Turning from conflict

Posted on · Posted in Communication, Parenting, Wisdom

Parents are to build relationships that honor God. James 3:17 is a remarkable summary of what biblical wisdom looks like in the face of conflict. This verse provides what you need to build relationships that bless your family and honor God.
Below this verse is broken-down in bullet-point fashion. There is a personal question for you after each point. Compare this with how you interact with your family. There are six qualities illustrated in this verse of what wisdom from above looks like. Ask your children, your teenagers, your husband or wife how you are doing in these six areas of displaying wisdom. Don’t be defensive – listen and ask God for the power to show his wisdom, wisdom from above.  Don’t be dominated by conflict. Be an example of one who lives by wisdom from above!

James 3:17

But the wisdom from above:

is first pure,
are your motives to honor God or to make things easier for you?

then peaceable,
do you seek peace or demand that your will be followed?

is your family eager to talk with you or do they fear your reproach?

open to reason,
are others confident they will be fairly understood by you?

full of mercy and good fruits,
do you respond with grace or with disappointment & frustration?

impartial and sincere.
is your bottom line honoring God or getting what you want?

Jay Younts
John A. (Jay) Younts is the Shepherd Press blogger, and is a ruling elder serving at Redeemer Associate Reformed Presbyterian Church in Moore, South Carolina. He has written Everyday Talk, Everyday Talk About Sex & Marriage, Finding the Right Track, the In Touch With Paul stewardship series, and What About War. He has studied and taught about biblical childrearing for 30 years. He and his late wife Ruth have five adult children.