of the gospel. These are the only weapons powerful enough to heal the devastating damage done by pornography. Yes, you will have to monitor the computer and keep good watch, but first and foremost you must have a heart of compassion. Help your teenager understand the crafty attack of lies that fuel pornography. If you want to be a resource to help your teenager, you must first be a refuge. 


There is much more that could and should be said. But compassion is the best place to start.


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Jay Younts
John A. (Jay) Younts is the Shepherd Press blogger, and is a ruling elder serving at Redeemer Associate Reformed Presbyterian Church in Moore, South Carolina. He has written Everyday Talk, Everyday Talk About Sex & Marriage, Finding the Right Track, the In Touch With Paul stewardship series, and What About War. He has studied and taught about biblical childrearing for 30 years. He and his late wife Ruth have five adult children.