Marriage

39 posts

Point Your Wife to Christ

As Christian husbands, we should seek to cultivate a John the Baptist mentality. This does not mean we should eat bugs and wear an animal-skin loincloth. Granted, that may be counted as manly amusement for some, but it is not what I am referring to. What I mean is illustrated in John’s Gospel. Referring to Christ, John the Baptist told some of his followers: “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30). Despite his own success in ministry, John knew his role. He gladly embraced his calling to point others to the Lamb of God, the Messiah. John maintained that he was not the one the people were looking for— Jesus was. As Christian husbands, we would do well […]

Hear Her: Fight the Urge to Fix

Like Peter in Gethsemane, many of us are prone to pull our swords and swing before we ask pertinent questions. We hear of a problem with our children, our neighbors, our home, or our marriages and we immediately unsheathe our swords and start looking for a dragon to slay. For others, they reach for their toolboxes and power saws with the aim of gutting and remodeling instead of studying the blueprints. Sometimes this is appropriate. If our wives come to us in need of help, it is fitting that we act quickly. However, there are times in marriage when the best and most helpful thing we can do is unplug our power tools, grab a cup of coffee or tea, […]

Hear Her: Listen Actively

From cell phones to incessant demands from work, many guys feel justified in developing the ancient art of zoning out. As men redeemed by the precious blood of Christ, the grace we have received should impact every area of our lives— including our ears. It is likely the understatement of the century to say that our wives often have helpful, wise, and biblically insightful things to say. In other words, don’t be a fool: “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice” (Prov. 12:15). One of the ways that we can honor, love, and encourage our wives is to zone in and hear them. This takes effort on our part. […]

Guard Your Wife’s Heart Too

For previous entries in this series, see “Pursue Godly Manhood” and “Don’t Let Chivalry Die on Your Watch.” Guard Her Heart Too Protecting your wife includes protecting her spiritually, not just physically. To this end, a Christian husband should exercise great care in guarding his wife from the many threats to her spiritual health. As you talk about life, jobs, kids, neighbors, church members, and money, be sure that your speech does not tempt her to sin. My wife and I communicate regularly; it is a gift in our marriage that has paid many dividends. However, I have foolishly steered many conversations away from healthy discussion to rank gossip and slander. We need Paul’s words stamped on our brains and […]

Don’t Let Chivalry Die on Your Watch

Let me be clear: being a nice, moral guy will not save you, nor will it save your family. God’s wrath against your sin is only satisfied by Christ (cf. 2 Cor. 5:21). But even though acts of kindness are not the root of our justification, they are certainly the fruit of our justification. After rejoicing over God’s sovereign grace toward sinners, Paul goes on: “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Eph. 2:10). Therefore, acts of kindness and love toward our spouses are not a works-based self-rescue plan; they are the overflow of our joy in Christ and the pursuit of joy in serving […]

Pursue Godly Manhood

There seems to be a renaissance of manliness in our day. Even Walmart and other major retailers have started capitalizing on the new interest in beard oil, mustache wax, and work boots. Although I am moderately encouraged by these recent developments, there is still a great deal of confusion to slice through when it comes to manhood in our culture. More alarming, there seems to be confusion about godly manhood among Christian husbands. Let me be clear: there is nothing wrong with beards, flannels, bonfires, work boots, pocket knives, pickup trucks, or hatchet throwing. In fact, it might do some of us a lot of good to put our phones down and spend some time in the woods. Nevertheless, God’s […]

We Need Better Men

We need better men. No, we don’t need perfect men, but we do need better men. Even though Christ is the only perfect man and the sole head of the church, the body of Christ needs men of integrity and grit. Although this book is written with love and goodwill, it is a direct call to war. It is a call for Christian men to make war against the things that belittle the glory of God, wound their wives and children, and disqualify them from fruitful ministry. At the outset, I want to lay down a gauntlet by urging you to examine yourself. Has the gospel of Jesus Christ come to you in power? By God’s grace, have you come […]

Introduction to “Man Up, Kneel Down”

Many godly men and women have put pen to paper and produced wonderfully God-exalting books about marriage. It is with great humility (and some frayed nerves) that I offer this simple work to you, my brother, for your joy and the glory of God. In one sense, the sacred institution of marriage has always suffered violence at the hands of our spiritual enemy and man’s own inherent depravity. However, our day is one in which the Christ-magnifying institution of marriage is enduring not merely bullets and hand grenades, but atomic bombs. The aim of this book is simple yet multifaceted. I want to lovingly charge Christian men to embrace the well-known yet seldom-lived call of Ephesians chapter five: “Husbands, love […]

Announcing “Man Up, Kneel Down” — A New Book for Husbands

“Man Up, Kneel Down by J. Aaron White encouraged me as a husband and gave me practical suggestions for how I can grow in my love and care for my wife. You can’t ask for more out of a book. Good marriage books are like vitamins, you gotta keep taking them to benefit. So, get a copy of Man Up, Kneel Down and get the spiritual nutrition you need to keep your marriage growing and healthy.” —Marty Machowski, author of The Ology and Parenting First Aid: Hope for the Discouraged Many Christian husbands know and affirm the apostle Paul’s command: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). However, busy schedules, […]

Empty Boxes, Hurting Hearts

Another Valentine’s Day has come and gone. Gifts were given. Some carefully planned and thoughtful, others, not so much. The flowers are in their vases, the chocolate has been enjoyed, the calendar has a new date. But the most important question still remains. How is your relationship? Did last night help to make it stronger? Do doubts still remain? Does the new morning bring new worries? The answers to these questions are found in the relationship that matters most – your relationship with God. Knowing and loving God gives significance to all other relationships. This morning after, one thing is certain above all others, God has not changed. He is constant. This means the content of love does not change. […]