Living for your children will not sustain your life. If your hopes and dreams are bound to your children, you will be disappointed, perhaps even bitter. If you expect your children to provide the comfort and support that can only come from God you will be deeply hurt. You will set yourself up to be disappointed and crushed when your family fails you. No spouse, no child can provide comfort that can only be found in God. God will have no other gods before him. Your first loyalty must be to God and God alone.
Children who have become the objects of their parents’ worship cannot bear the weight of being idols for their parents. They will become cynical and disaffected. Children who are the means to their parents enjoyment and personal fulfillment will often despise the beliefs of their family and church. Children who have been relationally abandoned in this way will find no comfort in a gospel that appears to be rigged in their parents favor.
These are some of the reasons children turn from God. Perhaps they are even the underlying reasons for the departure of youth from church. Parents, love God, love your spouse, and in love, prepare your children for the dangerous world that is waiting for them. Doing anything other than this will make your faith appear self-serving. Your children cannot bear the weight of being your salvation. This ugly self-service will ultimately destroy you, your children and your marriage. Attempting to save your life through your children will consume you and them. Do not live for your children. Live for God!
If you cannot love God first, you will not be able to truly love your children. Teach your children, even your toddlers, that they are not the center of your world. God has already claimed that position.
4 thoughts on “Don’t Live For Your Children”
Timely, because it’s not too late. I do wish I had recognized this long ago. My two older adult sons are not walking with God, if fact their path has been self destruction and brokenness for themselves and those who love them, my youngest son, soon to be 15 , determined not to take the path of his older brothers, yet he doesn’t see yet that He is, not one of drugs or alcohol, but refusing and resisting anything “godly” . This is my greatest crippling pain. “I have no greater joy than to know my children walk in Truth.” Likewise, I have no greater pain, I have no joy, sadness is seen in me from far away. I exist, surviving only by the “hope that Jesus will save my children” that hope is the only means I have to even want to live. (Heavy, I know) I didn’t realize nor recognize what a burden, what a heavy weight I put my children. (Though I don’t see I did that with my oldest, as I did have joy, in Christ ,apart from them but their ways have truly broken my heart) my youngest son however, it is now just and I,I’ve enjoyed him so differently then his brothers, perhaps because I was so much older and the knowledge of how fast they grow was such a reality,I wanted to savor those times. But now, …his words just yesterday “I don’t see God like you do mom, I see Him you there just watching and casting spells! You see Him as this all powerful almighty God who can do anything” . I remained quiet, no words came. I’ve been crying and praying.. Call him Lord God, draw him, open his eyes, ears and heart, save him please (also my older sons please) Forgive me Lord, what have I done so wrong? The older ones say that “I shoved out down their throats” though I know I did not, but they were taught…. my youngest, not even close to the raising like his brothers, I didn’t want to “shove” …. (i blamed the father(s) for ungodliness, and myself for failure and bad choices . but what you said makes sense, they have been, especially my youngest the source of my joy (the older ones the source of their father’s joy, and he then shut them off) I’ve been asking the Lord for joy in my heart, knowing that my children need to see a joyful mother, (they recognize fake joy in me), and I am devoted to raising my youngest.. there is nothing, no one else in my life, it’s not about me anymore, I’ve had my “life choices” and cannot bring in anything more for him to handle. In that, he has been who I for. That’s my job, MY place. And though I thoroughly believe that still, making him the source of my joy…. (the older boys the source of my heartache wishing it joy) God I thought, did come before them, perhaps not. I may have made them above God. (I hope not, though if I repent, will they then come to the Lord?) I don’t know how to change this, except ask God too forgive me, change me and show me how. What your said the children will do/nerve i in their faith, it’s where they are. GOD forgive me, please restore me to right as You call right, and please redeem my children. Thank you for this. Fur my walk with God, reproof I needed to repent for my sake and theirs.
Lisa, thank you so much for your comment. I will pray that the Lord will bring mercy to you and your children. Love God, show grace and mercy to your sons and trust God for what he will do. Blessings to you!
Lisa, thank you for your candidness and vulnerability. I too, will be praying for all your boys. Let me encourage you, too. Remember that it is the Holy Spirit’s job to woo your sons, not yours. No one can bear the weight of a soul. Our job is to share and teach, to raise them up in the admoniition of the Lord. His job is to change. Release yourself from that burden. As a Mom, it’s virtually impossible not to care for our children, and their souls…but make sure it’s in the right context…not in blame, and defeat, and grief…but in love, mercy and grace!! Remember that our God convicts, but never condemns. Remember that He who begins a good work, will continue it through to fruition. He is faithful, and He can be trusted. Standing in the gap with you!! ~~Alethia
So happy to have discovered this blog today. This sounds like a breath of fresh air. God bless!