34 posts

Your Middle Schooler Lied

Jesus died for you. He was resurrected for you. He gave you life. He gave you the opportunity to tell your kids how special he is to you. Jesus made a commitment to you. It’s personal! Do your kids know how special he is to you? Here is a way to let them know. You have caught your middle school child in a lie. You have confronted him with his lie and he has admitted it. Then you tell your child something like this: “Justin, I know what it is like to lie. When mommy was a little girl, I used to lie when I didn’t want to get in trouble. As a matter of fact, I lied all the […]

Believing Your Own Lies

Rick was angry. He had been turned down for a promotion again. Someone else with less experience was given the position. By the time Rick arrived at home, he was seething. He snapped at the kids, yelled at his wife and started bitterly complaining about his supervisor. Even the dog could not escape Rick’s wrath. “How can they do this to me? I do a great job for the company. This is so wrong! I am praying for God to judge them.” But the truth is, Rick was not a good employee. His job performance was getting worse, not better. What he didn’t know was that in two days he would be fired. He complained so much that no one […]

A Fatal Attraction

Luke tells the story about how the early Christians were caring for each other’s needs. He specifically mentions a Cypriot Levite named Joseph who sold a field and brought the money from the sale to the apostles. Joseph’s gift and example was such a blessing that the apostles called him Barnabas, which means “son of encouragement.” This was a good thing. There was a married couple who apparently observed Barnabas’ good deed and the appreciation he received for it. So they sold some property that they owned. But something happened to these two when they collected the money from the sale. While we can’t be exactly sure of their thoughts, Luke does tell us about the plan that they conceived, […]

Lying To Acquire 

Lying and the pursuit of sinful desires go hand-in-hand. For example:  Teenagers are unlikely to tell their parents that they want to borrow the car to go to a party with drugs, drinking and sex. No, the story will more likely be along the lines of “… a couple of the guys want to go catch a movie and a pizza. And since Joe has to go back to school in a couple of days, I’ll be later than normal, okay? Thanks Dad!”  Lying becomes more sophisticated as children grow older. The lies progress from from immediate cover-ups and blame-shifting to more elaborate plans and schemes designed to acquire objects, favors or, as noted, to feed lustful desires. This type […]

Why We Lie

It was a cleverly concealed lie, easy to miss, and delivered with respect. Ryan asked if he could remain at home for a planned family outing.  He said he wasn’t feeling great, was short on sleep, and had a big week at school coming up.  So, he would super appreciate being allowed to chill at home.  In the rush of family life, it seems an easy request to grant. But what Ryan had planned was anything but restful! Ryan knew there was no way he could get permission for the real reason he wanted to stay home. So he lied. Sadly, Ryan’s decision to lie is a common one.  Lies can be carefully crafted ones like Ryan’s or they can […]

What To Do About Lying As Your Child Grows

Shepherding a Child’s Heart stresses the importance of engaging children at various age levels. With young children you want to firmly establish the authority of God and his directives not to lie. This is the time to establish that lying is wrong because God says it is. Lying is not serving God, and life will not go well for the liar. This is not a time for extensive reasoning and deep introspection. God hates lying, and it must be rejected. Swift, direct and loving discipline is appropriate. Lying is not a stage that will be naturally left behind. If not biblically addressed, lying will become a way of life. See Proverbs 12:19 & 22. With children in the second age […]

Why Do You Lie?

When you and I lie we sometimes tend to treat the problem as one of self-protection. We lie because we can’t allow others to know what we really are inside. The hard truth is that you and I are born liars. We are blinded by self-interest (Proverbs 4:19; Psalm 58:3). Lying is the extension of a self-centered nature. You tend to lie in three types of circumstances. First, when you fear a consequence so much that you will do anything to avoid it. Second, you tend to lie when there is something you eagerly desire, and fudging the truth a bit seems to be the best way to get it. In both situations the reason for the lie is the […]

Mommy, The Puppy Is Outside!

Wisdom teaches your child that telling the truth is more than just saying things that are true. Being truthful means speaking accurately, without exaggerating or being misleading. Your child needs wisdom to be truthful. Truth telling is a conscious effort to supply accurate information that honors God and not self. It is possible to say things that are accurate and still hide the truth. This is the distinction that you must teach to your children. No child is born wise. Wisdom is a skill that must be acquired. If you are waiting for your child to grow up and begin to make wise choices, you will be waiting a long time. In order to be truthful, wisdom is required. This […]

Lying to God

Parents, if you put up with a grumbling, complaining spirit as the price for your children following your directions, you open the door to lying to God. God desires obedience from the heart, not the outward form of ritual sacrifice. (Amos 5:21-23; Isaiah 29:13) So, the mindset that says, “At least he took the garbage out, even though he moaned and groaned about it,” totally misses the point of loving God. This child is not being shepherded. Rather he is being encouraged to believe that God can be misled by mere outward compliance to his commands. We see a similar scenario in the story of Ananias and Sapphire: “Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold […]

Lying, the next level

The next progression in lying is to lie when there is something to be acquired. This type of lie can range from trying to make someone else look bad to scheming to obtain something that cannot be had in a way that pleases God. In both situations the reason for the lie is the same—self-centeredness. But in this second type of lie, the reason for the lie moves beyond mere self-protection to the point of lying to achieve personal desires, even if it means hurting others. So, you see the progression. This is not simply lying to avoid punishment. This type of lying bears a close connection with the ways of darkness (Eph. 2:1-3). This lie represents a scheming, crafty […]