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We Need Better Men

We need better men. No, we don’t need perfect men, but we do need better men. Even though Christ is the only perfect man and the sole head of the church, the body of Christ needs men of integrity and grit. Although this book is written with love and goodwill, it is a direct call to war. It is a call for Christian men to make war against the things that belittle the glory of God, wound their wives and children, and disqualify them from fruitful ministry. At the outset, I want to lay down a gauntlet by urging you to examine yourself. Has the gospel of Jesus Christ come to you in power? By God’s grace, have you come […]

Introduction to “Man Up, Kneel Down”

Many godly men and women have put pen to paper and produced wonderfully God-exalting books about marriage. It is with great humility (and some frayed nerves) that I offer this simple work to you, my brother, for your joy and the glory of God. In one sense, the sacred institution of marriage has always suffered violence at the hands of our spiritual enemy and man’s own inherent depravity. However, our day is one in which the Christ-magnifying institution of marriage is enduring not merely bullets and hand grenades, but atomic bombs. The aim of this book is simple yet multifaceted. I want to lovingly charge Christian men to embrace the well-known yet seldom-lived call of Ephesians chapter five: “Husbands, love […]

Announcing “Man Up, Kneel Down” — A New Book for Husbands

“Man Up, Kneel Down by J. Aaron White encouraged me as a husband and gave me practical suggestions for how I can grow in my love and care for my wife. You can’t ask for more out of a book. Good marriage books are like vitamins, you gotta keep taking them to benefit. So, get a copy of Man Up, Kneel Down and get the spiritual nutrition you need to keep your marriage growing and healthy.” —Marty Machowski, author of The Ology and Parenting First Aid: Hope for the Discouraged Many Christian husbands know and affirm the apostle Paul’s command: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). However, busy schedules, […]

Redemptive Purposes in Your Teen’s Depression

The truth that God can work good out of this season of depression (Romans 8: 28) is a consolation to use sensitively. However, it’s not without biblical merit to suggest that God intends to use this season of suffering to spiritually refine both you and your teen. Let’s briefly consider three purposes. First, you may find that your teen’s depression serves as an opportunity for you to share the gospel with him or her. If your child has yet to place his or her hope in Christ, now is the time to extend God’s gracious invitation. It may be God’s plan that your teen comes to saving faith in Jesus because of this trial (Psalm 119:71). If your teen doesn’t […]

Understanding Your Teen’s Depression

While it can be tempting to view your teen’s depression as pouting, or simply the result of hormone fluctuations, the truth is that your child’s despondency is an outward expression of internal unrest. It can be tempting to grow impatient with your teen’s emotional instability. Oftentimes, in frustration, parents may resort to trite slogans and superficial encouragements. Even so, a “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality is desperately insufficient to help our teens. In fact, any strategy that invites us to rely upon our own willpower for change is a limited resource at best, and painfully destructive at worst, “for not by might shall a man prevail” (1 Samuel 2:9). It’s important to view depression through a biblical lens. […]

The Light of the World

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” —Matthew 5:13-16 What Christ does here is amazing. He who called himself the Light of the World […]

Slow Down and Listen

Foolish responses without listening will make your children disinterested in speaking with you. They will take their conversations somewhere else where they can be heard. If your children are saying “You never listen to me,” it is because they feel you never listen to them. Slow down and listen. There is a perceptive insight in Proverbs 20:5: “The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.” There is more depth in your children than you might imagine. Drawing those deep waters out requires patience and great skill. It also requires being sensitive to the right moment. There are times when children are talkative and times when you cannot pry anything from them […]

Review of “31 Ways to be a One-Another Christian”

Thanks to Sue Nicewander Delaney and the Biblical Counseling Coalition for this positive review of 31 Ways to be a “One-Another” Christian. “Rich with Scripture verses and biblical examples, the authors’ clear, gentle but poignant style and powerful use of the Word make this a convicting read. Every believer can point to both failed and successful personal relationships. Sometimes our interactions are full of joy, but others may prove to be so difficult that the wisest route seems unclear. The authors’ skillful construction of application questions can serve as a laser that surgically reveals personal responsibility. Scott and Jin urge readers to engage according to the example of Jesus Christ, who clarifies and refines our motives as He leads us. […]

Discipline: Communication and Prayer

Dialogue One of the most destructive aspects of ungodly discipline and correction is the lack of godly dialogue. God has wonderfully provided all the apparatus for meaningful communication with one another. Yet the most life shaping opportunities parents have in their children’s lives are often one-sided. Monologue is not godly communication. Long speeches that try to strong-arm our children with arguments, threats, warnings, and predictions will not change their hearts. It will harden their hearts. All of our conversation with our children should afford them an opportunity to respond—not as peers, but as children interacting with the direction and instruction of parents. We should encourage children to respectfully respond in conversation to help us understand how they are feeling, thinking, […]

From the Archives: Keeping the Gospel Central

Shaming your children is hypocritical. That, of course, is where you will always end up when you are trying to manipulate behavior. If, however, you deal with the heart, you will no longer be hypocritically distanced from your child. You can stand in solidarity with him and his struggles with selfishness. You can put your arm around him and say, “I understand what you are experiencing. I understand selfishness. I have my own struggles with being selfish.” Please note: You are not excusing selfishness as okay since you are selfish too. Rather, you are simply identifying with this common struggle with sin. Not only do you understand the struggle, you know where to go with your struggles with selfishness. You […]