Sometimes the deceitfulness of the world, the flesh, and the devil entices us to feel good about our anger. So when a child, a teenager, a spouse, or a friend crosses an arbitrary line we feel totally justified in letting them “have it.” We cover our sin by saying, “I know I shouldn’t be angry, but sometimes you just have to say enough is enough.” Here is one way to tell the difference between righteous anger and man’s anger. Righteous anger does not result in frustration, but in the energy needed to follow God. Your anger results in bitterness, upset towards others and alienation. These are not the marks of a shepherd. Parents, God calls you to be shepherds, not […]
Parenting
598 posts
Why are you here? There are many possible answers. But, perhaps the most important answer is the one we think about the least. The writer of Psalm 73 also asked this question. He looked around at the landscape of his life and asked what good does it do to be concerned about God. The bad guys are fat and happy. They mock God and everybody praises them. Me? I try to do what I am supposed to do, but what does it get me. He did not have a good answer to why he was here on earth. And without a good answer he became discouraged, despondent, bitter. Listen to what he says: Did I keep my heart pure for […]
Parents are to build relationships that honor God. James 3:17 is a remarkable summary of what biblical wisdom looks like in the face of conflict. This verse provides what you need to build relationships that bless your family and honor God. Below this verse is broken-down in bullet-point fashion. There is a personal question for you after each point. Compare this with how you interact with your family. There are six qualities illustrated in this verse of what wisdom from above looks like. Ask your children, your teenagers, your husband or wife how you are doing in these six areas of displaying wisdom. Don’t be defensive – listen and ask God for the power to show his wisdom, wisdom from […]
Anger is most often a response to a perceived injustice. In other words, all that has to happen to become angry is to think an injustice has been committed, even if the wrong never occurred. For example: You come home and your other car is not in the driveway. You become angry because you automatically assume your son has taken it without permission. Then you find out he is doing errand for your wife. Your angry subsides. You were angry at a perceived injustice. This is one reason Paul commands that you not let the sun go down on your anger. You could be angry about something that never really happened. So, Paul says, “in your anger do not sin.” […]
Getting to the Heart of Behavior By Tedd Tripp Ask good questions to help your children understand their attitudes of heart. Think, for example, of the young man who has humiliated his younger brother in the presence of his older friends. You must correct his rude and hurtful behavior, but the wise parent will also help him understand what motivated him. You might have a conversation like this: “Do you think your brother was embarrassed by the ways you spoke to him?” “Yeah, I guess.” “Why do you think he felt so hurt?” “I guess he thought I was making fun of him.” “I think you’re right, he did. This is a hard question, but what do you think was […]
Life is busy. It is tempting to think it doesn’t matter how we get our children to obey as long as they obey. This thinking may well achieve its purpose today, but create serious problems in the years ahead. Specifically I am talking about the distinction between instruction and manipulation. In it’s truest sense instruction means to teach children about God and his ways so that they are challenged to long for a deepening relationship with God. (see Deuteronomy 6:5-7 & Ephesians 6:4) Manipulation cares not for establishing a relationship with God. Manipulation is for rescuing yourself from a crisis of the moment. To illustrate: The pressure is on. It seems as though there are 17 appointments, 6 music lessons, and […]
Six year old Jennifer has shown a pattern of not responding quickly to her mother. Mom realizes the problem lies more with her than with Jennifer. Mom had allowed herself to be distracted by other things. So instead of scolding Jennifer for failing to come eight times in a row, mom says this: “Jennifer, please forgive mommy for encouraging you to disobey me this afternoon.” “Mommy, I don’t understand.” “I realized that I have allowed you not to come when I called. Do you remember not quickly obeying mommy?” “Uh, yessss.” “Do you remember how God wants you to obey?” “To do exactly what I am told, right away, with a good attitude.” “Exactly! This is why I am asking […]
Living for your children will not sustain your life. If your hopes and dreams are bound to your children, you will be disappointed, perhaps even bitter. If you expect your children to provide the comfort and support that can only come from God you will be deeply hurt. You will set yourself up to be disappointed and crushed when your family fails you. No spouse, no child can provide comfort that can only be found in God. God will have no other gods before him. Your first loyalty must be to God and God alone. Children who have become the objects of their parents’ worship cannot bear the weight of being idols for their parents. They will become cynical and […]
Children and pets make wonderful photographs. They also make heartbreaking moments. This combination provides a real-life test of just how practical your theology is. If God is in control of all things and he loves you then how is it possible that your child’s puppy, kitten, parakeet, fish, hamster, turtle or rabbit has gone missing, or worse? It is possible because this is what life is like in a fallen world. If you have pets, this is a question that needs to answered with compassion and credibility. Not having a clear, comforting answer is one way of telling your children that God doesn’t really care about them or understand them. Having pets provides you with the opportunity to trust God’s […]
Talking About Wisdom & Foolishness by Tedd Tripp Imagine that your young son has been influenced to participate in some act of vandalism or disrespect toward others. You could have a conversation like this. “You know that what you have done is wrong, don’t you?” “Yeah, I guess.” “We will have to talk about what you have done and how you can make restitution, but I want you to think about this first. There are two kinds of people in the world. Do you remember who they are?” “The wise man and the fool.” “You’re right; I knew you’d get it. How does the wise man get so wise?” “The fear of the Lord?” “You’re right, the fear of the […]