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Archive for the 'Discipline' Category

Worry, anxiety, obedience and your children

Posted on June 27th, 2017 · Posted in Bible, Discipline, Parenting

Obedience to God is something that is meant to bring comfort and peace to life. The Holy Spirit illuminates his word so that obedience can be the ultimate stress reliever. Jesus urges you to know the relief and refreshment from taking his yoke upon you instead of trying to figure out life for yourself. John says the commands of God are not burdensome. I can hear someone thinking or saying, “Time out! These are not exactly my first thoughts about obedience. What are you talking about?” Well, such an objection.. read more

Repost: The Mercy of Biblical Discipline

Posted on June 13th, 2017 · Posted in Discipline, Parenting

Biblical discipline has to do with love and delight, not primarily accountability and control. Biblical discipline is not about fairness, it is about mercy. Biblical discipline is not about treating children as their sins deserve. Would you really ask God to treat you as your sins deserve? If you don’t want God to treat you with fairness, then don’t make fairness the standard of your parenting. How much of the wonder and mercy of biblical discipline do you communicate to your children? Stay with me here! I am not advocating.. read more

Children: gift or trial?

Posted on July 7th, 2016 · Posted in Discipline, Gospel, Parenting

You introduce your children to a new friend. With a big smile you say, “here is my collection of living, breathing trials. I can’t wait for you to meet them.” Your friend says, “Did you just call your children trials?!?” You reply, “Yes, yes I did. Honesty is the best policy and honestly, trials are exactly what they are, all three of them. Care for lunch?” I know, sort of a bizarre conversation, isn’t it. Or is it? When things are challenging with your children, it is easier to think.. read more

Three marks of effective discipline

Posted on July 6th, 2016 · Posted in Discipline

If discipline is to be effective it must contain at least 3 three qualities. Otherwise the discipline will not result in growth but frustration. It is vital that you, as a parent, see discipline as something that is positive and not punitive. Discipline is not about retribution or getting even. Discipline has the goal of producing peace. Without that goal, discipline becomes a manipulate tool that will drive your children far from you. Hebrews 12:11 provides this positive view of discipline: “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than.. read more

Are you stupid?

Posted on June 15th, 2016 · Posted in Discipline

Are you stupid? This is not a pleasant question to ask. Some might even find it offensive. But stay with me. It is easier to be stupid than you might think! In Proverbs 12:1 the Holy Spirit describes what being stupid is like: Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid. Hating correction is stupid. Not my words, but the Holy Spirit’s. People tend to like to choose whom they allow to offer correction. This may sound attractive but it is not a good plan. You and.. read more

Whining children, broken lives

Posted on March 29th, 2016 · Posted in Discipline, Ruling Desires, Shaping Influences

Your six-year-old has become so obsessed with wanting his brother’s radio controlled car that he has made himself sick whining and complaining about it. There is a reason the Holy Spirit warns against grumbling and complaining. This familiar scenario does not seem as shocking as the story of a teenager obsessed with pornography. However, the attitudes that fuel the teenager’s lust and obsession are the same ones that control your six-year old. This point must not be missed. You must connect the dots of self-pity in your young children with.. read more

Self-control and your children

Posted on February 16th, 2016 · Posted in Discipline, Parenting, Wisdom

Self-control is the fruit of the Spirit. In other words it is the evidence, the legacy of the Spirit’s work in the life of God’s people. This means we are talking about more than just physical or mental discipline. Any human can show control over these things. But only someone who is born of the Spirit of God can practice biblical self-control. This is why the biblical definition that Ruth Younts gives for self-control is vital for your children. “Self-control is the ability to say no to my wrong desires.. read more

Talking with your teenage son about pornography

Posted on February 8th, 2016 · Posted in Discipline, Teenagers

You just confirmed that your fifteen-year-old son, Justin, has been looking at pornography. Following is an example of a conversation that demonstrates what I Corinthians 13:4-7 looks like in action. See how many positive attributes of love you can find in Dad’s conversation. “Justin, we have to talk about the images you were viewing on the computer.” “Dad, I really don’t want to and I am not going to – it is really none of your business.” “I think I understand why you would say that. I didn’t want to.. read more

Keep your child from the brink of destruction

Posted on October 29th, 2015 · Posted in Culture, Discipline, Fear of the Lord

In his first epistle, the apostle John speaks of the world as a hostile place. This hostility, however, is masked by deception. The world does not present itself as a hostile enemy. Rather, the world offers itself as the ultimate source of pleasure, fulfillment and satisfaction. The success of this deception is evident in the lives of many children from Christian homes who have been savaged by the world. Too many have repeated the cry of Proverbs: “Afterward you will groan in anguish when disease consumes your body, and you.. read more

