The world of cyberspace offers tempting delusions. Social media holds both great promise and great peril. It appears to be personal and private, while being impersonal and dangerously public. It offers personal expression which often leads to personal exploitation. This world of virtual communication touts the latest in technological marvels, but it is often driven by millennia old curiosity, lust and gossip. As you are mostly likely reading this post electronically, I obviously believe that social media also has the capacity to do much good. Electronic social media is bound by the same realities that have always governed human communication. If you commit anything to media, whether paper or electronic, it is never private. Private letters, such as Sigmund […]
Communication
How can you make God real to your toddlers and young children? One way is talk about your awesome God 24/7 as Deuteronomy 6:5-7 commands. These words urge that God is to be loved so passionately that his commands will be on the hearts of his people. Once this heart infusion of the love of God takes place the result will be that the love for God’s commands will overflow from your mouth and into the lives of your children. This is not mere information transfer. This is being so in love with God and his commands that this becomes the focal point of conversations with children. So, what does this have to do with young children, toddlers and infants? […]
You observe your teenager talking a mile-a-minute with friends. Then you think about the typical conversations that you have had with your son or daughter. Instead of a lively back and forth your attempts at conversation tend to collapse into strained monosyllables.: Did you have a good day? Sort of. How was your test? Okay. Do you have homework? Maybe. Do you have plans this weekend? Not sure. Is anything bothering you? No. Did you clean your room? Not yet. I thought maybe we could talk later on. Why. What did you think of the sermon? It was okay. Why are you so hard to talk to? Aw, mom. You respond […]
God wants your children to obey you because it pleases Him and blesses them. For example, here is the direction from a parent who has taught this concept to her child. “Joshua, take the garbage out now, please.” “Sure, Mom, no problem.” Joshua’s mom expects to be obeyed. She doesn’t ask Joshua a question, she gives him clear, pleasant direction. She doesn’t whine or plead or bargain or threaten. She speaks directly but pleasantly. Joshua knows exactly what she wants him to do and when. Joshua has been trained to understand that obeying his parents is doing exactly what he is told, right away, with a good attitude. Joshua’s response is not one that came naturally to him. He is […]
“That’s a bad idea! How could you think of something that awful?” “That’s a pretty good job. But you know, if you just did this one part a little bit more carefully, it would be really great.” “That stinks!” “That is not what I told you to do.” “Well, maybe next time you’ll do better.” The five examples of criticism listed above are painful to read and even more painful to hear. Hearing someone’s unkind and unfair criticism does indeed present a trial and a challenge. From a gospel-centered perspective your first thought when you receive unfair criticism should focus on how you can return good for evil—because this is what God has done for you. God has […]
Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger. Jesus tells the story of a father and his two sons. The father asks his first son to go work in the vineyard. The first son responds with a defiant no. So, the father asks his other son the same question. This son, in sharp contrast, respectfully says that he will do what his father asked. So, on the surface of things, it appears one son is rebellious and one is obedient. This much is true, but not in the way it appears. In the story Jesus quickly adds that the first son changed his mind and actually did as he was asked. The other son never went […]
Anger is a difficult sin. Like an ice-breaker pushing huge chunks of ice in all directions, anger leaves a trail of broken pieces in its wake. Broken chunks of ice are good thing. Broken pieces of life – not so much. Anger is often a response to injustice. With God this is good. His motives and reasons for anger are always pure and right. Your child’s anger is also often a response to injustice. But his motives and reasons are seldom pure and right. A young child thinks he has been wronged because someone else has his toy. A middle-schooler is angry because others are not kind to her. A teenager struggles with anger because of guilt as a result […]
Biblical grace is the strongest possible deterrent to sin. For parents this means if rules become more important than your relationship with your teenager you lose the opportunity to display grace. In other words, a broken rule must not result in a broken relationship! In my life, the times that I have been most appreciative of God’s grace are the times when I have been most aware of my sin. Is this true for your teenager? When you address their sin are you most interested in showing grace or reminding them of how wrong they are? “Why have you, once again, not finished your homework, or cleaned your room, or not cut the grass? You know we have a rule, […]
“All you care about is your stupid rules! You care about your rules more than you do about me! Thanks a lot for not caring.” With these words your 14 year-old storms back to her room. Sadly, this exchange is not unusual. Parents want to protect their children. Their teenagers don’t think they need protection. The parents make rules. The teenagers think the rules aren’t helpful and say so. The parents feel disrespected. The teenagers feel abandoned. The parents tighten up on the rules. The teenagers are convinced the parents don’t care and don’t want to care. And so it goes. Nothing less than wisdom from above can address this breakdown. The Holy Spirit describes wisdom from above this way: […]
“I’m really glad Mom spoke to me about that; I really needed her help.” If your children seldom have this response to your authority, it is time for you consider a different approach. Here are three things that go hand-in-hand with authority this is a blessing. First: listen before you speak. A good listener is able to repeat the words you hear back to the speaker in such a way that he can affirm that you really do understand what he said. You don’t always have to agree, but you must always understand. This attentiveness shows respect, first for God and then for your child. It also indicates that you view your authority as a trust given to you so […]