It is important to educate and train your children. The question, of course, is what do you teach them and when. Here is one truth that is seldom taught because it something that people don’t like to talk about, especially with children: We live and die at God’s pleasure. It is good and necessary to teach children skills that will last a lifetime. It is also good to teach children that life is unpredictable for humans. As the Psalmist says our days are like grass and wildflowers. There is a burst of beauty and then the flower is gone. This truth must not be avoided. Children must be taught that we are not to live for ourselves, we live for […]
Parenting
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Being in middle school is like being in a tug-of-war with both sides evenly matched. On the one hand there is the pull of the teenage years. On the other hand are the benefits of being a young child. Or a middle schooler could dread the coming of youth while wanting desperately to be done with being a child. It is important not to miss the particular struggles your middle schooler might have. He is beginning to function without the immediate and constant supervision of his parents. He does this even though new and sometimes dangerous influences enter his life. Should he listen to Mom and Dad or to the kids that are telling him that there is more to […]
Helping Children Evaluate Themselves by Tedd & Margy Tripp Proverbs 9 will help our children evaluate themselves, “Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse. Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning” (Prov. 9:7–9). We used this passage to help our children evaluate their responses to parental authority. I would draw a stick figure of myself. I would ask, “What four words in this passage describe the communication of the parent?” They would search the passage and discover these four words, “Correct, […]
Too often we cover our backsides with intentions. We intend to love, so we tend to ignore the impact of our actions. For example: “I am so sorry I got angry with you. It is just that I love you so much and I know that what you did will be bad for you. I just needed to get your attention right away.” Hint, your child is not buying this. A decision was made to replace love with anger. But, you may protest, that was not my intention! However, intentions are not safe guides unless they are informed by Scripture. This is why the Bible does not define love by a state of mind or by intent. Love is defined […]
Parents, when your children sin and they are not respectful to you, how do you want to respond? If you make the matter primarily a personal offense against yourself and respond in anger and frustration, you will do what any ordinary parent might do. You might get angry at them. You might just let your children know how painful this is for you. You might yell. You might walk around in silent pain. You might tell your kids they have gone too far this time. All these responses would be ordinary and totally understandable. In this way you would associate God with the ordinary actions of ordinary people. When you give in to anger, resentment or self-pity at your children’s […]
The Danger of Being a Fool by Tedd Tripp The alternative to teaching our children biblical hierarchy is to allow them to be autonomous self-directed people. The Bible has a term for such a person: the fool. “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God’” (Ps. 14:1). The fool says, “I will be my own self-directed person; no one will tell me what to do. I will do what I want to do, when I want to do it. I will be ruled by nothing other than my own whim.” This is not freedom; it is foolishness. To live in God’s world as though there is no God is the height of folly. A later chapter will be […]
“Why did I say that? I love my kids.” “I so sorry I said that, I didn’t mean it” “He makes so angry, I can’t stop thinking about it.” Sound familiar? These statements indicate a control problem, but maybe not in the way you are thinking. You see, it is not about you being in control. Rather, it is about whom you choose to be in control of your life. In Galatians 5 Paul tells you to walk by the Spirit, so that you will not gratify the desires of your flesh. If you desire the control of the Holy Spirit then you will eagerly pursue his fruit. (See Galatians 5:22-23) But if you listen to your flesh, God will […]
This is the season of gifts. From Thanksgiving to Christmas giving gifts dominates much of our lives. If no gifts were given many businesses would fail, many hearts would be broken, many faces would be sad. God made us to be gift givers. We are made in his image and he is the greatest gift giver of all. Last night, as I was driving home around 10:30, the sky was clear. I turned south onto a road that cuts across a large open field. Low in the southeastern sky was a magnificent moon rise. The Moon and Venus hung in space in a stunning display shouting the wonders of God’s glory. This is but one example of the gifts God […]
Being a parent is a consuming vocation. The unexpected and unplanned for circumstances just seem to keep on coming. In this mess, Christ can become distant, your life experience resembles being drawn into a swirling vortex. In Psalm 73, the psalmist had become overwhelmed with the seeming futility of following God. Survival mode had become his norm. He, too, was caught in the vortex. He, too, was thinking, I just can’t do this anymore. But here is the reality that the crush of daily life can obscure—Jesus is right there with you in the middle of the clutter of your life! Trusting Christ in the mess of life is what gives stability to your soul. He has brought together all […]
Answering without Listening Tedd Tripp I had a conversation with my son near bedtime. I said what I thought needed to be said; he listened politely. “Well,” I said, after finishing my speech, “I am glad we had a chance to talk.” I prayed with him and went to bed. A few minutes later there was a knock at our bedroom door. “Dad, are you guys still awake?” “Yeah, come on in, what’s up?” “Well, Dad, I just wanted to say that when you left my room you said, ‘I’m glad we had this chance to talk’ and I just wanted to say that I didn’t say anything.” “Oh, I see, I had a good talk, you had a good […]