The mercy of biblical discipline

Posted on September 3rd, 2015 · Posted in Discipline, Gospel

Biblical discipline has to do with love and delight, not primarily accountability and control. Biblical discipline is not about fairness, it is about mercy. Biblical discipline is not about treating children as their sins deserve. Would you really ask God to treat you as your sins deserve? If you don’t want God to treat you with fairness, then don’t make fairness the standard of your parenting. How much of the wonder and mercy of biblical discipline do you communicate to your children? Stay with me here! I am not advocating.. read more

Instruction that protects

Posted on August 19th, 2015 · Posted in Discipline, Wisdom

The process of instruction is complete when the truth that is learned begins to protect those who hear it. Proverbs 6:22 defines the goal of biblical parental instruction. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. This passage in Proverbs is the goal of what is commanded in Deuteronomy 6:4-7.  Truth is to be passed on from one heart to another heart. The goal of biblical instruction is to have your children own the truth.. read more

Avoid pain, avoid peace

Posted on July 19th, 2015 · Posted in Discipline, Gospel

Modern culture has an aversion to pain. But if avoiding pain becomes a parent’s bottom line, peace and hope are lost! Consider Hebrews 12:11: For the moment all discipline seems
painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of
righteousness to those who have been trained by it. There are three important parts to this verse. First, discipline is painful rather than pleasant. Discipline is meant to highlight the unpleasantness of sin. Discipline, must not be confused with retribution. A child ought to be motivated to avoid discipline. It.. read more

God calls you to be shepherds, not enforcers.

Posted on August 27th, 2014 · Posted in Discipline

The deceitfulness of the world, the flesh, and the devil entices us to feel good about our anger. So when a child, a teenager, a spouse, or a friend crosses an arbitrary line we feel totally justified in letting them “have it.” We cover our sin by saying, “I know I shouldn’t be angry, but sometimes you just have to say enough is enough.”    This sort of language and rationalization will receive a hearty Amen from the Satanic cheering section. We think we have been strong, when in fact.. read more

School and Gospel Grace

Posted on August 19th, 2014 · Posted in Discipline, Gospel

School has started.   Even though summer has another month on the calendar, it has already ended.  Schedules, grades, behavioral concerns, homework, and extra-curricular activities once again have center stage.  Of course, all of life’s regular challenges are still present: financial issues, home and car maintenance, issues at work, relational struggles, problems at church, appointments, etc. In the midst of all this day-to-day turmoil your children can begin to feel less like a blessing and more like a burden.   It is one thing to say that your children are.. read more

Patience, Discipline and Faith

Posted on July 30th, 2014 · Posted in Discipline, Wisdom

In the context of God’s commands for parents, consider the text of Hebrews 12:5-11. Let’s focus on verse 11 of that passage: For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. There are three important parts to this verse. First, discipline is painful rather than pleasant. Discipline is meant to highlight the unpleasantness of sin. Discipline, must not be confused with retribution. A child ought to be motivated to avoid this discipline… read more

Explanation may lead to Exasperation

Posted on April 18th, 2012 · Posted in Authority, Communication, Discipline

Ephesians warns fathers not to exasperate their children. To be sure, there are a number of ways to exasperate children.  But, I believe one of the most subtle and discouraging ways of doing this is the wrong use of explanations in disciplining children. Explanations can become damaging when they are based on attempts at persuasive argumentation, rather than training based upon Scripture.

Why is Sin Attractive?

Posted on September 24th, 2009 · Posted in Communication, Discipline, Parenting

Sin is deceptive. Parents, this is one truth that should never be far from your thoughts. Sin never presents itself for what it is. Anger appears to be a just response when one is wronged. A lie seems to be the easy way out of a difficult situation. This is the nature of sin. It seems to be the right thing to do at the moment. No matter how long you live, sin will present itself in this way.

The Circle of Blessing

Posted on July 30th, 2009 · Posted in Discipline, Parenting

This post addresses the first question that Wendy raised in her recent comment. We looked at her question regarding the gospel and obedience in the previous post. It is precisely because children are not born in a neutral state (Ephesians 2:1-3, Romans 3, Galatians 5:19-21), but in rebellion to God, that the gospel must be at the forefront of discipline. Children are to obey their parents because God has commanded them to do so. One of the means, if not the primary means, that God uses to draw children to.. read more

But Later On…

Posted on July 29th, 2009 · Posted in Discipline

Biblical parenting is first of all an exercise in biblical faith. This fact makes biblical parenting different from every other parenting methodology. A journey of faith cannot be accurately measured by visible markers. Other forms of parenting are measured by evaluating immediate responses–if behavior doesn’t change quickly, then the methods must not be correct. Thankfully, God calls us to trust him in faith. In biblical parenting, the primary objective is not to make the child happy, but to bring him to the cross of Christ. This brings us to a.. read more

Something to Consider

Posted on July 28th, 2009 · Posted in Discipline

Hebrews 12:5-11 has some intriguing words regarding discipline. Give these words some thought and we will look at them in more detail in the next post. 5And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?    “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,   nor be weary when reproved by him. 6For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”  7It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is.. read more