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Archive for the 'Discipline' Category

Self-control and your children

Posted on February 16th, 2016 · Posted in Discipline, Parenting, Wisdom

Self-control is the fruit of the Spirit. In other words it is the evidence, the legacy of the Spirit’s work in the life of God’s people. This means we are talking about more than just physical or mental discipline. Any human can show control over these things. But only someone who is born of the Spirit of God can practice biblical self-control. This is why the biblical definition that Ruth Younts gives for self-control is vital for your children. “Self-control is the ability to say no to my wrong desires.. read more

Talking with your teenage son about pornography

Posted on February 8th, 2016 · Posted in Discipline, Teenagers

You just confirmed that your fifteen-year-old son, Justin, has been looking at pornography. Following is an example of a conversation that demonstrates what I Corinthians 13:4-7 looks like in action. See how many positive attributes of love you can find in Dad’s conversation. “Justin, we have to talk about the images you were viewing on the computer.” “Dad, I really don’t want to and I am not going to – it is really none of your business.” “I think I understand why you would say that. I didn’t want to.. read more

Keep your child from the brink of destruction

Posted on October 29th, 2015 · Posted in Culture, Discipline, Fear of the Lord

In his first epistle, the apostle John speaks of the world as a hostile place. This hostility, however, is masked by deception. The world does not present itself as a hostile enemy. Rather, the world offers itself as the ultimate source of pleasure, fulfillment and satisfaction. The success of this deception is evident in the lives of many children from Christian homes who have been savaged by the world. Too many have repeated the cry of Proverbs: “Afterward you will groan in anguish when disease consumes your body, and you.. read more

The mercy of biblical discipline

Posted on September 3rd, 2015 · Posted in Discipline, Gospel

Biblical discipline has to do with love and delight, not primarily accountability and control. Biblical discipline is not about fairness, it is about mercy. Biblical discipline is not about treating children as their sins deserve. Would you really ask God to treat you as your sins deserve? If you don’t want God to treat you with fairness, then don’t make fairness the standard of your parenting. How much of the wonder and mercy of biblical discipline do you communicate to your children? Stay with me here! I am not advocating.. read more

Instruction that protects

Posted on August 19th, 2015 · Posted in Discipline, Wisdom

The process of instruction is complete when the truth that is learned begins to protect those who hear it. Proverbs 6:22 defines the goal of biblical parental instruction. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. This passage in Proverbs is the goal of what is commanded in Deuteronomy 6:4-7.  Truth is to be passed on from one heart to another heart. The goal of biblical instruction is to have your children own the truth.. read more

Avoid pain, avoid peace

Posted on July 19th, 2015 · Posted in Discipline, Gospel

Modern culture has an aversion to pain. But if avoiding pain becomes a parent’s bottom line, peace and hope are lost! Consider Hebrews 12:11: For the moment all discipline seems
painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of
righteousness to those who have been trained by it. There are three important parts to this verse. First, discipline is painful rather than pleasant. Discipline is meant to highlight the unpleasantness of sin. Discipline, must not be confused with retribution. A child ought to be motivated to avoid discipline. It.. read more

God calls you to be shepherds, not enforcers.

Posted on August 27th, 2014 · Posted in Discipline

The deceitfulness of the world, the flesh, and the devil entices us to feel good about our anger. So when a child, a teenager, a spouse, or a friend crosses an arbitrary line we feel totally justified in letting them “have it.” We cover our sin by saying, “I know I shouldn’t be angry, but sometimes you just have to say enough is enough.”    This sort of language and rationalization will receive a hearty Amen from the Satanic cheering section. We think we have been strong, when in fact.. read more

School and Gospel Grace

Posted on August 19th, 2014 · Posted in Discipline, Gospel

School has started.   Even though summer has another month on the calendar, it has already ended.  Schedules, grades, behavioral concerns, homework, and extra-curricular activities once again have center stage.  Of course, all of life’s regular challenges are still present: financial issues, home and car maintenance, issues at work, relational struggles, problems at church, appointments, etc. In the midst of all this day-to-day turmoil your children can begin to feel less like a blessing and more like a burden.   It is one thing to say that your children are.. read more

Patience, Discipline and Faith

Posted on July 30th, 2014 · Posted in Discipline, Wisdom

In the context of God’s commands for parents, consider the text of Hebrews 12:5-11. Let’s focus on verse 11 of that passage: For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. There are three important parts to this verse. First, discipline is painful rather than pleasant. Discipline is meant to highlight the unpleasantness of sin. Discipline, must not be confused with retribution. A child ought to be motivated to avoid this discipline… read more

Explanation may lead to Exasperation

Posted on April 18th, 2012 · Posted in Authority, Communication, Discipline

Ephesians warns fathers not to exasperate their children. To be sure, there are a number of ways to exasperate children.  But, I believe one of the most subtle and discouraging ways of doing this is the wrong use of explanations in disciplining children. Explanations can become damaging when they are based on attempts at persuasive argumentation, rather than training based upon Scripture.

