I don’t like correction. There I said it. I like to be right. More importantly, I like it even more when you think I am right. By admitting these things I have also shown a propensity for stupidity. This is but another reminder of the danger of being wise in my own eyes. If I care most about being right, I care most about myself. This desire to be right is destructive to relationships, especially relationships in families. This is not wisdom but stupidity. If I am to learn, I must first love discipline and rebuke. When I recoil at the correction and rebuke of those closest to me, I make myself weak. Instead of trying to find a way […]
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The Thanksgiving season is upon us. Next week will bring the busiest travel days of the year, families will be together, fantastic turkey dinners will be consumed, all done in the name of giving thanks. But then, almost immediately after Thanksgiving dinner ends, the crush and rush of Black Friday begins! The frantic race to Christmas is on. However, before the Christmas season begins, let’s take a few moments to consider why giving thanks is such an important part of life. In truth, every day needs to be Thanksgiving Day. Paul says as much when he says: Give thanks in everything; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. “In everything” is huge. Paul is not speaking metaphorically, […]
We are heartbroken by the number of women and men in our churches who suffer silently. For so many of us, the silence is deafening. Our hearts’ desire is that Treasure in the Ashes will be a voice of hope for those who suffer (whom we call learning friends) and a means of equipping those who want to help (whom we call leading friends). Our workbook is an instrument for local churches and Christian friendships to discover places of refuge and healing as we learn to bear one another’s burdens, not just emotionally, but purposefully. Treasure in the Ashes was designed with the one another relationships of the Bible in mind, because we believe that lasting hope and healing are […]
“Whatever you need, I’ve got your back!” Sounds like the words of a true friend, someone who will do anything for you. If you are discouraged, this friend will find the bright side. If there is something you want, this friend will help you get it. If there is a dispute with someone, this friend will always be on your side. This friend always has something good to say about you and never gives you a hard time. This friend is someone you can trust. Maybe not. “Friends” who will always do what you need may not really be your friend. Instead, whatever good they do for you comes with a hidden price. The apparent selflessness may be a cover […]
“Hey mom, Jeremy is upset.” “Okay Sarah, I’ll be right there.” Mom is thinking, “Here we go again. Sarah is always making Jeremy upset. I can’t finish anything without somebody having an issue. I’ll get to it in a moment.” Here is another example:. “Dad, I’m really sorry I messed up and forgot to cut the grass. I’ll get to it right after lunch. Sorry dad.” Inside, dad is losing it. He is thinking, “When will this kid ever grow up and be responsible?” So in a frustrated voice he says, “James, when is this pattern going to change? You need to start being responsible. Don’t make promises you can’t keep!” Dad walks away miffed, “At least I didn’t yell […]
Are you stupid? This is not a pleasant question to ask. Some might even find it offensive. But stay with me. It is easier to be stupid than you might think! Hating correction is stupid. Not my words, but the Holy Spirit’s. In Proverbs 12:1 the Holy Spirit describes what being stupid is like: Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid. People tend to like to choose whom they allow to offer correction. This may sound attractive but it is not a good plan. You and your children were born needing correction, discipline and training. Frankly, you and I need correction and reproof far more than we can imagine. You are in no position to reject […]
Hypocrisy is something you cannot avoid. You tell your children not to fight and then your argue with your spouse. You tell your children God is in control and then you become angry or despondent about the presidential election. You tell your children to put God first and not be rowdy, and then you realize what you really wanted was just some peace and quiet. Focusing on outward behavior and hypocrisy go hand-in-hand. Your goal must be much more than outward compliance. Looking for quick results and outward compliance is a poor use of authority. This will not build relationships. A desire for quick results or mere outward compliance leaves the door wide open for hypocrisy to do its damage. […]
This is tax week. Monday, April 18th is tax day, the day most Americans love to hate. The tax burden appears to be too high. The government often wastes taxpayer dollars. Sometimes those dollars are spent on unspeakable acts of immorality and injustice. Some governmental leaders and agencies are corrupt. Often the “will of the people” is ignored or even despised. Protests seem useless. All of these things appear to be a good reason not to pay taxes or at least, be disdainful of the process. But God has a different perspective. At the time Paul wrote to the Romans about paying taxes Nero was the Emperor. Nero set the standard for corruption and immortality in government. He targeted Christians […]
Failure to discern who is a genuine, true friend and who is not, leads to being manipulated and used. This may result in, among many other things, bitterness and a crippling inability to trust others. The Holy Spirit has provided tools in Scripture to help you recognize genuine friendship. This is an essential life skill for you and your children. The Proverbs offer reliable observations about friendship. For example look at Proverbs 12:18: “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” These words provide insight about how to distinguish between the wise and the reckless. The reckless or rash person’s words hurt and bring pain. They cut deeply. When someone claims to […]
Just to be clear, taking care of your health is a vital obligation you have before God. Having said that, here is a question to consider: Do you care more about being healthy or holy? Let’s think this through. Being as healthy as you can is important! However, problems with your health can take nothing from you that will damage your relationship with God. Sin, on the other hand, will do this and much more. Being sick or injured cannot keep you from God, but sin certainly will. Maintaining good health is something most people take seriously. Sin – not so much. For example, spending time and money to find the right diagnosis for a health issue is done without […]