In the last post we mentioned what the world might be like if there had been no promise of the gospel. But God did give that promise and immediately brought hope to a hopeless situation. As mankind spread throughout the earth from the Garden, as deeply tarnished image-bearers, he never became as bad as he could possibly be. But, apart from those who embraced the redemptive promise given to Adam and Eve, man did become bad—horribly bad. Thus, people made to live in harmony instead lived in strife and tyranny. Unity was replaced with self-centeredness. Among many other terrible sins, bullying was born. Cain, the very first son, killed his brother because he was displeased with him. Later, Moses acts […]
Shaping Influences
117 posts
In the previous post we talked about a gospel-based approach to correcting sin in your children. This approach focused on removing anger from your style of discipline. Now we come to the point raised earlier by our reader—why would a child think that a parent would be angry with him for childish behavior, such as falling in the mud.
If you think that this sounds like a loaded question, you’re right, it is! Toddlers and preschoolers can be prolific question askers. However, it is sometimes a challenge to maintain a high level of interest and enthusiasm to a seemingly unending stream of interrogation. By contrast, many parents are starved for questions coming from their teenagers beyond the standard ones such as, “can I have the keys?” (If you live in Europe, substitute train pass for keys.) I believe there is a connection with the wearisome, almost detached response frequently given to the questions of young children and the lack of sincere questions coming from apparently detached teenagers. I have several thoughts along these lines for you to consider, but […]
The final point that needs to be covered concerning talking to your children about sex and marriage is the joyous pursuit of sexual purity. Sexual purity is the eager and aggressive commitment to trusting God’s parameters for sexual conduct. This should be a pursuit of joy. Sexual purity must not be defined only as a negative. The pursuit is of sexual purity is not only to avoid what is wrong but to eagerly pursue what is right. In this case, what is right is a passionate commitment to engage in sexual matters as God has instructed in his Word. Such purity leads to an active worship of God in all of life. That is something that you can talk about […]
Any conversation with your children about sex and marriage would be incomplete without discussing sexual attraction. This topic often lacks biblical clarity for Christians because it is most commonly discussed outside its biblical context. The Bible is clear: sex is reserved for marriage. If one is attracted to sexual activity, that attraction can be pleasing to God only when it is focused on its expression within marriage.
In the last post I suggested following an incremental approach when beginning to talk about marriage and sexuality; this approach would then culminate in a series of intentional, more structured discussions. These intentional discussions would be the basis for ongoing conversations about marriage and sexuality throughout the teenage years and beyond. The talk that the father in Proverbs 7 has with his son is example of the incremental approach. He took advantage of a situation when it presented itself. The more formal, intentional discussions have their basis in passages like Genesis 1-2, Psalm 139, Song of Solomon, and Ephesians 5:25-33.
This post continues our series on talking to your children about marriage and sex. As we discussed in the previous post, specific topics that need to be addressed should be introduced incrementally. One way to begin this incremental process is to talk about modesty. Granted, each family will likely have its own particular view of what is modest, but all families interested in following biblical principles will be concerned about modesty. Modesty, like all other guidelines, must be rooted in biblical soil to effectively point your children to Christ. In I Timothy 2, modesty is tied to a lifestyle that is appropriate for those who worship God. Paul is, in effect, stating that modesty is consistent with moral purity and […]
The theme of this series of posts is talking to your children about sex and marriage. As I indicated in the first post of this series, I deliberately keep sex and marriage linked because that is how the Bible presents them. Sex is not designed or intended for self-pleasure. Sex does bring pleasure, but engaging in sex for the primary purpose of fulfilling personal desires is the gateway to lust. As Ephesians 4:17-19 teaches, sensitivity to others (the biblical motivation for sex) is the opposite of sensuality (the self-serving pursuit of pleasure). Sensuality leads to sexual perversion and to God’s harsh judgment of abandoning people to their own desires, condemning them to the ultimate consequences of their desires (Romans 1:18-32). […]
One of the more dreaded of parental responsibilities is telling children about sex. This conversation is often so awkward that both parent and child wonder what good could come from it. Sometimes, there is no actual conversation. A parent might hand a book to his or her child and say, “Read this and let me know if you have any questions.” There is a degree of irony in this awkwardness. On the one hand, it is almost impossible to avoid being confronted with sex. Movies, billboards, commercials, songs, news reports, casual conversations, TV programs etc., form a cultural bombardment of sexual themes that invade daily life. On the other hand, at least in most Christian households, sex is not talked […]
This week’s Blog Special Suffering is part of this life. Some of the suffering we bring on ourselves. Some of it comes from the cursed world that we inhabit. And some comes from the ill will of other humans. As the theologians say, we do daily battle with the world, the flesh, and the devil. Frequently it is difficult, if not impossible, to down the cause of suffering. But there is one thing that Christians can know with confidence: whatever the circumstance we face, God has brought it about for our good and his glory. The devastation and large scale suffering that has resulted from this past week’s earthquake in Haiti has once again thrust human suffering to the front […]