Why is Sin Attractive?

Posted on September 24th, 2009 · Posted in Communication, Discipline, Parenting

Sin is deceptive. Parents, this is one truth that should never be far from your thoughts. Sin never presents itself for what it is. Anger appears to be a just response when one is wronged. A lie seems to be the easy way out of a difficult situation. This is the nature of sin. It seems to be the right thing to do at the moment. No matter how long you live, sin will present itself in this way.

The Circle of Blessing

Posted on July 30th, 2009 · Posted in Discipline, Parenting

This post addresses the first question that Wendy raised in her recent comment. We looked at her question regarding the gospel and obedience in the previous post. It is precisely because children are not born in a neutral state (Ephesians 2:1-3, Romans 3, Galatians 5:19-21), but in rebellion to God, that the gospel must be at the forefront of discipline. Children are to obey their parents because God has commanded them to do so. One of the means, if not the primary means, that God uses to draw children to.. read more

But Later On…

Posted on July 29th, 2009 · Posted in Discipline

Biblical parenting is first of all an exercise in biblical faith. This fact makes biblical parenting different from every other parenting methodology. A journey of faith cannot be accurately measured by visible markers. Other forms of parenting are measured by evaluating immediate responses–if behavior doesn’t change quickly, then the methods must not be correct. Thankfully, God calls us to trust him in faith. In biblical parenting, the primary objective is not to make the child happy, but to bring him to the cross of Christ. This brings us to a.. read more

Something to Consider

Posted on July 28th, 2009 · Posted in Discipline

Hebrews 12:5-11 has some intriguing words regarding discipline. Give these words some thought and we will look at them in more detail in the next post. 5And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?    “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,   nor be weary when reproved by him. 6For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”  7It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is.. read more

Talking to Joshua

Posted on March 24th, 2009 · Posted in Authority, Communication, Discipline, Parenting

In a recent post I described a stressed mom talking to her son, Joshua. This mother was correcting Joshua for complaining. And it was essential that his mom give him both correction and direction. Let's take another look at that example and consider in detail how a mom could respond more helpfully. For this illustration we will assume that remedial verbal discipline was the appropriate response. Just saying that phrase–remedial verbal discipline–sounds heavy and confrontational, invoking memories of lectures and sharp tones. Correcting Joshua about complaining was not a pleasant.. read more

When Schoolwork isn’t Done

Posted on January 22nd, 2009 · Posted in Authority, Discipline, Parenting

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land." Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-4 The last issue to consider regarding schoolwork, at least for this series of posts, is what to do when schoolwork does not happen. Let me sound a strong.. read more

Promoting Schoolwork

Posted on January 20th, 2009 · Posted in Authority, Discipline, Parenting

The wise in heart are called discerning,        and pleasant words promote instruction. Proverbs 16:21 This series of posts is in response to this question and comment.  I'd like to see you address the topic of motivation in schoolwork sometime on your blog. How do we use the Scriptures to instill in our kids a motivation to do their best in their studies? What form should discipline take for children who do not apply themselves the way they should? In the previous post we saw that schoolwork is something given.. read more

Gospel Driven Schoolwork

Posted on January 16th, 2009 · Posted in Discipline, Parenting, Worldview

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.  —Proverbs 3:5-6 In the last post we looked at a request regarding motivation and children doing schoolwork. I’d like to see you address the topic of motivation in schoolwork sometime on your blog. How do we use the Scriptures to instill in our kids a motivation to do their best in their studies? What form should discipline take for children who do.. read more

Schoolwork – Getting it Done

Posted on January 13th, 2009 · Posted in Discipline, Godward Orientation

Trust in the LORD with all your heart        and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways acknowledge him,        and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5&6 The following request came in from one of our readers. I'd like to see you address the topic of motivation in schoolwork sometime on your blog. How do we use the Scriptures to instill in our kids a motivation to do their best in their studies? What form should discipline take for children who do not apply themselves.. read more

Facebook & Your Time

Posted on January 12th, 2009 · Posted in Communication, Discipline, Facebook, Worldview

Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. ESV Colossians 4:5   Due to an excellent observation in a comment from Jenny, this post will address another issue regarding Facebook. Your comments and thoughts are valuable. There have been a number of good suggestions for posts in the last couple of weeks and, Lord willing, we will get to them all. Jenny raised an important consideration in her comment. She raised the concept of “me time.” As Christians our lives are to be centered on bringing.. read more